"The Lonely Cell"
Entrapped
Enclosure
Four dark walls surround me
No one here to rescue me
No one here who cares
Damp, cold, dark
The morning dew, my tears
Sad, lonely, trapped
I hide from you, my fears
Loneliness, it overwhelms me
Never anything or anybody new
In my corner, I hold myself
No one else will or wants to
A small bug on the wall
My supplemental friend
Crawled away so effortlessly
I wish I could too
I wish I could join you
Keeping quiet on the outside
Screaming on the inside
Is there anyone out there?
Anyone who could care?
Digging at my skin
The blood begins to show
The pain is so unreal
Cannot be felt when I feel this low
Treachery
Abandoned
No longer will I be subdued
No longer will I wait for you
I know you'll never arrive
Never smile at my cell door
Yell for me to join you
Say I'm the one you've searched for
Scratching at the black walls
My cause, it is lost, unnoticed
I cannot escape, be free again
Never hope to be with you again
Time for me to give up
Time to stop dreaming
The shooting star always shatters before I start my wish
The well is too deep to hear my shallow pleas
So I know my wishes and dreams can never become reality
It's a never-ending story when I think of love
But in the real world, the story ends where it starts
With you, I know I could find happiness
But you'll never agree, must I rip out my heart?
I accept my final destiny
This room with four dark walls
Where loneliness and sadness are the only rules
Where love and happiness are always missed
Realization
Unloved
I cannot have you, or anyone else
No matter how bad I want you, or need you
This realization hurts me so
I never truly wanted to know
But I will end my wait, stop the hurt
End the hoping and stop the dreaming
Quit believing that happiness awaits me
And stop waiting for that one special thing
Called love�to come and save me.
--July 16-17, 1997