“For Johnny (as requested by Johnny) The Epic Poem aka ‘Hope’”

a little inspiration is all I need
    to see
there isn’t much more here than you loving me
it’s the warmth when the wind chills
and you put your palm to my cheek
or the kiss to your forehead
in the morning, when I leave
the slightest touches that send
our hearts into gentle places
where life lights shimmer and our
souls remain nameless
it’s the sunrise, it’s the smile on your face
it’s everything I ever wanted…

but with the onset of night, it’s erased
and my heart lies victim to the shadows
where no one can hold me close
walk away quietly in fear
out of my eyes drop one or two tears
I mustn’t let the death consume me
I’ll resurrect with the morning sun
though the sun won’t stay there for long
I see my face mirrored in murky puddles
the artificial lighting sheds my skin
it’s getting harder to breathe, soon,
    I’ll fit in

then my heart starts racing
like it senses life again
my eyes blinking rapidly to help
clear my blurred vision
doesn’t feel like death anymore, though
I barely feel alive
I grab at fading fireflies
and push them into my half-closed eyes
I’m alive

I run to the hillside screaming
I ascend and trip at the peak
tumbling down the other side
throwing out holy passages so they’d be lost
before I ever stopped
my firefly eyes shine like the stars
I’m wishing on, to bring a little love
back into my life
so I don’t become completely occupied
by my mind
and its dirty tricks that lure
me into weak states
while I have the time, I choose to divide
one piece here, one piece there
one piece everywhere
‘til I find a peace that I’m willing to share
so beware,
 cos this time I’m not going anywhere

drive straight into a wall of musical notes
ending up in a most lyrical dream
I see genies dancing and snakes spinning
the band playing a song I’d like to remember
because it will mean so much
in another time

I think multicolored and weightless
like the landmark I built for you
drifted off downstream
when my heart decided it was sleeping
it lingers in my memory 
like a half-remembered dream 
that I’ll try so hard to recapture
but with each moment, it fades faster
 
I weep, I am the willow
You sleep, please be my pillow
I promise, my touch will not wake you
You whisper, don’t worry, I’ll always love you

creation, magic’s art
see lightning flicker
let the tarot decide the winner
pulse beats quicker and quicker
the blood inside becomes thicker
it dies and my skin becomes wicker
you can see through me
stick your sword right into my open chest
you’d never miss

the quest for individuality
so very necessary to find our duality
I act as sun, you play the moon
fools on either side of the spectrum
I’ll dance, you play the tune

Like a flower in the morning
My eyes open and I absorb the light
Seeing what’s new in either me or you
Scribble my notes, compare and develop
Fantasies that help me shape my reality
If it’s believable or not, I hardly care anymore
As long as it keeps me believing
That there’s something more;
That a union of higher souls are dropping hearts from the starry sky,
And a Love can set my being on fire again,
Or that the music will play in my head forever, even when I’m dead
And that the dreamers never stop seeing there’s this little thing called Love
       that’s keeping our hearts beating

--july 18-19, 2003