She lays crying on her pillow
on the bed there all alone
her mind had found reality
but her heart is far from home.
She thinks of what she needs
someone to give her happiness
but looking at her destiny
its all just one big mess.
She used to be a dreamer
with strengths that are now unknown
she is so unsure of herself
to even call him on the phone.
He is the greatest thing to happen to her
in a sense that he is the one
but still she cant believe it
because of what the others have done.
She wants to let him hold her
inside she knows how it will feel
she wants for him to love her
but her heart doesn't believe it still.
The things he says to her
makes her feel as if it is love
she knows he will never really know
what the xoxo at the end really does.
Inside she thinks she loves him
but that just hurts her too
he is just too perfect
and she cant believe its true.
She believes he wants to hurt her
although she really cant think of why
her heart wants so much to have this
you can tell everyday when she cries.
He makes her so happy inside
she would never want anything more than him
she has a great fear of his thoughts of her
but nothing would be better than letting him in.
She eyes every star in sight
wishing for him on every one
to have him love her forever
to know where these words come from.
She dreams of the day she can meet him
to feel his hands upon her skin
to know that he can love her
that he can be her friend.
She wants to hear his voice in her ear
to be able to just grab his hand
she wants to feel their bodies as one
to look at him knowing what is a man.
To never have to feel shameful
of herself or the way that she feels
to be able to look at this dream that she has
and know in her heart that he is real.
She wants to call him hers
and show him the things she can do
to have the security of knowing
she is all he wants too.
The dreams she has are of him
as are her thoughts every minute of the day
just of the things they could do with each other
him and her in every way.
She knows he can satisfy her body
and he can also stimulate her mind
she knows as long as she has him
her heart will do just fine.
He was sent to her from God
she believes this in her heart
she knows she is his angel
and he just fits the part.
God knew she had to start over
and someone special had to be sent
he knew that she was hurting
and she couldn't do it alone again.
So now in a way he is with her
and still she is so confused
she doesn't want to cry anymore
but doesn't know what to do.
She needs to have him love her
she needs to feel him close
she wants so much to trust him
but is afraid she will never know.