Message from Neelix


Author: Sira

 

Rating: PG

 

Disclaimer: Again I own nothing. Paramount does.

 

A/N: I want to thank Kate04 for beta-reading this story. Really, thank you very much!!! All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

! I revised this story today. Thanks to mystietrek I learned that I hadn’t got my facts straight before writing this story. I’m sorry, I never watched the season seven episodes but I should have looked the information up. So, I made the story fit the facts. Thanks mystietrek!!!

 

 

She was sitting in her favourite armchair, cuddled into a warm blanket and reading a book, when there was a knock at the door. Getting up, she took a look at the clock on the mantelpiece. Almost ten p.m. Who could want to speak to her that late?

 

It was B’Elanna. Wrapped into a warm coat that reached to her knees, she stood shivering on the doorstep.

 

“Good e..evening, Captain.”

 

B’Elanna? Come in, before you freeze solid out there.”

 

She let the young woman enter and took her coat from her ice cold hands.

 

“Come on in, make yourself comfortable in the living room. There’s a nice warm fire in the hearth and you’ll find a spare blanket on the couch. I’ll make us some tea in the meantime. What do you say?”

 

B’Elanna nodded thankful and Kathryn went into the kitchen where she replicated two cups of herbal tea. Her thoughts were racing. What could bring B’Elanna to leave her husband and her daughter in the middle of the night? And why didn’t she announce her visit beforehand? When she came back to the living room a minute later, she found that B’Elanna had helped herself to a blanket and she handed her one of the cups.

 

“Thanks, Captain.”

 

“You know it is Kathryn, B’Elanna. I’m not your Captain anymore.”

 

The young woman gave her a rueful smile.

 

“I know. Thanks, …Kathryn. It is just a bit hard to change a seven year old habit, you know?”

 

Despite her uneasiness Kathryn couldn’t help herself and smile back at her.

 

“Who do you tell? Even the faintest noises let me wake up at night and every single time I expect red alert.” She rolled her eyes.

 

B’Elanna had to laugh at this unexpected confession and they shared a moment of comfortable silence. Without one of them realising it, both looked simultaneously into their cups, thinking back of the past years. With a sigh Kathryn snapped back to reality.

 

B’Elanna, what’s the matter? I don’t think you’re here only for the pleasure of a comfortable chat, are you? Is everything ok with you and Tom?”

 

B’Elanna looked up at her surprised. Obviously she hadn’t thought that her late visit could cause her to worry.

 

“Of course, everything’s fine with us. I’m sorry that I burst into your home just like that. I hadn’t considered how this must look to you. I had intended to come earlier but then Tom was late and there was no one to look after Miral, you see.”

 

She looked at her apologetically.

 

“I’m really sorry, Cap... Kathryn. It seems I forgot my manners, not telling you why I came here. The reason is that I have a message for you and I had to promise to deliver it in person.”

 

“A message? From whom?” Kathryn was surprised. Who could have a message for her that he couldn`t deliver himself? Various persons and scenarios were racing through her mind, but none of them were of the pleasant kind.

 

B’Elanna noticed the expression on her face and smiled reassuringly.

 

“No need to worry, really. The message is from Neelix.” Now she grinned, obviously enjoying the expression on her face.

 

Neelix?” To say that she was dumbfounded would’ve been an understatement. “When did you speak to him? How is he?”

 

“I didn’t speak to him, or rather said I did, but it was back on Voyager. He contacted me from the Talaxian Colony.”

 

“I guess I don’t quite understand. What kind of message is it and why did you wait till today to deliver it?” Her voice held no trace of accusation, but simply mirrored the confusion she felt.

 

B’Elanna shrugged her shoulders.

 

“I don’t know what this chip contains. Really. As I said, he contacted me shortly before we entered the Borg transwarp conduit. He said that he had recorded a message for you and that he wanted me to download it and to deliver it to you October 28th. Why especially this date? I don’t know. He wouldn’t say anything further, despite that it was absolutely important for you to get this message. Well, I promised him to do as he had said. So here I am.”

 

She rummaged in the small bag lying beside her and finally handed her a small case that contained the data chip she had spoken about.

 

“Well, thank you for everything, B’Elanna. I cannot say that I have the least idea what everything is about, but it is very kind of you to keep your promise to the word.”

 

“I’m happy that I could do that for you. For years you always thought of us first and without you I wouldn’t be where I am today. This was the least I could do for you. I think I better go now though. I’m sure you’ll die to know what this chip contains. ” She wanted to get up but Kathryn leaned forwards and put a hand or her arm.

 

“Please don’t go yet. We haven’t seen each other in weeks and I would love to hear how Tom and you are faring.”

 

In the end it was over two hours later when B’Elanna took her farewell. She was already out of the door when she turned one last time.

 

“You know, I really have no idea what Neelix aims at with all this, but he said one thing to me. He said this could be the key to your happiness and ..., well, I really hope it is.”

 

With that she turned and left.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Back in the house Kathryn went to the living room where she took the case with the data chip from the table. She weighed it in her hands, willing it to give away its secret.

 

What kind of information could Neelix have that was significant for her happiness?

 

She hoped that this had nothing to do with the Admiral. She really didn’t need anymore of her older self’s insights into her and her crew’s life. The repercussions of what she learned back on Voyager still influenced her life more than she liked.

 

After some minutes of silent contemplation, she decided that there was nothing to gain with waiting any longer. She went over to the computer terminal and put the chip inside.

 

Within seconds Neelix face appeared on the screen. He had recorded the message in a house, probably his own. Scattered clothes and bundles of herbs were covering almost all of the floor.

 

The view of the room disappeared, as Neelix brought his face near to the screen, as if not quite trusting the technology. After a suspicious glance at something she couldn’t see, he seemed to be reassured and leaned back in his chair.

 

“Captain Janeway, I know how surprised you must be about this message, but I assure you everything will become clear within minutes.” He paused for a moment, as if unsure how to proceed.

 

“How are you? I hope you’re well, of course. You cannot believe what a funny feeling it is to record this message. Although I’m here now, in midst of people of my own kind, I’m missing all of you dreadfully and now that you get this message five more months will have passed without a word of any of you and...”

 

He stopped himself in mid sentence. “Sorry, I digressed again, but I’m not ashamed to admit that even thinking about the day I left you hurts quite a bit. But may it be as it is.. .” He interrupted himself again.

 

“Well, I guess it is two questions you’d like to have answered right now. First, what is this message all about and second, why did I insist that it has to be given to you at this particular date.”

 

Kathryn found herself nodding impatiently. She really liked Neelix, she always had, but more than once she had wished that he would learn to come to a point without taking all kinds of loop ways.

 

“Well, I would say I start with the first question. Basically I have a tale to tell. A tale that I’m sure interests you.” He smiled, his eyes glistening with secret joy.

 

“Enough with the teasing. Spill it.” Her fingers were drumming a nervous rhythm on the table.

 

“Ok, It was yesterday, I was in the colony’ dining hall, and I was hanging up  some herbs to dry, as I remembered that I forgot to tell you how to dry Renora tubers. Well, Renora tubers are almost as useful as Leola Root and so I asked for admission to contact Voyager.  It was granted and soon I was speaking to Ensign Kim. I asked to speak with you or Commander Chakotay and he put me through to the Commander’s quarters. I like Ensign Kim but I thought your well- being was far too important so that I preferred to speak with you or the Commander.”


He stopped to take breath.

 

 “So, what can I say. The Commander looked dreadful, if I may be honest. He was quite pale and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.”

 

He shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just let him sitting there feeling awful. After all I was Voyager’s Morale Officer, wasn’t I? So I asked him what was wrong with him.”

 

He looked apologetically.

 

“At first he didn’t want to tell. But I could tell by the look in his eyes that he needed someone to talk to. He is always so kind to listen to anyone, but who ever listens to him? Well, I said to him that he had nothing to loose, if he would tell me what it was bothering his mind.”

 

He wrung his hands in the air, looking slightly guilty.

 

“Ok, In fact I told him that he mustn’t worry, that I wouldn’t tell a soul about our talk. After all I could hardly talk to anyone of you, could I? If I hadn’t given him that reassurance he would have never talked to me. And Captain, I assure you, normally I would never break a given promise, but I firmly believe that it is for the best of both of you, if you know about this.”

 

She felt a griping in her guts, not so sure if she really wanted to know what Neelix had to say.

 

“As it turned out Chakotay had a talk with Admiral Janeway. I still can hardly believe that you, I mean the future you of another timeline, had travelled through the time to bring you all back home. It sounds weird and excuse me if I say this, but the Kathryn Janeway I got to know would never do this. Corrupting a timeline, I mean.” He nodded vigorously.

 

“Anyway, she told Commander Chakotay that she knew he was dating Seven.” He shook his head. “I mean I like Seven, but did you ever think that these two would date each other. To say I was dumbfounded would have been the understatement of the year.”

 

No she hadn’t and if she would ever cross the way of a certain Admiral again she would beam her out of the nearest airlock. Come to think of it, Seven could accompany her on this trip. Shaking her head tiredly she leaned back in her arm chair and closed her eyes.

 

“I can tell you, I was quite speechless for some moments and that means something. And as if that wasn’t enough. It seems that this Admiral told him that in her timeline they had married and that Seven died on an away mission three years into the future. He was looking so desperate now, that I tried to assure him that with the Admiral’s visit the future had been changed and that he must not worry about Seven. And can you imagine what he did then? He started to laugh.”

 

That got her attention and she sat up again.

 

“It is true, he laughed. Can you imagine how that made me feel? I was short about calling sickbay, thinking, well... yes thinking that he lost it. Ok, I know I couldn’t have called sickbay, but I would have, if I had still been on board. However, then he said that he didn’t worry about Seven. I said ok, and what do you worry about then? And he answered he worried about the Captain. About you.”

 

“Oh Chakotay,” she whispered.

 

“Now I was utterly confused and told him I didn’t understand. Then he sighed again. Did you notice that on Voyager were sighing a lot lately? However, he started to explain himself and although I cannot give you a word for word account, I’ll try to summarise what he said.”

 

He smiled reassuringly.

 

“He said, that he knew that the Admiral hadn’t only told him about this timeline, but that she had told you, too. He was worried what you would think about it. Yes, he was dating Seven, but it wasn’t something serious. He told me that he cared for her, but that he didn’t love her.”

 

 He stopped and looked slightly uncomfortable.

 

“ I know that it must hurt to hear that Captain, but believe me it is for your best. Please try to understand him. He had been lonely for so long. He said that he loved you, that he had for years. He even told me that you gave each other a promise once. That you couldn’t give in to your feeling while in the Delta Quadrant, but that you’d be free to explore your feelings when back in the Alpha Quadrant. Well, he gave up hope that this would ever happen and he couldn’t bear the loneliness anymore. Then Seven came and asked him for a date. And basically that was all there was about it. They dated a few time and before anything serious could happen the Admiral came. Can you see how bad he must have felt that he told me about it?”

 

She could feel tears welling up in her eyes but blinked them away. If everything had indeed been as harmless as Neelix told it was, how did it come that she hadn’t seen Chakotay once since the debriefings?

 

“I know, would that be all you and Chakotay would be happy together by now. And you aren’t are you?”

 

Now it was Neelix turn to sigh.

 

“You know, I told him that I didn’t see the problem then. His relationship with Seven wasn’t serious and he loved you and you loved him. Why not breaking up with Seven, in a gentle way of course, and trying to make things right with you. Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?”

 

“And?” Kathryn groaned.

 

“But he answered me that he couldn’t do it, at least not right now. For one it wouldn’t be fair to Seven to break things up that fast and he said that even if he came to you begging on his knees for your forgiveness, you still wouldn’t let him love you. And you wouldn’t have, would you?”

 

She shook her head sadly. No, she wouldn’t have accepted his love. Not even then.

 

“He said you would think of Seven, that she deserved happiness and love. He believed that you would most probably think that you have let him down throughout the years and that you wouldn’t interfere with his new found happiness. He was sure that you would think that only because he married Seven in another timeline that they could be happy in this. And he was convinced that you would be guilt ridden because of Seven’s death in this other timeline. Because of a future you couldn’t change, one that would never happen now. He believed that too much time has passed, that the safety wall you built between the two of you, was too high by now.”

 

He shrugged a sad expression on his face.

 

“But now comes the really important part, Captain. Commander Chakotay said that he never loved a woman like he loves you. He said that even if your love never came to bloom he would die a happy man because he had the pleasure and luck to meet his soul mate, something so many people yearn for in vain. And he said that even if nothing he could do or say could make it right, he hoped that there would come a day that you came to him and that then you would be free to love each other. Captain, he’ll be calling things with Seven off, as soon as you will have reached earth and settled down. He knows that he cannot make Seven happy, as long as his heart is bound to you. He will only wait till he has seen her safe to her aunt. Even if it doesn’t look to you like this at the moment, Captain, there’s a man out there waiting for you.”

 

Tears were running down her cheeks now but she didn’t even notice. Could it be? Could Neelix really be right?”

 

“You don’t believe me. I bet. But when was the last time you spoke to Chakotay or asked someone about him and Seven’s whereabouts? Captain, there’s still a chance for the two of you and you should really take it.”

 

He had spoken fast and took a deep breath now.

 

“Ok, so much for the first part of this message. Now to the second question. Why today? That’s easy. It is because of Halloween.”

 

He beamed and Kathryn scowled. Now she was sure that he had finally lost it. What had Chakotay’s and her ‘situation’ to do with Halloween?

 

“Ah, Captain. Don’t look at me like this. I’m sure you’re making one of your funny faces right now. You know, Tom Paris told me everything about this specific holiday. Halloween, also know as ‘All Hallow’s Eve‘. It was originally a Cetlic festival. The Celts called it Samhain. But most probably you already know this. But what is Halloween really about? Why do people all dress up in funny costumes?”

 

He made a short pause.

 

“It is because people thought that this night the ghosts of the dead would come back to earth. They hoped that when they lit bonfires or dressed in especially scary costumes they could banish them from their houses. At least for the winter season. Do you know now what I want to tell you?”

 

She shook her head. ‘No.’

 

“Think about it, Halloween always marked the end of the harvest season. The End of October was the time that pastures and fields were left to dry up. Animals were brought in from the pasture to be butchered and remaining vegetables were left in fields and gardens to rot. It was this part of the season that often brought about reminisces of loved ones that were lost. And that’s were people’s believe in ghosts comes into play again. People who were used to hard work outside were confided to their houses all of a sudden, it became colder every day and there were only a few hours of daylight  of daylight left . That left them with too much time to think. Think about people they lost, for example.”

 

Neelix stopped for a moment and as he spoke again his voice was soft.

 

“Can’t you see it? It is time to banish the ghosts of your past and to start a new life. And what night could be better suited than Halloween. By now five months have passed since your return to earth. Months in which you surely learned to miss Chakotay. Weren’t you lonely those months? Didn’t the ghosts of the past came back to haunt you? Wasn’t Chakotay always the beginning and the end of your musings?”

 

Kathryn swallowed hard. Dammit. How could he know her so well?

 

“Kathryn, not all is lost. You have two more days to find out where Chakotay is hiding right now and to gather your courage. That’s why I insisted that you get the message today. You still have time but not enough to find reasons why you shouldn’t do it. And then, on October 31, go and find him so that the two of you can banish your ghosts together.”

 

He had never used her first name before and this intimate gesture touched her heart. Neelix was truly the most unselfish person she knew, always caring more for others than he did for himself.

 

“The two of you belong together. Maybe you never realized it, but whenever the two of you were together, there was a sparkle of genuine attraction and love in the air. The way you touched each other, or the way your eyes locked. It was visible for all of us.”

 

She was shocked. Had she really been that obvious in her feelings?

 

“So, that really is the end of this message now. I hope it that I can get through to B’Elanna. I wouldn’t trust Tom Paris or Harry Kim with this message and I hope that it reached you in time. Of course I hope that you all reached the alpha quadrant safely. And more than anything else I hope that you find the happiness that you denied yourself in all those years.”

 

He gave her a warm smile.

 

“It was a pleasure serving with you. Please send my greetings to the others. Especially Tuvok. I hope he’s better by now.”

 

The screen went black.

 

**********

 

She stepped from the transporter platform and took a deep breath. She had really done it and now it was too late for second thoughts.

 

She thanked the young man at the console and after a quick look around she left the building. She was nervous. She might have looked calm from the outside, but she wasn’t. Today she would see Chakotay for the first time in three months and she just hadn’t the slightest idea, how he would react when seeing her.

 

The last two days she had brood about all possible scenarios, but to no avail. He might be happy to see her, he might not. She simply couldn’t predict his reactions anymore. She had to go and see for herself if Neelix was right and if she was indeed welcome.

 

What a mess. Why did it have to come this far after all?

 

But she knew it was mainly her fault, as she had avoided Chakotay at all costs since their return to Earth. No wonder that he hadn’t contacted her in the last months. She had played the role of the ice princess all too well.

 

She couldn’t have known that he intended to break up with Seven, but even so she should have offered him her friendship. His happiness should have been her main concern and not her hurt ego or her bruised heart.

 

She had to laugh at the irony. All too often people had tried to assure her that it was ok to act like a human being, but as soon that she acted by her heart she managed to dig herself a hole that deep, that she had no idea how to get out of it.

 

A sudden cold gust of wind, brought her out of her reverie and she took a first conscious look at her surrounding. She had always imagined that Chakotay would settle down somewhere in Arizona or Mexico. Somewhere with a warm and dry climate. Instead he had chosen to buy a house in one of the rural parts of Vermont.

 

In her opinion a good choice, as it was a beautiful area. The small town consisted of less than 60 houses and most of them were painted  bright white. They offered the eye a pleasing contrast to the green hills and the woods that still seemed to burn in bright yellow and red.

 

She had always loved the Indian Summer and she was thankful for the opportunity of a walk. The wind might be cold and strong, but the sky only showed sporadic clouds and the sun was throwing a soft glow on everything.

 

For the first time in days she felt filled with fresh energy and she stopped in mid track, raising her face to the sun. For some moments she stood still and just enjoyed the feeling of warm sun and cold wind alternating on her skin. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the different noises. There was the wind, that let the leaves rustle on their branches and drove the loose ones over the deserted streets. Somewhere near was a car that was driving into the opposite direction. In one of the houses near to her someone was playing the piano and the faint tune of ‘For Elise’ was caressing her ears.

 

How could she let herself forget that life was beautiful? Why did she spend so much time with mourning the past when she had the power to create her future by her liking?

 

She opened her eyes and a little sigh escaped her lips. She might be able to decide what she wanted to do with her future, but a whole lot depended on Chakotay’s view of things. She knew that she wanted him in her life, but what did he want? She walked on, deciding that she had procrastinated things long enough. According to the information she had got from Tom Chakotay owned the last house in this street and she could already see it lurking behind the next bend.

 

Five minutes later she stood in front of the door, taking in her appearance for one  last time. In the morning she had spent a long time in front of her wardrobe, deciding what best to wear, trying various dresses before finally deciding that it was useless. If physical beauty was the deciding factor she would stand no chance against Seven. Not only was the former Borg much younger than her, no to make things worse Seven always looked like she stepped out of some fashion magazine.

 

If Chakotay would still want her, he would take her like she was now, clad in a pair of jeans and a black blouse.

 

Taking a last deep breath she finally knocked. She had to wait a good two minutes before she heard steps nearing. Then the door opened and there he was. She caught her breath as she took in his appearance. She had forgotten how gorgeous he really was. Like her he was dressed casually in blue jeans, combined with a white turtleneck. He had let this hair grow during the last months and it looked dishevelled as if he just had gotten out of the wind, or out of bed for that matter. With a mental sigh she pushed this thought away.

 

The look Chakotay gave her spoke of his surprise, and he seemed almost a bit shocked. He obviously hadn’t expected her visit. So Tom had kept word and hadn’t informed him of her plan.

 

“Kathryn?” His voice was hoarse.

 

“Hello, Chakotay.” She had to clear her throat, as it felt much too tight right now. “May I come in; it is a bit cold out here.”

 

He shook his head, as if to banish a vision. Then as he saw that she was still there, he run a hand through his hair and stepped back, opening the door farther.

 

“Of course. Sorry, I forget my manners. It is just that I didn’t expect you.”

 

She had passed him but turned around now.

 

“It is me that’s sorry, Chakotay. I should’ve given you a call instead of just stopping by. Am I disturbing you? Then I leave right now.”

 

He shook his head vigorously.

 

“You aren’t disturbing me at all. It is...good to see you. Really.” The smile he gave her was sincere and he gestured towards a room at the end of the hallway.

 

“Can I offer you a cup of coffee?”

 

She smiled back at him. “Are you kidding me? Of course I would love a cup of coffee. Thank you.”

 

He passed her and she followed his lead to a bright and spacious kitchen where she sat down at the table. She watched him filling the coffee maker with water. The late afternoon sun was shining through the window letting the small grains of dust dancing in the air and she felt a sense of peace coming over her.

 

Chakotay, who had finished preparing the machine, sat down opposite of her. He looked at her, lifting his eyebrow inquiringly before he nodded at something she had put on the table.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“It is a pumpkin, or better said a Jack o’ Lantern. Isn’t that obvious?”

 

He looked again at the pumpkin which she had carved some funny face.

 

“I know what a Jack o’ Lantern is. I just cannot imagine that you made all your way from San Francisco to bring me one, just in case I forgot to prepare one myself.” His tone was teasingly but she could hear the unspoken question about the reason for her visit.

 

“You’re right, of course. I just wanted to see you, to talk to you. It is so long that we have spoken to each other and I ... I missed you.” She gave him a crooked smile and she could see the same sadness she felt mirrored in his eyes.

 

He got up and fetched two cups that he filled with coffee. He placed one in front of her and cradled the other in his hands. When he spoke his voice was earnest and he gave her a taxing look, as if trying to assess the possibility that she would back out when it came to a serious talk. .

 

“I missed you, too. It is only that during the debriefing I got the impression you didn’t care for my company anymore.”

 

“Oh Chakotay, that’s not true.” Without a conscious thought she reached out and placed her hand over his. “I always cared for you. I just didn’t want to... to interfere with your and Seven’s relationship.”

 

“What relationship?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. “Do you mean the one that ended before it really began? Come on, Kathryn. Do you really think that I and Seven were meant to be? I don’t know what happened in this other timeline, what made me think I could be happy with her, but I know that I could never be happy with her under the circumstances now. I was lonely and yes we had a few dates, but I never thought about starting a serious relationship with her. I don’t know what had gotten into me and believe me one thing, if I could turn back time I would never give her the impression that I could be seriously interested in her. I like her and I learned to value her company, but I never loved her. ”

 

Silence spread between them and Chakotay just watched her, waiting for her response. She was more than a bit unsure of what to do now, but decided that she had nothing to lose. Too many things had been left unsaid in the past. If she owed him nothing else than the truth.

 

“I’ll be honest, Chakotay. When the Admiral told me that you were dating Seven, I felt hurt. Hurt and angry, although I didn’t have the right to feel that way. First I was seething and then…well, then I felt I like crying. But I decided and swore to myself that I wouldn’t interfere with your happiness, because I thought you were happy. Nonetheless, I just not had the strength to support you like you would have deserved it.” She lowered her head, not feeling able to hold his gaze.

 

“You know, I never spoke about it, but some part of me always nurtured the dream that we would be together once we reached home. I know it was foolish to expect you to live as a saint. Especially with only the faint hope of a future that may never come to keep you going. I’m so sorry, Chakotay.”

 

He didn’t reply and when she couldn’t bear the silence anymore she looked up at him. She couldn’t read the expression in his face and she began to think that it had been a mistake to come. She wanted to pull her hand back, but Chakotay covered it with one his and he started to stroke it gently.

 

“I’m so glad that you’re here.” His voice was soft and she had to lean forwards to understand what he was saying. “I began to worry that you would never come. Tell me only one thing, Kathryn. Are you here to repair our friendship or do you want to explore the roads not taken.” 

 

She thought she sawto see a flicker of hope in his eyes and she locked eyes with him, willing him to see what she felt.

 

“Our friendship is important for me, Chakotay but I want more. I...I want to spend my life with you. That is, if you’re having me. Chakotay.” She paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “I love you”

 

A soft smile appeared on Chakotay’s lips and he got up off his chair. Before she could wonder what he was up to, he had rounded the table and kneeled down in front of her, leaning into her till their breaths mingled. They were so close now, that they were almost touching. “I love you too, Kathryn.”

 

It seemed like an eternity till he finally closed the distance between them and his lips brushed hers. It was only a feather like touch but it was enough to set  her nerves on fire and she felt goose bumps covering her body.

 

He wanted to slowly withdraw from her, but now she wanted more. It felt like this simple touch had awoken a hunger so intense that it had to be sated in an instant or she would die of frustration. She pulled him back by his turtleneck and this time their kiss was demanding and urgent. She needed to feel him and her hands started to stroke his body. When she felt his hand caressing her in return she forgot about everything, even the untouched cup of coffee on the table.

 

***********

 

Some hours later they were sitting in  Chakotay’s living room, only clad in bathrobes. A fire was burning in the hearth and through the window they could see the faint reverberation from Kathryn’s pumpkin that they had placed on the porch.

 

With a content sigh Kathryn snuggled closer against Chakotay.

 

“Isn’t it funny, that something that seemed to be that complicated for years can be so easy and feel so right in the end?”

 

He stroke her hair, taking his time with answering.

 

“I won’t call it funny. It is just that the timing was never right. First there was Mark, than your obligation to the crew and in the end it was me and Seven. But let’s forget the past, it is the future that counts. I won’t let you go again and we still have so much time ahead of us.”

 

He softly kissed her neck before continuing.

 

“I must admit that I’m curious about one thing though. Why did you come to me today of all days? What made you think that we still had a chance all of sudden?”

 

This time it was her, trying to find the right words.

 

“Let’s just say I had a visit from someone of my past, telling me that Halloween was just the right day to banish old nightmares and ugly ghosts. Someone who told me it was time to start anew.”

 

He began to softly massage her tense shoulders.

 

“It must have been some wise person. If I ever have the chance to meet him or her remind me to say thank you.”

 

She laughed, causing him stop his massage.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

She turned around, so that she was able to see his face.

 

“Well, you know him well. And if he is wise or just kind hearted I don’t dare to tell. He was the one who thought it was it mission to familiarise us with the 101 ways to cook Leola Root.”

 

Neelix?” He face looked so shocked that she had to laugh again.

 

“It is a long story and I promise to tell you everything in its own time. In the meantime I think we shouldn’t waste our time discussing things that can wait. What do you think?”

 

He feigned innocence.

 

“Well, if you say so.”

 

 She raised her eyebrow seductively and brought her lips on his, kissing him slowly.

 

She couldn’t be happier; today her life had finally taken a turn for the better and all because of Neelix. Before she fully concentrated on Chakotay, she spoke a short prayer for the Talaxian. She hoped that he, too, had found happiness.

 

One day she would find a way to properly thank him, but tonight belonged to Chakotay and her.

 

 

The End

 

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