The wagon stops at the donut shop and ten minutes later the rear doors open at the station house. "All right, all you perverts out!" the cop yells.

Tom remains seated.

"Tom, come on, you don't want to get the police upset with you," Abby urges. "Besides..." she whispers something in his ear so Joannie can't overhear.

Tom smiles and exits the van.

Joannie looks at her father and then at Abby. ~I do not want to know. I so don't want to even think about it.~

Meanwhile back at home. Nancy starts to worry about Joannie, her Dad and Abby. ~The note said they'd be back by now. What's taking so long?~

At the station house, everyone arrested is lined up for processing. "So who do we call to bail us out of here?" Joannie whines. "'cause I just want to go home and go to sleep, Dad."

"Ok we get one phone call each. I'll call Greg, one of you call David, and one of you call Nancy. That way one of us is bound to reach one of them and if it's Nancy she can keep calling David

"I'll call Nancy," Abby volunteers. "I'm not even going to try to explain to your friend how we came to be arrested in a downtown bathhouse..."

"Ok, and I hear ya." Tom says and then calls Greg.

"Maxwell's Surgical Suite, you slice 'em, we stitch 'em," Greg answers his phone.

"Greg can you come bail Abby, Joannie, and I out of jail."

"You've got to be kidding," Greg says.

"No I'm not kidding. Do I sound like I'm kidding?"

"I'll be right down. And you can spend the time coming up with a good story about why your family has a thing for the station house."

Meanwhile, Abby dials the house, hoping Nancy's home already.

Nancy picks up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Nancy? Look, we're going to be out a little later than we planned. I'm not sure when we'll get home--it depends on when we can make bail," Abby says.

"Did you say bail?" Nancy asks.

"Um, yeah. Look, Joannie's going to try to reach David, but could you try him, too, and ask him to come down here? And no--I don't want you coming down. Remember, Max said you shouldn't drive until next week."

"Sure I'll call him. How did you get arrested?"

"We went to go get Joannie, because she got sick. Though, right now, I think she wishes she'd just taken a cab home."

"Poor Joannie, poor Dad, poor Abby. Want me to send a cake with a file in it?"

"Cute. Just call David. And do not broadcast this around the family, OK? Your father isn't exactly pleased to be here."

"Ok," Nancy soon hangs up with Abby and tries David's but it's busy.

Everyone from the paddy wagon is herded off to holding cells. The guy who tried to pick up Tom the night before approaches him.

"Didn't get lucky last night, so you came back for more?"

"Officer, this man is harassing me." Tom says.

"What's the matter, you only like being harassed when you paid a cover charge?" the cop asks.

Tom grumbles.

The man who was trying to pick Tom up turns to Abby. "I hope the guy's got money, sweetheart, 'cause personality he's lacking."

Abby looks at Tom, who looks ready to spontaneously combust. "He's got personality. You just have to know how to bring it out," she says and gives Tom a kiss to make any of the cops watching envious.

Tom gratefully returns the kiss.

The cops start stamping and hollering their approval. After two minutes, the cops open the cell door and try to decide if they'll need to hose the couple down to get their attention.

"Dad? Dad, I think you're being paged," Joannie says.

Tom and Abby look up and finally notice their audience.

"Come on, the three of you, we'll put you in another cell," one of the cops says. "I've been on the bathhouse beat a long time. I know the difference between the way a woman kisses and the way a man does." He stops Joannie as she leaves the cell. "You really their kid?"

"Yep."

"I always try to tell my wife if she'd just be nicer to me it'd take years off her age," the cop sighs. "Too bad she isn't here to see this."

Tom is very relieved that he won't be sharing a cell with one of the men from the bathhouse. "I owe you one." He says to Abby.

"And I will make you pay," Abby smirks.

"Hey, you two, could you cut the smaltz factor? I'm already feeling sick," Joannie complains.

"Sorry dear." They tone it down a little.

"Look, Dad, I know I'm due a Tom Bradford (TM) lecture, but could it wait until I've stopped throwing up?"

"Yes, when you're feeling better we have a lot to talk about."

"I didn't do anything wrong, Dad. It's not my fault if other people did."

"I didn't say you did but we still need to talk."

Joannie pouts.

A cop comes to the cell. "You the Bradfords? Bail's here."

Tom sighs in relief. "Yes we are."

Greg and David are waiting for them at the desk. Max pulls Tom aside. "You want to explain this, Tom? I heard it was a raid on a bath house, for crying out loud!"

"We were there to pick up Joannie; she had a show there."

"You let your daughter perform in a bath house. Tom, you've been acting strange since you got married," Max worries.

"She wasn't doing anything wrong Max."

David approaches them and tries to keep himself from laughing. "You three ready to go home?"

"More than ready," Joannie says. "Wait--I have to go throw up again," she says and rushes off.

"I suppose we should go get the cars, too, or they won't be there to be gotten by morning," Abby says.

"Yeah you're right. Can you drive the station wagon? I don't want Joannie driving."

"Why don't I take Joannie to your house and look her over," Greg suggests, "and David can take you to pick up your cars."

"Sounds good to me," Abby says, at waits for the men's opinion.

"Ok." David says.

"All right." Tom says.

Joannie comes out of the bathroom and Max takes her home.

"David, you need directions, or do you know how to get to that neighborhood?" Abby asks.

"I need directions." David says.

"I'm glad to hear that," Abby says and gives him directions.

They go and get the cars and soon head home.

At the house, Max checks Joannie over and decides she has a touch of food poisoning. "You'll live. Now, want to tell me what your father was doing in a bath house raid?"

Joannie's about to answer him when one of her siblings walks in.

"Hey Joannie are you ok?" Nancy asks.

"Never eat where you work," Joannie tells her.

"I'll keep that in mind." Nancy turns to Dr. Max. "Fopoisoning?"

"Those sorts of places aren't known for their cuisine. Joannie, couldn't you get a job in a decent joint?" Dr. Max asks.

"Dad hasn't complained yet--he even saw the act," Joannie defends herself.

"Dad is downstairs Dr. Max, maybe you should examine his head."

"I definitely should. He's getting a little strange, isn't he?" Max asks the girls.

Nancy nods in agreement.

"Joannie, tea and toast tonight and tomorrow," Max runs through the usual orders. "After that, another day of light food. And no eating on the job--especially in that place."

He goes downstairs in search of Tom.

Nancy gets Joannie some tea and toast.

"Tom?" Max asks. "Could I talk to you? Alone?"

"No."

"Dad it's ok we can talk later." David leaves.

"David!!" Tom yells.

Abby, who was about to enter the kitchen, hears the yelling and beats a hasty retreat, heading upstairs.

"Max I already told you what happened."

"I can buy your being there to bring Joannie home. But taking Abby to a place like that? She's not old enough to see what goes on there."

"Abby was worried about Joannie she wanted to come with me."

"And since when have you had a problem saying 'no' to people when you thought they weren't right?"

"Greg she's my wife."

"I was there in Chicago. I heard the arguments, Tom. What gives? Why are you bending over backwards not to say no to her? Even your kids are getting worried about you, and I've heard the term 'male menopause' being thrown around."

"I am not bending over backwards not to say no to her."

"Look, Tom, I am your oldest and best friend. I've known you longer than I care to admit, and you're just not acting like yourself. If I didn't know better..."

"What do you want me to do? Ground Joannie for eternity? No I don't like her working there as a matter of fact I hate that she's working there. But it's for her career and she puts on a very good show."

"A year ago you wouldn't have reacted like this," Max prods.

"People change, Greg."

"Is that all it is? Look, Tom, I don't want to hassle you. I'm just worried. We all are."

"Well don't be. I really am all right." Tom assures him.

"All right. If you want to talk..." Max begins to walk out of the room. "Tom, I'm just going to be blunt. You--well, you're not doing anything you wouldn't approve of your kids doing, are you?"

"Of course not Greg."

"Because between your mood swing, your unpredictable behavior, the fact that anytime I try to reach you the kids say you're upstairs with Abby...I know men will do a lot of things to keep up with a younger woman, see it all the time with my patients..."

"I thought you'd be happy that my sex life is going great."

Max stops his accusations for a second, then bursts out laughing. "Now that's the Tom Bradford I know. OK, I'll back off now. But if you ever need to talk--about anything--you know where to find me, OK?"

Tom laughs. "Thanks Greg, you're a good friend."

When Greg leaves the room, Abby enters it. "Well, you ended that conversation in a better mood than you started it," she says.

He takes her in his arms and kisses her. "Yep that I did."

"I like it when you're in a good mood," Abby purrs. "Did you talk to David about staying here when we go away?"

"Yes and he doesn't want to be a babysitter to the kids so I guess Mary will be in charge."

"You sure she's up to it? She still hasn't heard from those med schools."

"Well she is the oldest sibling living at home."

"But if she gets bad news, she won't be in any mood to supervise. Besides, the girls don't listen to her anyway."

"Well I suppose I can ask Greg to check in on them from time to time."

"You really don't trust your sister, do you?"

"I trust her, but I don't trust her not to get the kids in trouble."

"I'm not sure I trust the kids without a real adult in the house. They seem to do a good job of getting into trouble on their own."

"Well do you have any other suggestions?"

"No," Abby sighs. "Except for the one we've been using so far--postponement."

"Uh uh, we're just going to have to trust the kids."

"You'll be on the phone back home every hour, you know."

"Oh no I won't."

"Wanna bet?"

"Not particularly."

Abby laughs.

So does Tom.

Later that night. Elizabeth tries to sneak into the house 20 minutes past curfew.

Joannie is in the kitchen, making herself some tea. "Stop right there, young lady," she says, in her best Tom Bradford imitation.

Elizabeth comes into the kitchen.

"Hi Joannie how are you feeling?"

"Fine," she says, and then in her imitation, "So where were you, and why are you late?"

"I was at a party, and I'm late because I was having too much fun to come home on time."

"Works for me."

Elizabeth smiles. "Dad should take lessons from you."

"Yeah, well if he asks, you've been down here with me the last half hour."

"Thanks Joannie."

"Hey, that's what big sisters are for."

Elizabeth gives her a hug.

"Hey, careful. I'm delicate, ya know."

"Sorry."

The next day before Joannie leaves Tom calls her into his study.

"What's up, Dad? I'm kinda running late," Joannie says, going for the sympathy vote. "Spent too much time throwing up this morning."

"Joannie if you're still sick I'd rather you stay home. And I want to talk to you about the way things have been between the two of us lately."

"Dad, I can't stay home today. I have a big scene," she says, still trying to avoid the scene with her father.

"Joannie I think I've been pretty fair during all of this. I could've hit the roof and drug you out of there when I saw you there but I didn't."

"I know, Dad. You were wonderful. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks honey, but we still need to talk. The reason I haven't hit the roof is because I know it's for your career. I'm not saying I like it in fact I hate it, but I'm not going to stand in your way."

"Are you feeling OK, Dad?" Joannie asks, worried that her father is being so understanding.

"Yes I'm fine, however, I do want to know why you have ceased confiding me about things. You used to tell me everything."

"'Cause I thought...well, you know, Dad, lately it's hard to talk to you. I used to know what would get you mad and what you'd be happy about, but these past few months, who can tell?"

Tom sighs. "That's funny, because I've been feeling the same way when I try to talk to you."

"Me? I'm just the same irresponsible actress kid you've always known and loved."

Tom chuckles. "Honey I do love you but lately when we talk it winds up turning into a fight and I don't like that."

"You like fighting with Abby," Joannie pouts.

"Joannie that's different."

"Yeah, well, a lot of things you used to like doing with all of us you don't have time for anymore, so we're all doing things on our own. I got a job. So?"

"It's not going to be that way forever."

"Yeah, but we're not going to be kids forever, either."

Tom sighs. "I know."

"Look, Dad. I'm glad you're happy, you're glad I'm working on my career, I don't want to tell you when I'm doing a nude scene or working in a bath house and you really probably don't want to know, so can we just agree that we love each other and let it go at that?"

"Only if that will be good enough for you."

"For the meantime, yeah, I can handle that. Um, love you and all that, Dad, but I've gotta run!" Joannie takes off and goes up the stairs two at a time.

"Well it was a start." Tom says to himself.

The paper lands with a thump at the front door and Abby hurries past him to pick it up. "Morning," she calls as she passes the study door with the paper in her hands.

"Morning." He says distractedly.

Abby hurries up the stairs with the paper, relieved that Tom's got something to distract him.

Nancy finishes taking a shower, gets dressed and goes outside to check on Sam. She sees that Nicholas is already tending to him so she goes inside to get some coffee.

Abby comes in with the newspaper and begins to bury it in the kitchen garbage.

"Everything ok?" Nancy asks Abby.

"Oh. Um, sure, fine. Everything's fine. Hey, don't forget we're going shopping today. I'll come back here and pick you up, OK?"

"Ok."

Abby finishes burying the paper and, for good measure, dumps the coffee grounds on top. "If your father asks, you di't see this."

"That bad eh?"

Abby nods. "He'll see it at work, but Donna gets paid to put up with his screaming. We don't."

Nancy laughs.

Abby looks at her watch. "I'm late. Well, I'll see you about a quarter to two. Get some rest before then so we can shop until your father's charge accounts drop."

"Will do." Nancy smiles.

Abby grabs her bag and keys and hurries past the study, throwing her husband a quick kiss and a good-bye.

"Who was that masked woman?" Tom says out loud but smiles from the kiss.

When Tom gets to work, Donna hands him his messages, his cup of coffee, and gives him a run down on the filing, typing, and gossiping she's done since he left yesterday, and stands there, looking at him strangely.

"What is it this time?"

"What? Nothing, sir. Nothing at all. Not a thing."

"Donna!!"

"What?"

"I can tell when something is up. If you won't tell me I'll go ask Thelma in accounting."

"There's nothing up," Donna tries to brave her way through this, knowing Thelma never hands out gossip without getting gossip in return, and very grateful Tom still hasn't noticed that she didn't bring in the morning papers.

"Fine don't tell me but can you please bring in the morning paper. My kids lost my copy again."

"Um...we didn't get one here either. Problems at the printers. Yeah, that's it. Sorry."

"Hogwash!! Now bring me a paper!!"

Donna goes and gets him a newspaper. "Just do me a favor and don't open it until I get to Kansas, OK?" she says and rushes out of the office.

Tom opens the paper and reads it. "Oh my, oh my."

Donna sits at her desk cringing. ~Well, so far not too bad. I mean, the window in his office is still intact. Maybe he's only read part of the paper, though, and not the rest of it...~

Suddenly Donna hears a scream of pure agony coming from Tom's office.

"I told him not to read the paper," she mutters to herself, trying to figure out if her boss will have her call the publisher's office or if he'll storm up there in person, and if anyone within reach would be interested in betting on it.

Tom marches straight up to Elliot's office and barges in. "How could you let them print this!!"

Elliot stares at Tom. "I told you to go home and work things out with your wife, didn't I? This," he points to the newspaper, "is not what I had in mind. And they printed it because it happened. You didn't want it printed, you shouldn't have been there."

"I was there to bring Joannie home she was sick!!"

"Next time tell her to take a cab," Elliot says. "You have a reputation to uphold--the paper has a reputation to uphold. First you go out with a boy and claim it's your wife--and I've seen your wife, and she doesn't look like a boy at all, then your daughter is performing at some bath house. Really, Tom, what's happened to your family?"

"What my daughter or the rest of my family does is none of your business."

"You're right. Your daughter's act wouldn't have made it into the paper--well, maybe a review in the Arts section at most. But what you do is my business. Your picture is printed at the top of your column, and when people see you they think, 'There's Tom Bradford, the man who writes for the Register'."

"So print a retraction!! Saying why I was really there!!"

"Or you could write a column about it. It certainly would be more entertaining than the hearts and flowers nonsense we've had to wade through these past few weeks."

Tom glares at him. "No, I want a retraction, this column is damaging to my reputation and I want it retracted."

"What's so damaging? It says you were there and that you were taken down to the stationhouse. You were, weren't you? OK, so it doesn't mention your wife and daughter--but you said you didn't want them made part of your public life. It doesn't try to claim that you were doing anything wrong at that place."

"But people will make that assumption. And you're right it's best if Abby and Joannie aren't mentioned."

"But you still want a retraction saying that your child was there and that's why you went?"

Tom sighs. "No this will blow over soon."

"And you have my support," Elliot assures him, "One thousand percent."

Tom looks at him warily.

"Now, what are you doing in the office at all? I thought you were going to take some time off, spend it with your wife," Elliot moves on to the 'I may be your publisher, but I'm your friend' part of the meeting.

"Actually I needed to discuss that with you. Abby's vacation time is different so I figured I'd work part time until it came up and then take the rest when she's off."

"That's fine. Just get a little ahead so we have something to print when you take off, or we'll have to run your Christmas column for a whole week."

"Will do."

When Tom leaves the publisher's office, he's accosted by the social editor. "I read about you this morning," she tsk-tsks. "And you have such a lovely wife, from what I saw at the governor's fundraising ball."

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Does your husband know about your two hour lunches at the Holiday Inn with that one guy yet?"

"Ummm... Nice talking to you, Tom. We should do this more often," she says, backing away from him.

Tom smiles and returns to his office.

"You're smiling," Donna notices. "You worry me when you're smiling."

Tom just continues to smile and work on his column.

"I hate it when bosses think they can hide anything..." Donna mutters at Tom's closed door.

By 1:40pm Nancy is ready and waiting for Abby to come home.

Five minutes later Abby breezes in, drops her books on the table, and opens the fridge. "Just let me grab something quick, and then we'll go, OK?"

"Ok, I'll go check on Sam." She goes outside and checks on Sam. He's got food and water and he's napping so she goes back inside.

When she comes back in Abby's rinsing off her dishes. "OK, let's go. Your father will be in a mood when he comes home, so I don't want to keep him waiting too long. Which store should we hit first?"

"The place we went before." Nancy says. "And maybe Donna will have him calmed down by then. Wait what am I saying. Donna's a great secretary but she's not a miracle worker."

"Maybe she keeps a supply of tranquilizers to slip in his coffee," Abby says as they get into her car and start to drive. When they get to the store, she turns Nancy loose. "Take advantage of it, your father won't always be so happy to send you out partying and dressed to kill."

"Yeah I know." Nancy says and goes to look for a good partying dress.

Abby goes to look for some clothes to take on her much-postponed honeymoon. She grabs a handful of hangers and checks on Nancy. "Find anything?"

"Yeah what do you think of this one?" Nancy shows her one of the dresses.

Abby whistles. "Your father will have a heart attack, but the guys will love it."

"Thanks Abby." She goes to try it on.

Abby smiles and goes to try on the clothes she picked out. She comes out of the dressing room to use the full length mirror, uncertain about her outfit.

Nancy comes out in her outfit. "It looks great Abby." She says when she finds Abby looking in the mirror.

"I'm not sure..." Abby looks at herself and the man-tailored suit. "I'm afraid your father wouldn't like it."

"Oh yeah, best not to wear this one til things calm down a bit."

"Oh, well," Abby sighs and unbuttons the jacket. "But I refuse to wear ruffles and lace."

"Why not? You'd look beautiful in ruffles and lace. You'd drive Dad crazy."

Abby narrows her eyes in thought. "Maybe you're right..." She goes back into the dressing room and comes out in a straight, tailored, utterly ruffle- and lace- less dress.

"Oh he's going to love that one." ~I wonder what's gotten into them lately. They're acting like newlyweds on their honeymoon again.~ Nancy ponders glad that it no longer bothers her and hoping that none of her other siblings are bothered by it. "But where's the ruffles and lace?"

"Nancy, there's more places to wear ruffles and lace than on your dress," Abby smirks. "Hey, maybe I will get the suit," she adds in an undertone. "If he doesn't like it, at least he'll like getting it off..."

Nancy is too stunned to say anything. Sure it didn't bother her, she was happy for them, she didn't want details.

Abby doesn't notice Nancy's reaction, not having even realized that Nancy overheard her. She wanders off, looking for more honeymoon-type clothing, and notices finally that Nancy is standing in place, a shocked look on her face. "Nancy? You OK?"

"Um yeah I'm fine Abby."

"OK," Abby says, unconvinced. "Your shoulder holding up OK?"

"Yeah."

"Are you getting tired or something?"

"No I'm not tired. Just not used to hearing certain things about my father."

Abby thinks for a minute, then realizes what Nancy overheard. "Oops. Sorry."

"It's ok."

"So, where are you going to wear that dress? New Year's Eve?" Abby changes the subject.

"Yes or on my date with Ray next Friday."

"You wear that on a date," Abby says, "and you won't get home before curfew."

"You're right. It's too soon in our relationship, for, er um nevermind."

"I'm glad to hear that--makes me less worried about leaving you alone."

"Leaving me alone? Are you and Dad going away?" ~Party!! Party!!~

"He didn't say anything?" Abby says, confused. "Maybe he only spoke to David...He got some time off, and I have winter break, so we thought we'd go away for a few days. Dr. Max will come and check on you, and Mary will be in the house, and you can always call David if any of you need help."

"Well he did say he was calling a family meeting after dinner. Maybe that's what the meeting is about. And it's not necessary for Dr. Max to check on us."

"But if no adult checks on you, your father will be on the phone checking on you every hour on the hour. And that isn't how I plan to spend my honeymoon," Abby says, wisely keeping any of her plans to herself.

"Ok I'll humor Dad."

"Thank you. So--you have everything you want, or do we have more shopping to do?"

"I have everything but I was thinking of buying Sam a toy or something."

"Good idea. I'm glad we kept him," Abby says, gathering what she's buying. "I've got to get myself together and do Christmas shopping. I thought I was smart and did most of it this summer--go know my list would expand so much."

Nancy laughs. "Yeah." There's a pause. "Oh no I haven't done any of my Christmas shopping yet."

"The clock's ticking, Nancy," Abby jokes. "Well, at least that should keep you busy while your dad and I are away."

"Yeah really." They make their purchases and then go and buy a toy for Sam.

Afterwards they go home, and Abby goes looking for Tom. "So, how'd it go at work today?" she asks, assuming that someone would have teased him or, worse, that he'd have gotten a hold of a newspaper.

Tom shows her the paper he brought home. "And by the way. Elliot approved my vacation plans."

Abby kisses him. "One obstacle down, 7 more to go. That's all you and Elliot discussed?"

"No we discussed the article too." He kisses her.

"You treated him to a lunch of humble pie?"

"No not exactly. I let him have it and then he calmed me down."

"I thought calming you down was my job."

Tom smiles. "It is dear."

"Humph. I didn't know you hadn't told the kids we were going away."

"I'm telling them after dinner, why?"

"I said something to Nancy today and she didn't know. Guess I blew protocol."

"Oh well." Tom kisses her.

"Hold that thought," Abby says, giving him a quick kiss. "I have to check on dinner, then we have to tell the kids we're going. And then we can start doing trial runs for this honeymoon thing."

Tom just smiles.

Abby go to finish supervising dinner and the setting of the table, and then goes to call everyone to dinner. Afterwards, Tom convenes the family meeting he's called.

"So Dad why are we having another meeting?" Elizabeth asks thinking it will be boring.

"I'm glad you asked that dear. Abby and I are finally going away on our honeymoon."

"Cool." Tommy says winking at Nancy and Elizabeth.

Nancy and Elizabeth wink back.

"That's great, Dad," Joannie says. ~Party! Party!~

~Yes!! Mary will let us get away with everything.~ "Good choice Dad, Mary is very responsible." Nancy says.

"Dr. Max will also come by and check up on you," Abby tells them.

Elizabeth groans.

"It's either that young lady or I call home every hour."

"Dr. Max checking on us is fine." Elizabeth says quickly.

"And we'll still call often," Abby warns. "And I'm not so old I can't recognize the sounds of a party in the background

"A party?" Nancy laughs. "Us?"

"We didn't party while you were in Chicago," Joannie says, trying to build on that trust thing she and her father have going.

"No you didn't and I'm very proud of you."

"We'll behave, Dad," Joannie promises. ~Yeah. Behave badly.~

~We'll behave, I think not.~ Nancy smiles at Tom.

Tom smiles back. ~Why is she smiling at me like that?~

"You believe them?" Abby whispers to Tom out the side of her mouth.

"No not really but I'm going to try trusting them anyway."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Tom whispers in her ear. "Now that we've broken the news to them let's go upstairs and practice for our honeymoon some more."

"You're going to shock the kids, taking me upstairs so often," Abby laughs.

"Well they have to learn that life is full of shocks." Tom says.

Abby laughs and says goodnight to the kids.

The kids start plotting.