Behind Closed Doors

Gaffer Gamgee and Widow Rumble sat outside Number 3 Bag Shot Road looking up towards Bag End.

"Ya know, I always thought that my Sam would be one for the hobbitlasses but I never reckoned for that Mr Frodo getting his claws into him. Not that I have anything against the Master of Bag End as such, he is a nice enough fellow … and I suppose if you were that way inclined - Not that I am, as well you know m'dear." The Gaffer squeezed the Widow's thigh and winked in her direction. "… As I was saying; he's not half bad looking. But I wish they would keep it to themselves. I don't mind what they do … as long as they do it behind closed doors. I've taken to coughing as I walk round corners now; it tends to stop any unexpected surprises."

"Oh, Ham, you old stick-in-the-mud. Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love – well forget young; you gave my kitchen table a good workover at the beginning of last year if my memory serves me correctly. Let them be" The Widow rubbed the Gaffer's cheek lovingly with her knuckles.

~~~

At Their Age

Oh, just look at them, Frodo" Sam said, shaking his head. "How disgusting, look at him pawing at her. At their age … you'd think that they'd be a bit more discreet. We don't need to see that."

Frodo simply smiled.

"It's not right, not at his age, he's got one foot nearly in the grave, he has. And what must people think, the pair of them canoodling in the back garden of Number Three. Oh, no, she's caressing his face … I just can't watch." Sam's face was red with suppressed rage, his hands balled up in tight fists.

Below them, Frodo saw the Gaffer and the Widow Rumble sitting and talking with no evidence of any canoodling in sight.

"Sam, what are you on about? There is nothing amiss down there, unless you consider it improper for the chairs to be less than three feet apart. And your Pa does not have one foot in the grave." He shook his head.

Sam had calmed considerably and, as he ran his hand through Frodo's hair, some worry crept into his voice. "I wouldn't be so sure about his health, my dear. He's had a rather nasty cough of late."