It's true when you read that children learn what they live.

I realized this recently.

I spent a lot of time growing up with negativity.

I loved a very controlling person.

I lived with someone who never had anything nice to say.

I loved someone who didn't know how to talk, but always lashed out.

I lived with anger, violence, resentment and hatred.

Then that person who was once my everything became my biggest fear.

As I grew up, I seemed to take on some of those characteristics.

Everything that I thought I hated, I seemed to become.

I thought that in order to love someone you had to control them.

I felt that if I didn't spend every moment with them, they would leave.

I was angry at the world.

I believed that if I just couldn't get the words out, I could show it.

I resented that controlling person for making my life hell.

I hated who I had become, the shadow of all that I'd ever feared.

I stopped blaming someone else and took a big look at who I really am.

I realize now that when you love someone, you love everything about them.

You love their good, you love their bad and you accept them for all that they are.

I realize that I need a life of my own, as they do as well.

I know the importance of open communication and remaining calm.

I now believe that I am a good person and that I do wonderful things.

I see all of the wonderful people I have been blessed to have in my life.

I have learned it's okay to trust other people and to let them love me...

Because now I love myself.

8/21/99