*Sarah, Janet, Alyssa, Dionne, Isabella, Brett, Richard, and Aaron lounge around the classroom, blipping and babbling about one thing or the other. *

Sarah: NO! JEFFERY IS MINE.

Alyssa: HE’S MINE, DANGIT!

*Sarah and Alyssa fight like enraged ducks*

Alyssa: (Slaps Sarah)

Sarah: (Girly scream)

Sarah: (Bites Alyssa)

Alyssa: (Berates)

Everyone else: Sigh…

*Dionne pulls Alyssa and Sarah apart, taking Jeffery and throwing him into her backpack*

Sarah and Alyssa: *Ashamed*

Janet: (Runs around telling everyone that Dionne is not coming to school today.)

Isabella: Dionne is here….

Brett: She’s watching us….

Richard: Don’t sleep or she’ll eat you!

*Everyone breaks into laughter, except Dionne and Alyssa, who just look at each other, eyebrow raised*

Aaron: (Talks to self, suddenly stands up and leaves the classroom)

Everyone: …

*Suddenly, the molecular stature of the Elementary/middle School shifts, Dionne’s weird friend can be heard cackling in the distance*

Janet: Where are we?

Isabella: Flips through a big book, “I haven’t a clue”

Dionne: *Burns the book*

Isabella: (Manly shriek)

Dionne: (Cackles evilly)

Alyssa: (Giggles insanely)

*Michael Dickenson swoops into the classroom on a broomstick.*

Michael: Fly, Hedwig!

Hedwig: BAWKAWWWK!

*Michael’s chicken flies away, carrying a memorandum.*

*Sounds start coming from down the hall…*

*Aaron’s voice: For the last time! I'm not Mike! (Girlish screams)*

*Little kids chanting: Mold! Mold! Mold! Mold!*

Everyone: …

*Dionne and Alyssa giggle, getting up and leaving the classroom*

Janet: That’s not a good thing

Sarah: (Cries for Aaron)

Isabella: You guys, the most evil person ever just left the classroom, I bet she’s plotting!

*Zane’s voice: Hi guys! Stay away from me, I'm a reb- OWIEOW! AGHH! I'M BURNING.*

*Dionne’s voice: (Maniac laugh, followed by Alyssa’s zealous giggling.)

*Aaron’s voice: (Constant un-linked girly screeches)*

Brett: Spooky…

Richard: DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT?!?!?!

Brett: No…

Richard: HOW COULD YOU? (Sobs)

Brett: GOD, DON’T BE STUPID.

Richard: YOUR STUPID.

Brett: I DON’T LIKE YOU ANY MORE.

*Both of them squabble*

Brett: $#@$!

Richard: Oh yeah, well; $#@%^(#@^%!

Everyone in the classroom: *gasp*

Sarah: HOKAY. Neither of you are fat…

Brett: She’s right (Sobs)

Richard: Yeah (Bawls)

Richard and Brett: (Hug each other)

*Dionne and Alyssa walk in, red liquid drenching their faces around the mouth*

Everyone: (Stares)

Sarah: O….M…G

Janet: I don’t desire to know what you two were doing out there.

Isabella: See?!

Alyssa: Mmm… Strawberries.

Dionne and Alyssa: (Anomalous giggling.)

*Michael hands them napkins*

Dionne: (Jabs at the heart-shaped scar on his forehead)

Michael: (Hisses)

Dionne: (Hisses back)

Michael: (Cowers in fear)

*Jordan Deck foxtrots into the rooms, sitting in front of Isabella*

Jordan: Heeeeey.

Isabella: (Scared of guys so is embarrassed and turns away from him.)

Jordan: Fine, be that way.

*Jordan leaves*

*Jordan’s voice from down the hallway: Hello little kids… What? No, I’m not Michael, I’m Jor- AH! *

*Little kid voices: Mold! Mold! Mold!*

*Jordan’s voice: (Snuffed scream)*

Everyone: …

Dionne and Alyssa: (Burst into laughter)

Michael: People! We must embark on a dangerous and terrifying expedition, follow me!

       Everyone: (Shrugs and follows him out into the hallway)

*Everyone walks into the room, where a big snarling 3-headed monkey/dog thing stands. The trap door underneath it is propped open*

Michael: Well, there you are. Professor Ireland has already got past The-big-scary-dog-monster-guy.

*Sarah puts her silver flute to her lips, and plays a tune.*

 The-big-scary-dog-monster-guy: (Falls, dies, burns.)

Everyone: (Stares)

Janet: Ohh! Ohh! A secret passage!

Brett: She’s right! Look!

Richard: Wow, a trap door.

*Everyone jumps in the trap door*

Everyone: (Plop on the ground)

Alyssa: Wow, dark…

*Isabella suddenly shrieks*

Isabella: Devil’s hair! Devil’s hair! Help meeeee!

Dionne: (Slaps Isabella)

Dionne: Issy! Get a hold of your self! And for god sakes, get out of my hair.

Isabella: Oh… sorry.. eh.. ha?

Brett: (Feminine giggle)

Michael: Shh… I hear the flapping of wings.

Dionne: Look! Incompetent flying keys.

Alyssa: That one’s wing is broken.

Dionne: Say no more.

*Dionne flies around the room with her devil powers, zapping all the keys with her lightning fingers.*

 Keys: (All dead)

Michael: (Picks up a key, it doesn’t fit the locked door.)

Brett: Damn you Dionne! It’s gonna take forever to find the right key. Professor Ireland has probably already used his evil plan to steal the secret-thing-that-none-of-us-have-a-clue-about-but-we-are-trying-to-find-it-anyways.

Dionne: (Snorts, snapping her fingers, the big, shiny, blue, key that is different from all the rest but Brett was too dumb to figure that out flies into the keyhole of the locked door.)

Michael: (Looks befuddled but turns the key.)

* Inside the room is a giant chess board *

Queen Chess piece: You must win our chess game to pass.

Dionne: Why? The door is open on the other side of the game board…

Queen Chess piece: So?

Everyone: (Walks through the chess board and out the door on the other side)

Queen Chess piece: (Unable to follow them because she is just a big stupid piece of rock.) NOOOO!

Janet: Wow, that was easy!

Richard: Ew, what stinks?

Isabella: Well, if you would be more observant, there is a big dead troll in front of you.

Richard: Agh!

Dionne: It looks as if the stupid beast has been impaled by tacks and staples, tied with tape, and bludgeoned by a school desk.

Alyssa: (Giggles)

Michael: I’m glad we didn’t have to fight that one, come on, I can’t breathe.

*They all walk into a room, and as soon as they are in it, flames shoot up in the doorways.*

Sarah: Ohh! Look, purple flames!

Isabella: A piece of paper!

Isabella: (reads it)

Isabella: A riddle! One of us will help you get there, another will help you get back, two of us are poison, and two of us are alcohol.

Dionne and Alyssa: (Smirk)

Dionne, (Grinning evilly): Oh! Oh! I read this in the book, the biggest bottle has the stuff to get through the flame in it!

Isabella: Okay… (gives the bottle to Richard)

Richard: Chugs.

Brett: Chug! Chug! Chug!

Richard: I feel funny….

Richard: (Explodes)

Dionne: (Laughs wickedly)

Alyssa: (Giggles bizarrely)

Isabella: Hey. (Scolds Dionne)

Michael: (Snatches the smallest bottle, pouring it on the purple flame.)

Purple Flame: (Dies)

Everyone: (Piles into the room)

*There was already someone there, it wasn’t Professor Ireland, it wasn’t even She-who-must-not-be-named. It was the grade two-ers.*

Little kid 1: The mold. I can see it in the mirror! I'm handing it over to my master, she is thanking me.

Little kid 2: But how do we get it?

Little kid 3: Master, help us!

*And to Harry’s Michael’s horror, a voice answered, and the voice seemed to come from Little Kid 3 himself*

“Use theee chiildd.”

Little kid 2: Yessss. Dickenson, come here.

Michael: (Causally walk over)

Little kid 1: What do you see in the mirror-of-all-telling-coolness?

Michael: I see… I see… I see the school on fire!

Little kid 3’s strange voice thing: It lieeesss.

*Suddenly, Dionne, the oh-so-cool-chosen-one does a flying karate kick and twacks the head off of Little kid 1.*

*Janet follows, pulling off one of her hupketo moves, knocking out Little kid 2 cold.

Little kid 3: Muhaha! (Takes off his turban, where a big ugly face sits) SEIZE THE THING.

Sarah: Omigosh! It’s She-who-must-not-be-named!

Little kid 3: (Clamps hand’s around Michael’s jugular)

*Michael’s heart-shaped scar feels like it about to rip from his head*

Michael: (Screams)

Alyssa: ( Walks up and slaps She-who-must-not-be-named )

She-who-must-not-be-named: (Notices blisters where Alyssa slapped, rips her hands off Michael’s neck, notices that they are blistering too.)

She-who-must-not-be-named: AGH! You two children must have evilness within your blood, for that is the only thing that can kill me, the touch of an evil child! Ha, your evil is not strong enough, for I only suffered blisters!

Dionne: (Walks up, pokes She-who-must-not-be-named on the finger)

She-who-must-not-be-named: (Starts on fire, crumbles, blows away.)

Everyone: (Stares)

*Suddenly, everyone faints!*

Dionne: Ughh. Am I hung over?

*Everyone lies in the hospital wing*

Isabella: Omg, I think my leg’s broken, omg, I’m coming down with a disease, Omgomgomg! I'm going to die, ouch! My tummy hurts, omg, I need my mom.

Brett: Owie. I'm in pain.

Janet: Omg, I kicked a 2^nd grader!

Sarah: *Snore*

Alyssa: Whoa, did I get drunk last night?

Michael: (Talks to a big man with a long white beard.)

Dionne: (Stands up) The mystery of the forgotten mold is still a mystery, and shall forever remain so.

 The End