Nancy drives them to the place where they would always hang out years ago when they wanted to escape the family and the rest of the world.
"Remember when Dad first said he and Abby were getting married?" Joannie asks.
"Yeah I remember. Liz freaked out."
"But the rest of us were kind of happy. Thought it would be good for Dad."
Nancy's about to say it is good for their Dad but doesn't. "Do you think he's happy?"
"If he is, it sure doesn't show. I thought he wouldn't yell as much, but either he's yelling or he's sulking all the time now."
"Is he still going to therapy?"
"I don't think so. He seems to be home all the time, especially since Abby gave in and gave up working."
"Hmm, why couldn't he have been home more when she was working?"
"Because then he would have had to spend time with us. That's woman's work."
"Come to think of it he does seem to ask Abby to handle everything."
"And the little woman obeys."
"Not all the time."
"When not?"
Nancy ponders this. "Well I guess all the time but he does things for her too."
"Such as what? Not cooking?"
"Hey that is crucial." Nancy says.
"They way Abby cooks I'm not so sure I wouldn't rather take my chances with Dad."
"It could be Tommy cooking every night."
"Ow--you really know how to hurt a girl."
"Yeah but you love me anyway."
"True. So what does Dad do for Abby. Besides the obvious, I mean."
Nancy tells Joannie everything she remembers their father doing for Abby.
Which takes about 12.6 seconds.
"What can I tell you I don't remember much."
"So much for her dragging Dad into the 20th century--he's dragged her back into the past."
"Wonderful." Nancy sighs.
"I can understand Dad--I mean, if you're a man, why not live in the past? But what really gets to me is Abby. Talking like she's one of us, and the second she gets a husband, boom--she's little Mrs. Betty Crocker, only without the talent."
"There's nothing wrong with her cooking."
"Oh, I forgot--you're only eating rabbit food, so what would you know?"
"A lot more than people give me credit for. I've eaten her cooking before and it's pretty good."
"I didn't notice you eating any of her amazing 2 inch high angel cake this morning."
"I have to watch my figure."
"The rest of us just have to watch out for our lives."
"Has anyone offered to help her learn to cook better?"
"I don't think so. She's relying on cookbooks. Old cookbooks. I mean, those things are moldier than Dad."
"Oh Geez."
"Pretty scary."
Nancy nods. "But there must be something that can be done."
"Ask Dad to divorce her and marry Julia Child?"
Nancy shakes her head no.
"Your turn to make a suggestion."
"You won't like it."
"Which is?"
"Talk things out with Abby."
"That'll keep her from burning the roast?"
"Well no but it will relieve some of the tension."
"If I had a decent meal for a change it would relieve a lot of the tension."
"She'll get better."
"If we don't drop dead first."
"You won't drop dead."
"The way she makes turkey, you'd swear she's a vegetarian."
Nancy's about to say something when they hear the sounds of someone waking up near the bushes.
"Oh, great," Joannie whispers, "just what we need this morning. Some creep who'll probably flash us. Let's get out of here."
"Let's." They get in the car and leave and then the person comes out.
"Good they didn't see me." Kenny P. Says to himself. ~I am not moving.~
In the car: "Maybe you could teach Abby to cook. Not that you're some hotshot chef," Joannie adds, "but at least you don't turn everything into a burnt offering."
"I don't think she'd let me but I can offer." She glances in the rear view mirror and then hits the brakes, turns around and heads back to where they were. She then puts it in park and turns off the engine. "Why aren't I surprised." She gets out of the car and grabs Kenny before he can run. "What's going on Kenny?"
"I'm going to live here," Kenny says. "And you can't stop me."
Nancy kneels down beside him. "Honey listen to me. You're parents are probably scared out of their minds right now you have to go home."
"They don't care about me. They just think I'm a troublemaker."
"They don't think that at all, and besides how will you make a living?"
"I can live on nuts and berries, and lots of people throw clothes out their car windows over on Lovers' Lane."
"Yeah but nuts and berries get old after awhile."
"People leave over food after picnics, too."
"But it's ant infested."
"Ants are crunchy."
"Joannie!!"
"What? When the kid's right, he's right. Of course, none of his friends will want to come over if he's serving ants, but..."
"I'll make new friends who like ants."
"If you're already going to the trouble of making new friends, why not do it where your parents are moving? Then you don't have to eat ants while you do it."
"Hmm." Kenny says. "But I don't want to leave my old friends."
"They can come visit."
"Can Nicholas?"
"If Dad and Abby say he can."
"Ok I'll go home."
"Wise choice." Nancy says.
"I'm sure everyone's parents will be happier," Joannie adds.
They take him home and then head to their own house.
As they come in, Abby is in Tom's study getting her books together. "I was just leaving," she says. "I'll be out of your way in a minute. By the way, Nancy," she adds, "I saw Noah yesterday. He sounds pretty lonely."
"Really, does that mean he's coming over or that he hopes I'll come over."
"Why don't you go over to him? Keep him on his toes."
"Good idea." She goes to get ready.
"Hey, I thought you were going to talk to her," Joannie hisses at Nancy.
"What? Joannie I'm the one that suggested you talk to her."
"Her cooking," Joannie reminds her sister.
Nancy sighs and goes downstairs. "Hey Abby can I help you with dinner tonight?"
"I'm not even sure if I'll be home tonight," Abby says. "If I'm not, I'd appreciate you helping get dinner on the table. If I am, I'll cook it myself--you have better things to do, I'm sure."
"I can help either way it's really no problem."
"Thanks, but I can manage it. I'm beginning to get the hang of this cooking for a crowd."
"That's good, I'm going to go and see Noah now." ~Ok, now it's Joannie or someone else's turn to talk to her.~
Joannie watches Nancy leave, followed by Abby. She goes to Tom and Abby's room to use the phone and dials her grandparents.
Paul answers the phone. "Hello."
"Grandpa, please--don't hang up on me," Joannie begs.
"I won't hang up did you want to speak to Gert?"
"No, I think I want to speak to you. If I came down, would you take me out for the day, like you used to when I was little?"
He's about to say no that he isn't ready but detects the sadness in her voice and can no longer keep up his tough exterior. "We'll go anywhere you want to."
"I'll be there as soon as I can lie my way out of this prison."
"What did I tell you about lying young lady?" He says in a firm but gentle tone.
"Same thing Mom always told me. But she's not here and I need to sneak out. If Mom were here, I wouldn't need to sneak away."
"You don't have to sneak out. You just tell your father that you're coming to visit us."
"Dad would freak. He's angry enough at me."
"Do you want me or Gertie to talk to him and smooth things over?"
"You'd talk to him for me?"
"You bet I will."
"I thought you weren't talking to Dad, at least not since he and Abby...I mean..."
"I think I can make an exception in this case."
"No one's home right now. Maybe I just leave a note that I'll be back late, and then if I need someone to explain, you could. I don't want to get you into trouble, too."
He sighs. "Ok, do you need bus fare?"
"I was planning to take the station wagon. Bad idea, huh?"
"Very bad idea. I'll have a ticket waiting for you."
"I love you, Grandpa."
"I love you too honey." After hanging up with her he and Gertie purchase a bus ticket and have it waiting for Joannie and then get the house ready for her. Gertie doesn't know that Tom and Abby don't know yet.
Joannie leaves a note in one of Abby's schoolbooks saying that she'll be out late, then heads over to the bus terminal and down to her grandparents.
Meanwhile at Noah's house.
"I know it's not til tomorrow but I didn't want to wait any longer." He says as he kisses her and wishes her happy birthday.
"You remembered." She teases him.
"Of course I remembered." He hands her the gift he had gotten her. "But you can't open it yet. First you have to eat your cake." He brings out a cupcake with a candle on it and lights it.
She makes a wish and blows the candle out but has him help her eat it. "Now can I open it?"
"Sure."
She opens it and takes out a very beautiful necklace with a locket on it. She opens it up and finds a picture of her and Noah in it and then reads the inscription and then gives him the best kiss she's ever given him.
Paul and Gertie are waiting for Joannie when the bus arrives.
Joannie runs to them and cries instead of saying hello.
They hug her and try to get her calm.
"Can I move down here?"
"Why don't we discuss it at home." Gertie says and exchanges a worried glance with Paul.
"Home..." Joannie says. "Nice thing to have..."
They go back to the house and help get Joannie settled.
"Ok what's going on?" Gertie asks. "What happened?"
"Do you know what it's like to feel like you can't live in your own home?"
"Who is making you feel that way?" Paul asks.
"You of all people should know that, Grandpa."
"Abby?" He starts to anger.
"Well, her and the way Dad treats her."
"How do you mean?" Gertie asks.
"Better yet--I'll show you." She reaches into her bag and brings out what was left of the cake Abby had baked the night before. "She uses Mom's recipes."
Paul tries some and makes a face.
"Dad loves it," Joannie says. "Or at least he says so every time she thinks about going back to work."
"Honey that is something that your father and Abby have to work out. You shouldn't let it get to you."
"I wouldn't if I didn't have to eat the results."
"It looks to me that Abby just needs some help with cooking."
"Not you, too...We were doing fine with the cooking before she came along. We don't need her taking over the kitchen. she can learn to cook when she retires. I'll even send her and Dad for lessons--in about 20 years."
"Sounds like a good idea to me." Paul says.
"So what do I do in the meantime. You have no idea what it's like at home, her around all the time, just sitting in the kitchen, so proud of what she calls cooking, dumping the vacuum cleaner bag out on the rug..."
"I think you should talk to her and get things ironed out." Gertie says.
"What exactly am I supposed to tell her? Besides, she never wants to talk to me; she's either shushing us all for the sake of her precious cakes or locked in the bedroom with Dad."
"You can stay here as long as you want." Paul says.
"Thanks, Grandpa. Maybe through the weekend? And you'll talk to Dad?"
"Of course I will."
"Paul, can I talk to you? Alone?" Gertie asks.
"Sure." They go to be alone.
"Why are you encouraging her?" Gertie demands.
"Gert you heard her, how awful things are in that house."
"Awful? Just because Abby can't cook? I didn't know how to cook when you married me, either. The reason Joan was such a good cook was self-defense."
"Abby also won't give her the time of day."
"How would you know that, you old fool. It's not like you've ever even met Abby."
"Gertie you saw how upset she is. There has to be more to this than Abby's cooking."
"With Joannie? She'd make a deathbed scene out of a hangnail."
"Now Gert."
"If you think it's something more, you try to find out, but don't go encouraging her to run away because of one bad cake--OK, one inedible cake."
"It sounds to me like it's more than one cake."
"So we let her live here until she finds some boy and gets married?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then, go find out. And don't get all tangled up in how much you've been neglecting your grandchildren while Abby's been there for them. Even if she isn't the kind of housekeeper Joan was."
Paul grumbles and then goes to talk to Joannie.
"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" Joannie asks. "Grandma doesn't believe me."
"You're not in trouble, but I do get a feeling that there's something you're leaving out."
"Maybe. I don't know. I guess I'm kind of confused."
"About what?"
"About everything. Sometimes I'm not even sure why I don't like Abby, or if it's her I don't like. Maybe it's Dad."
"Or maybe you're mad at them because your mom isn't there." He says.
"I was, but I don't think that's it. It's almost--well, it's almost like they tricked us into going along with them getting married, you know?"
"How did they do that?"
"You know what's funny? I was the one who was pushing the most for them to get married. I wanted Dad to be happy, and Abby--well, she was cool, and she knew what she wanted from life. She had a career, she was going to school, she knew the number of the pizza place by heart. But since they got married, they fight all the time and she's stopped working, she's dropped some of her classes, and instead of take out we get garbage masquerading as food."
"A lot of people don't know how to cook when they first get married. And do you know why she quit her job and cut down on her classes?"
"Taking care of us was too much for her. If she'd have asked us, we should have taken care of ourselves. The way she's going, we'll never get Dad into the 20th century--at least not until after the 21st."
Paul sighs not knowing what to say.
Joannie thinks over what she's let spill out. "Oh, wow--it sounds like I'm jealous of Dad, doesn't it?"
"Just a little bit." Paul says.
"That's sick."
"You are not sick." He protests.
"I really need to think about this," Joannie says. "Maybe the Drama department's getting to me... Nah...."
"You take all the time you need."
"Every summer the San Francisco Rep runs an internship. I'm going to apply. If I get it, can I stay here?"
"Of course you can."
"Before I go and have a long think about this, can I have that day of fun?"
"You sure can where do you want to go?"
"Miniature golf?"
"Ok." He goes to get ready for their outing.
"Just don't feed me so much junk food I get sick, OK? I've got to get home before Nancy's birthday."
"That's right she'll be 19 tomorrow." He ponders and then says. "Don't worry I'll be good."
"Where's the fun in that, Grandpa?" Joannie teases. "How about just cautiously bad?"
"Ok but don't tell Gert." He says knowing full well that his wife is behind him.
"I won't," Joannie says, and smiles at her grandmother.
Gertie smiles back.
At the end of the day, full of cotton candy, ice cream, hot dogs, and other junk food, Joannie says goodbye to her grandparents. "I'll let you know about that internship."
They hug her.
"You do that and call us as soon as you hear." Gertie says.
"Is it OK if I call you even before that?"
"Of course it is." Paul says.
Joannie gives them each a hug and then gets on the bus.
They keep waving until the bus pulls out and slowly disappears from sight.