i close my eyes and i remember

what it felt like to be wrapped

tightly in your arms,

where for the first time

in such an incredibly long time

i felt safe and secure

and as much of a comfort

as that came to me

it also frightened me unbelievably

and i remember even as a child

my security blanket

was ripped away from me

and given to someone more needing

possibly even more deserving

and yet it left this emptiness

lingering, deep inside of me

that was never replaced or rebuilt

and when i look into your eyes

i see someone that makes me feel

cherished, adored and complete

but in my heart, deep down in my soul

i’m more afraid of you than anything

afraid that this comfort, this excitement…

that it won’t last forever

that someone more loving, more deserving

will come along behind me

and my existence in your world

would cease

and my heart, would once again

be shattered…

 

6/17/01