Part 1

A few days and three different medications later in the psychologists office.

"I want out of here. I'll deal with this illness without the medication. I've had it." Nancy paces.

"Nancy I know that it's rough but we will find one that's right for you."

"When!! Huh tell me that?! You people just keep experimenting and I'm the one who has to suffer the consequences!! The hell with this!!"

"Nancy calm down."

"No I will not calm down!! And I'm leaving today!!"

"I'm sorry but I can't allow that."

She glares at him, leaves the office, and goes to her room after checking and finding out all the doors leading out of there are locked. He calls the psychiatrist and tells him to scratch one more medication off the list.

"Look we have to find the one that's right for her. I have a feeling that her irritability isn't just a result of today's meds."

"We're doing the best we can. If it were up to me we would have found it on the first day of testing." The psychiatrist says.

Meanwhile in Nancy's room. One of the nurses comes in.

"You have a visitor." She tells her.

"Whoever it is tell them to go away I don't want to see anyone." Nancy grouses.

"Nancy." The nurse begins.

"Tell them to go away!!"

"Ok." The nurse remains calm due to her professionalism and experience with dealing with reactions like this. She approaches the family member. "She's very irritable today because of the medication and she doesn't want to see anyone. I'm sure she'll be better off tomorrow."

Abby sighs. "One kid or the other is always irritable and doesn't want to see someone. So do I treat her like a special case or do what I always do and just barge on in?"

"Well I've been on this ward for three years now and nine times out of ten when a patient insists on being alone they don't really want to be alone." The nurse says.

"And nine times out of ten, a Bradford means the same thing, so I'll go take my chances." Abby walks into Nancy's room. "Hey there--how are you doing?"

"I want to go home and they won't let me."

"They'll let you," Abby corrects her, "but only once they find the right medication."

"I don't need medication, and I don't need any more experiences done on me. I'll deal with it without medication."

"If it were one of your brothers or sisters in the hospital for something, would you tell them to go home without the proper treatment?"

"No."

"Well, then, take your own advice."

"Ok I will." She sighs. "But I'm so angry right now."

"About?" Abby asks.

"This whole illness." Nancy says not even realizing that it's the medication making her feel this way.

"Being sick just is. No point in being angry about it," Abby says.

"Well I have to be angry at something."

"Why?"

Nancy ponders this and then shakes her head. "I don't know."

"Well, then?"

"Stop being angry Nancy when there's nothing to be angry about."

"If you insist," Abby pretends to sigh. "Far be it from me to argue with you on that one."

The feelings of anger stay with her but she combats them and actually manages a smile.

"You know, that looks much better on you. And it's less likely to make your face wrinkle."

"That's for sure and Abby thank you."

Abby gives Nancy a hug. "I have to get class now. But if you need to talk, I'll be home later."

Nancy hugs her back. "Thanks Abby, and don't work too hard ok."

"I always do. But at least I enjoy it."

"Yeah." There's a short pause. "Do you think Dad will come see me today?"

"Oh, sure, I think he will," Abby says, not at all sure of it, not really having spoken to Tom about much of anything during their current truce.

"Good." Nancy says.

Later Tom stops by after his counseling session. "Hi, I am here to see Nancy Bradford."

"Sure." The nurse recognizes him. She leads him to Nancy's room.

"Hi Dad." Nancy hugs him.

"Hi Honey, how are you doing?"

"Better than earlier. I sure wish they'd find the right meds for me. How are you doing?"

"Don't worry about me, I am fine." he says.

"If I asked you not to worry about me. You'd do it anyway right?" Nancy says.

"That's different. Fathers are supposed to worry." Tom smiles.

She smiles back. "I love you Dad, and I'm sorry."

"I love you too but I am the one that is sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who was going to do something stupid."

"Because if I had really listened instead of yelling. Maybe you wouldn't be in here."

"Dad I was born with it I would've wound up in here sooner or later."

"Maybe but then maybe not," he says.

"Yeah, I wish things could've been different. Is Joannie still keeping to herself?"

"Yes, what happened between you two anyway? Or is that a secret between sisters."

"I don't know, things are seeming to get better but it's still not the same. It all started that night when I took Abby's car to get her. I think things would have turned out much better if I had come upstairs and told you so you could pick her up, but I was so worried about her."

"Well I can't argue with that, but give it time, things will blow over."

"Yeah, hey Dad can you or can you ask someone to bring my diary? Joannie said she would or get someone to bring it. If Mary isn't too busy."

"OK, 1 diary coming up. Anything else?"

"They found out that Noah isn't really my cousin and now they won't let him visit."

"Is that a hint to see if I can pull a few strings?"

"Please Dad."

"You really like him that much?"

"Yeah he's been through some of the things I've been through and he's very nice, understanding, patient. He's different than the others."

"OK, I'll see what I can do." Tom goes out and asks to speak with Nancy's Doctor.

"Good to see you Mr. Bradford, what can I do for you? Is Nancy all right?"

"She seems ok, but she might be better if you would let her friend Noah visit her."

"He lied to the nurses."

"I realized that but if he can help Nancy by visiting her, don't you think he deserves another chance?"

"Ok but if he does anything else to arouse suspicion. He's banned from seeing her here."

"Thank you." Tom says

He returns to Nancy and gives her the good news.

Nancy smiles and hugs him. "Thanks Dad."

"You are welcome. I better get home before they send out a search party for me."

"Take care Dad." Nancy says.

Tom leaves and goes home.

Nancy calls Noah and says he can come visit her now.

Moments later at Noah's house. His Dad gives him some money.

"Get her some nice flowers and maybe some candy." His Dad says.

Noah smiles. "Thanks Dad."

"Oh and get a haircut."

"But Dad, it's not that long. You know I don't like it real short."

"I know but you can't blame me for trying. Drive carefully and remember they're testing meds on her so if she's acting different don't take it personally."

"I know." Noah leaves the house and goes to see Nancy.

Meanwhile at the Bradford house.

"Abby, I can't find Dad he's not home yet. Can you sign something for me?" Elizabeth asks. "Parental permission slip."

"Tell me about it; he and I never seem to be in the same place at the same time lately," Abby says. "Permission for what?"

"A field trip. Our history teacher wants to take us to see some of the old ghost towns."

"That sounds like fun." Abby pulls a pen from behind her ear. "Where do I sign, and when are you going?"

"Yeah it will be as long as my friends go also." She shows Abby where to sign. "We go next Tuesday."

"OK," Abby says and signs. "You want tell your father or shall I?"

"I guess whichever one of us sees him first."

"If we wait until we actually see him, you may already be gone."

"Well he can't say no that way." Elizabeth jokes.

"You have a good point there," Abby laughs.

Elizabeth also laughs. "Thank you."

The next day the doctors think they have finally found a medication that works and calls Nancy and her parents in.

"Does this mean I can go home now?" Nancy asks.

"Well not today, we need to watch you for a few more days to see how you do on it." One of them says.

Nancy glances at Tom and Abby wondering why they're being so quiet.

Abby finally gives up waiting for Tom to respond. "How long? One day? Two?"

"If the medication is still holding strong on the third day and there's no adverse side effects then we'll release her. She'll have to come in once a month for a blood test to make sure the medication isn't wearing off or causing problems and she'll still need outpatient therapy."

"That's no problem. Are there any side affects we should watch for, any limitations on her while she's taking the medication?"

"I am sorry, what did you say?" Tom asks.

The doctors repeat what they said so far about the medication.

"That's good news." he says.

The doctor smiles and then answers Abby's question. "Don't let her drive for the first week The only known side effects are extreme dizziness and vomiting but so far she hasn't experienced either, but it would still be best that even if she doesn't and we let her go home no driving or operating any major machinery for one week."

"So much for driving that forklift for David's boss." Nancy jokes.

"And that long-distance tucking job will just have to wait for you," Abby adds.

Nancy laughs.

"The next thing we'd like to discuss is the NA meetings."

"What about them?" Nancy asks becoming a little edgy.

"We've talked it over and we still think it's too soon for you to attend again. Maybe you should wait a few weeks." The doctor says.

"If you can't drive anyway, maybe that's best," Abby tries to put the best light on things.

"Yeah." Nancy says knowing she's not ready to go back there yet unless she gets a different sponsor.

When they leave, Abby whispers to Tom, "What's with you lately?"

"We need to talk." Tom says

"All right. When?"

"Tonight OK for you?"

"I was supposed to go talk to my news student's father tonight..."

"I'll wait up for you."

"I'll be late," Abby warns.

"How late?" he asks wondering.

"I'm not even meeting him until 9, and we'll be at least a few hours."

~Don't assume Bradford...remember what the Doctor said. If you want to know just ask.~ "Wow a few hours you must have a lot to talk about."

Abby begins to count things off on her fingers. "There's social studies and English and civics and maybe even plane geometry." Abby finally realizes why Tom might be asking. "You didn't mind when I spent a long time discussing Tommy with you."

"True, but you didn't have a husband at home; waiting for you."

"So?"

"So...what would his neighbors think?"

"That he's---what do you care what his neighbors think?"

"I don't. Never mind, I am just being old fashioned again." Tom says. ~I will not be jealous.~

"You're cute when you're being stodgy, you know that?"

"Hmmm...if it is cute you want, then do wake me up when you get home." Tom smiles at her.

Abby shakes her head. "Talk about mood swings," she laughs.

Tom laughs "I do need to talk to you about something though; but it can wait until tomorrow."

"Can it wait until tomorrow night?" Abby asks. "I have a test tomorrow night and was planning to go to the library straight from work."

"I guess it can wait until then." he replies.

"Thanks."

"Shall we go home?"

"For a little while, at least."

The next night, after her test and close to midnight, Abby finally pulls into the driveway. She sits in her car a minute, wondering if she's got the strength to deal with whatever it is Tom wants to talk about, but finally decides that she really has no choice, and so goes inside.

Tom has fallen asleep in his chair in the study.

Abby stands in the doorway a few moments, watching him, and then wakes him by caressing his face.

"Oh Hi." Tom says.

"Hi," Abby repeats. "You look wrung out. Maybe we should just head on up to bed."

"I am OK, besides what I have to say won't take long."

"Sounds serious," Abby says, and takes a seat.

"Elliott has ask me to go in his place at a news convention in Washington next week."

"State or D.C.?" Abby asks.

"D.C."

"How long is this conference?"

"A week."

"You're planning on going, aren't you? You've been waiting for a chance to get away by yourself," Abby accuses.

"No, I told Elliot, I couldn't go right now."

"And?" Abby asks, not believing that's the end of the story.

"He asked me to reconsider going. He can't make it because of some health problems he has. I told him, I would talk it over with my family but told him to look for someone else."

"Do you want to go?" Abby says, suspecting he might, or why would he even agree to consider it? Given everything that's been happening these past few months, who wouldn't want a week away?

"It's not a question of wanting to go. But I do feel I owe Elliot since he did give me time off when Nancy was ill."

"Well, I'm not going to play the part of the clinging little wife who won't let you. If you want to go, go. If you don't want to, don't."

"I want you to come with me."

Abby smiles. "I'd like that. But who'd watch the kids? And if I take any more time off of work and school..."

"I know...you can't blame a guy for trying, right?"

Abby laughs. "You? Never. So--are you going to go?"

"As your Dad would say 'Are you sure you can handle this *zoo*?'"

"Nope," Abby jokes. "I'll let all the girls run off with boys, let Tommy install his band in the garage, and let Nicholas start a hamster farm upstairs. Other than that, I should do OK."

Tom laughs "Don't scare me like that."

"Then how should I scare you?"

"Hmmmm...do you have any ideas?" Tom says as he holds her close.

"One or two," Abby says.

"Why don't we finish this conversation upstairs?" he says.

"I thought you'd never ask."

They go upstairs to bed.

Two days later, the medication is still holding up so they decide to release Nancy. The nurse is helping her pack while they wait for Tom and Abby.

"Now that you're no longer a patient of mine as of an hour from now I think I'll stop turning your brother David down." The nurse says.

Nancy smiles. "I think he'd like that."

Gertie walks in. "Your father and Abby are finishing up last minute details with the doctors do you need any help?"

"Yes she does I have to go check on some of my other patients." She hugs Nancy. "If I don't see you before you leave. Take care of yourself."

Nancy returns the hug. "You too."

The nurse leaves while Gertie helps Nancy pack.

"Think he'll fit in the car." Nancy asks her Grandma.

"Yes, but I don't know if Sam will know what to think about him." The both laugh and after the laughter dies down. "Honey are you sure you're ok? You no longer want to exit this world."

"Yes I'm ok and no I don't want to end it all. That was pretty stupid of me in the first place."

"Sure take all the credit. Honey the illness was responsible for that."

"What if the meds stop working and it happens again."

"Then you tell your father or Abby or call me I don't care what time it is and if your Grandfather answers the phone tell the old fool to shut up and put me on the phone."

Nancy smiles. "Ok."

Tom and Abby finish talking to the doctors and an hour or so later take Nancy home.

Sam greets her wagging his tail like there is no problem. Nancy picks him up and hugs and pets him he licks her face. She then greets her siblings.

<insert replies from family members>

A little while later there's a knock on the door. Elizabeth answers it.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes I'm here for Joannie she and I have a date." The very good looking guy answers.

Joannie comes rushing down the stairs. "I thought I told you I'd meet you outside," she hisses at the guy.

"You did and I waited forever." He whispers. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's get out of here while we still can."

They leave for a very nice restaurant.

"So where do you want to go after this?"

"Any where, as long as it's *out*."

"I hear you loud and clear." He grins at her.

"Somehow I thought you would," Joannie laughs.

He reaches over and kisses her.

"That's one way to keep me out all night," Joannie says and returns the kiss.

They continue like that until the waiter clears his throat.

"Well, if you offered better desserts, we would have to bring our own," Joannie tells the waiter.

"Yeah," her date agrees.

The waiter laughs and takes their orders then he walks away.

Later Nancy goes upstairs to find her diary and discovers that it's been moved. She turns to Elizabeth.

"I thought the days of you sneaking my diary were over."

"They were but I had to know what was going on and then I couldn't stop myself. Go ahead and kill me if you want." Elizabeth says.

"I'm not going to kill you." She sits down beside her.

"You're not?"

"No I'm not, if it would've been you I probably would have done whatever I could for answers myself, but honey you have to know. Most of the stuff I wrote was when I wasn't in my right mind."

"What about calling Abby mom?"

"I don't know." Nancy says still sort of confused about that.

"Maybe you should talk to her."

"She's not home."

"When she's home."

"I'll think about it." She goes downstairs and finds Susan and Mary in the kitchen. "Hi." She gets something to drink.

"Hi." Mary says. "How does it feel being home again?"

"It feels pretty good Mary. How have you been?" She sits down at the kitchen table.

"Tired, I love Grandma. But I wish I could have my room back."

"Where have you been camping out at?"

"Screen Porch."

"You can stay with Elizabeth and me."

"Thanks, but the floor isn't exactly my forte' that is Susan's" she says

"There's nothing wrong with sleeping on the floor." Susan says

"It's too hard." Nancy says. "The floor I mean."

"So 'you' say." Mary replies.

"Oh yeah, so what have I missed?"

"Not much, of course I have had my head in the books so if something did happen I wouldn't have notice it." Mary says. "What are your plans?"

"Nothing yet. The doctors don't think I should go back to school till next Monday and NA is up in the air. Maybe I'll spend my free time with Noah." She smiles thinking about him.

Mary smiles "Good idea."

"Yeah." Nancy continues to daydream about Noah.

"Yeah what?" Tom asks.

Nancy looks up as Tom enters the kitchen. "Just thinking Dad."

"Oh, that's nice," he says. "I'll be in the study if anyone needs me." He then walks away.

Sometime later Sam starts whining at the study doors.

Tom yells "Will someone take care of Sam."

No one hears him and Sam continues to whine.

When no one comes for Sam; he takes him outside to do his business. "Hurry up Sam, I don't have all day."

Sam does his business and then picks up a stick from the yard with his mouth and gazes expectantly at Tom.

"Oh no you don't, I have work to do."

Nancy comes out and sees the predicament her Dad is in. "Hey Sam over here boy!! Come on!!"

He runs over to her and she plays with him.

"Thanks Nancy." he says

"No problem Dad, don't work too hard ok." She continues to play with Sam.

Tom returns to the study.

The next night on Noah and Nancy's date.

"I've told you all about my family why don't you tell me about yours?" Noah asks.

"Do you have a couple of hours." Nancy laughs.

"I sure do. Your Dad said that I didn't have to have you home till 1am." He replies.

"Ok, here goes." She takes a gulp of her soda and begins. "Dad well
dad is dad he can get a little angry at times and when he yells you can
probably hear him at your house but he's also a soft touch at times.
Abby's great she's not the typical wicked stepmother type which is a relief. David can be overprotective sometimes but he doesn't try to tell us what to do and what not to do. Mary wants to be a doctor and I'm sure she will be. She's very smart. Joannie is the actress of the family. Susan is the Athlete. Elizabeth wants to be a dancer. Tommy is just into girls right now and Nicholas likes his toys, Sam, and frogs." She continues to tell him about her family going into more detail, but not too much detail to protect her family's privacy.

After dinner they go and see a movie and then go for a drive. They wind up at the lake.

"You told me when I was in the hospital that you've been where I was before. What happened?" Nancy asks him.

"I fell hard for a girl in my old neighborhood and it turns out I wasn't the only one she was seeing when she was supposed to be only seeing me and I went off the deep end. I've had so many failed relationships and I guess that was just the tip of the iceberg." Noah says.

"Ouch, I know how that feels." Nancy winces in sympathy.

He gazes at her while a million thoughts run through his mind. ~Can I trust her or is she just going to break my heart like the others.~

She also gazes at him. ~Kiss me already what are you waiting for?~

~She really seems like a nice girl and why would she hurt me if she's been hurt so many times too.~ He considers kissing her. ~Back off buddy it's your first date it's too soon to kiss her.~

~He's nervous. Probably thinks that it's too soon. Oh well here goes.~ Nancy kisses him first and he gets over the shock quickly and returns  the kiss. They don't go any further than that. After all it's the first date. They stay for awhile longer just looking at the stars and then he takes her home.

After Noah drops her off Nancy goes to the kitchen for a little late night snack and finds Abby with her books again.

"Hi Abby." Nancy says still feeling elated from her and Noah's first kiss.

"Hey there. Nice to see you smiling again," Abby says. "I take it your date went well."

"It's nice to smile again." She sits down. "And it went very well. There's something about that guy I really like and trust."

"That's good," Abby says, but can't help remembering all the other boys Nancy thought she could trust.

"He's not like the others."

"I hope not."

"I can bring him over to meet you sometime so you can see for yourself."

"You had one date with him and you're going to bring him home? Sounds serious."

"Well it's not real serious yet. I only think about him all the time."

"I vaguely remember that stage," Abby jokes. "Sure, bring him over."

"Thanks Abby." Nancy finishes her snack and cleans up after herself. "So you need anyone to quiz you or anything?"

"You any good at Statistics?"

"Yeah."

Then you can help pound these P1 through P4 calculations of probability into my head," Abby says, passing Nancy her notes.

"Sure." Nancy quizzes Abby on the calculations.

The next day, Tom decides to gather everyone in the dining room for his announcement about
his business trip.

"What's up Dad?" Tommy asks.

"I'll tell you when everyone gets here." Tom replies. "Where are the girls?" Tom asks Abby.

"Upstairs, I think. I'll go check." Abby hurries upstairs, calling the girls' names.

Mary comes out of her room "What's going on?"

"Your father is waiting downstairs to make an announcement. Nancy! Susan! Joannie! Elizabeth!"
Nancy and Elizabeth come out of their room. "What's up Abby?" They ask.

"Announcement. Downstairs," Abby says, and knocks on Joannie and Susan's door.

Mary goes downstairs "Dad what's going on?" she asks

"Just wait for the rest of them." Tom says.

Nancy and Elizabeth go downstairs and sit down in the living room.

Joannie comes out of her room with her hair in rollers. "Can't whatever it is wait?"

"No."

Joannie sighs and heads downstairs.

Mary goes look for her other missing siblings and sees Nancy and Elizabeth in the living room. "Guys, we are meeting in the dining room."

"Oh all right." Nancy says and then she and Elizabeth go sit down in the dining room.

Tom awaits patiently for the others to arrive.

David soon arrives. "Ok who did what?"

"Nobody David, I just have something to say." Tom replies.

"Oh ok." He sits down next to Mary.

"Now where is Susan and Nicholas?"

"Nicholas is over at Kenny P's." Tommy says

"Oh swell." Tom says.

"Do you want me to go and get him?" Nancy asks.

"No, I am sure the Bradford grapevine will keep him informed. As soon as Abby gets back with Susan, we can begin." Tom says getting a little agitated.

Susan also comes out of her room after hearing all of the commotion and follows Abby downstairs.

"What about Grandma?" Elizabeth asks. Gertie comes in and sits down. "Never mind."

"I guess you are all wondering why I called this meeting." Tom says. "I have to go to D.C. next week for a convention and No none of you are invited, so don't ask."
 

"Dad, the Folger is putting on Troilus and Cressida!" Joannie pleads.

"Meanie." Elizabeth says under her breath.

"Elizabeth, if you have something to say. Say it loud enough for all of us to hear."

"You should at least take Joannie so she can see that show." Elizabeth says.

"Forget it Joannie." Tom replies. "I only called this little meeting to inform you of my trip and say Abby will be in charge while I am gone. So be kind."

"What would it hurt?" Nancy adds her two cents.

Joannie snorts in derision.

"Meeting is adjourned." Tom says.

Nancy goes back upstairs and writes in her diary some more. Elizabeth goes to call one of her friends. While David goes to see if the game is on.

"Well, that went well." Tom says to Abby.

"Compared to what'll probably happen while you're gone, I'll bet it did," Abby sighs.

"Not too late to come with me." Tom says

"Don't tempt me," Abby laughs.

"Just don't say I didn't offer."

"That's cruel and unusual punishment--leave me here in charge and even take away my right to complain."

"I guess I can give you back that right to complain; just don't spring it all on me at once."

"I'll try to spare you," she jokes.

"Gee thanks." Tom says as he kisses her.

Mary goes "Excuse me."

"What is it Mary?" Tom asks

"Can I talk to you both privately?"

Tom looks at Abby "I suppose so."

The three of them retreat to the study.

"What's up, Mary?" Abby asks.

"Do you know when I can have my room back?"

"Well, I don't know...." Tom looks to Abby.

"Oh, no you don't, Tom Bradford. Of all the roles I intend to play in my life, the new wife who pushes the old family out the door isn't one of them."

"Look, I love Grandma; but Dad how long is she staying?" Mary asks.

"OK you two. I'll go talk to her, but it isn't going to be easy." Tom says defeated.

"Thanks Dad." Mary kisses him on the cheek.

"Why do I feel I am going to my execution?" Tom asks.

"Because you're a smart man?" Abby guesses.

"You aren't going to help me escape are you?"

"Hey, you're not asking for my sake--it's Mary who put you up to this."

"I know, well I better get this over with." Tom says.

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

Meanwhile, Nancy goes to knock on Joannie and Susan's door but is a little hesitant wondering if it's a good time or not.

"Come in," Joannie calls out.

Nancy walks in. "Hi, sorry to bother you but my last pen has run out of ink."

"Sure. There's one...wait," Joannie leans over to her nightstand. "Here you go."

Nancy takes the pen. "Thanks sis." She's about to leave but stops and turns around. "How badly do you want to go to DC?"

"Why?" Joannie asks, a little suspicious.

"Maybe there's a way to convince Dad to let you go with him."

"Lately you can't talk to Dad, much less convince him of anything."

"It wouldn't hurt to try, right?"

"Forget it. It wasn't really important," Joannie says.

"If you change your mind. You know where I live."

"I think I vaguely remember."

"Oh yeah it's been awhile since you've been there. Don't worry nothing's changed." Nancy says as she leaves the room.

"Guess someone didn't take her medications today," Joannie mutters under her breath.

Nancy hears her from behind the door and is about to storm in there and say yes she did but decides not to dignify it with a reply. ~If she wants to think the worst of me let her.~ Nancy thinks to herself having had enough and goes back to her room to write in her diary.

Joannie throws a pillow at the door. ~Why can't she just leave me alone. I don't need her making a big dramatic scene out of everything.~

Meanwhile in Nancy and Elizabeth's room. ~I just wanted to help is she going to be like that with me the rest of our lives. She acts like I committed a major crime.~

After awhile Nancy puts her diary away. ~What am I going to do? I've tried shouting, I've tried being subtle. I give up.~ Nancy tries to put it out of her mind but the crack about her not taking her medication really nags at her. ~Why is she being so mean?~

Part 3