I repute the lies I tell myself
I'm entering the same old song & dance
Who am I trying to fool?
I'm too fat to be liked
I'm too fat to be loved
I'm too fat to love myself
As I reach for the blade
The voices whisper, "It's the fix you need"
I watch the blood spill from the cuts
Red as crimson it flows
What a relief......the pain is purged
As this red river grows & grows.......
I retire my blade and tend the wounds
I'm sure the urge will hit again soon
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
2004
As it flies so magnificently, high above
Each of it's feathers are symbols of love
If in comes rough weather
And you find a dove's feather
That's when you know
Someone, somewhere has no more love
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
1999
Why do we bother
What do we gain
The heart is like the sky before a storm
Open, trustworthy and calm
Then comes the rain
The earth becomes sodden
The rain soon ends..........
Until another storm crops up again
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
1999
I invite you to come in and know my pain
Feel just a hint of the torment that vexes me
I'm drowning among the lovers and the loved
They have a love that will never wane
But I am unworthy of such pleasure
For I am neither the lover or the loved
Do I deserve this? Is it my fault?
Open the wounds
Pour in the salt
The stinging rips my soul apart
For once again,
I suffer the misery of a broken heart
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
2005
It slowly displaces me from my soul
This is my pure, holy hell
A malady I know all too well
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
2002
Why all the irrepressible emotion?
Why cave into my feelings?
After all, nothing is ever meant to be
Numb to the slashes made by the knife
I look into the dank fog
I see no promise
Illusions suck the soul from it's life
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
2004
That way, you can keep your eye on me
You can take me out whenever you want
Pull my string, take me for a walk
Maybe even make me sing
If I do what you say
I get to stay out and play
So I try to behave and not make you mad
Because I know you'll put me back......
........back into that box if I'm bad
It's easier to turn me off and put me away
That way you know I'm okay
"You've been a bad girl!"
"Back into the box you go!"
But why? What did I do? What did I say?
Is it really better this way?
LM Horvath
*All Rights Reserved
2008