Meanwhile in her bedroom Nancy is mentally kicking herself for just leaving Abby standing there but she couldn't stay and listen to her insult her dad. No matter how much of an idiot he is sometimes. She makes a vow to stay out of their fights in the future.
Joannie barges in. "OK, where is it?"
Sam who had been sleeping in Nancy's lap looks up and yawns.
"Where's what?" Nancy asks.
"My blue silk blouse. Don't think I didn't see you eyeing it. Now where is it?"
"I didn't take your blouse."
"Right. Well, then, who did? It's not in my room, Mary doesn't have it. It's got to be in here."
"Why do you have to think that I automatically have it. You know maybe Elizabeth took it."
"Nah, Elizabeth's into that shiny polyester this week. You're the only one who notices fabrics."
Nancy carefully removes Sam from her lap and then leaves the room but not before saying. "I would have asked you first and there are more important things in the world than your clothes." She then goes outside, gets in the station wagon and drives away. ~No way am I taking the sedan even if it was here.~
"Oh, great. What was that about? That girl is too touchy for her own good," Joannie grumbles and puts in a call to the soda shop, warning the owner that Nancy is probably on her way.
Elizabeth walks in wearing Joannie's blouse. "I was going to ask you first but you were busy. I'll have it washed and ready for your use by tomorrow I promise."
"Wonderful," Joannie laughs. "I just chased Nancy out of the house because I swore you wouldn't have been the one to borrow my blouse. Great."
"Nancy left eh? Sheesh women are so emotional." Elizabeth teases.
"Nah, just blondes."
"Is she at the soda shop yet do you know?"
"I called there; if she shows up, we'll know."
After two pots of coffee Greg announces that he's taking Tom home. "Otherwise, I'll have Daisy rambling on about how I'm late."
"I understand, but can we stop at the flower and candy shop first?"
"Going to try the old corny line routine?" Greg asks. "It's amazing. No matter how liberated they claim to be, they always go for the chocolates and roses."
"Yeah it is."
"And damn lucky for us men."
They go to the flower and candy shop and after Greg drops Tom off at home. He quietly enters the house with the peace offerings.
Abby hears the front door open and close. "You know, I'd better see to dinner," she tells her mom, trying to escape the second round.
"Abby wait I'm sorry I was a Neanderthal."
"And now you've come home to buy me off with flowers and candy. Keep it. If I want flowers and candy, I'll go out and buy my own; that's not what I need from you," Abby says.
"What do you need from me?"
"Respect. Understanding. To listen to me once in a while, even if I haven't spent all my time since the Dark Ages learning how to say things in 200 words or less."
"Abby I'm sorry I should have waited but it felt like you were avoiding it."
"Maybe I don't just blurt things out the way you do. It doesn't mean you can't give me time to say what I think I need to say," Abby insists.
"You're right and I should have but I can't turn back the clock."
"No, I don't suppose you can. You'd better get those flowers in water; they're going to wilt as badly as your apology soon."
He puts the flowers in water. "Abby I don't know how else to tell you how sorry I am."
"Forget it," Abby says with a pasted on smile.
Tom observes the smile. "I can't do that if you're still upset."
"I'm not upset," Abby lies. "Why don't you go into the den and have a nice concise male-type discussion with my father?"
"Ok," Tom goes to the den. "Hi Harry."
"Sandra Sue was crying before," Harry says, not looking up from his paper.
"She was?"
"She was," Harry repeats. "Is that your definition of 'treating her right'?"
"Couples fight and I did apologize." He calms down. "And I think she's accepted it but I'm not sure. Do you know? I mean she's your daughter you've known her longer than I have. How do I really let her know that I know I was an idiot and that I'm sorry?"
"Did she have a really big pasted-on smile?" Harry asks.
"Yes."
"Did she change the subject and send you out of the room?"
"She sure did."
"Then I hope your couch is comfortable, Thomas, because Sandra Sue is mad at you." Harry shakes his head and laughs. "I remember once...never mind."
"Never mind what? And how do I get her not mad at me again?"
"It was something about--well, Frank, so forget it. And as for how to get her to stop being mad at you, I don't know. I never did manage that trick, and no one who had ever told me his secret."
Tom sighs. "I guess I'll have to ride it out then. Hey do you want a drink before dinner?"
"If Sandra Sue is on the rampage, I think I'd better," Harry answers.
Tom nods.
Moments later at David's house.
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
"David can I live with you?" Nancy asks.
"No, now what happened?"
She tells him about Tom and Abby's spat, and about Joannie's accusations.
He smiles and tries to keep from laughing.
"Hey it's not funny."
"You're right it's not, but you should go home. Whatever is going on with Joannie can be worked out. You're sisters you're supposed to fight sometimes. She's not going to stop loving you because of it."
"Yeah but."
"Nancy go home."
He finally convinces her to go home. She enters the house and sees Elizabeth wearing the blouse.
"Oh nice." She says with a tinge of sarcasm.
"Nancy I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to take the heat." Elizabeth tells her.
"Don't worry about it you're not the one who made the accusations."
"Look, I'm sorry," Joannie says. "Would it help if I told you I suspected you because you're the only Bradford sister with clothes sense?"
"No," Nancy tries to keep from laughing but fails miserably. "Yes it helps and it's ok."
Joannie pulls Nancy aside. "Now you want to tell me what you're really upset about?"
"Dad and Abby had a fight and I got caught in the middle." Tells her what happened.
"Heavy," Joannie sympathizes. "But what did you expect, going out after Dad? He's a big boy, he can handle himself."
"I know but I was worried."
"One of these days you're going to be married. If you interfere in Dad's marriage, he's going think it's OK to interfere in yours."
"You're right for now on I'm staying out of it. Abby probably thinks I'm mad at her."
"Why? You didn't take sides, did you?"
"Of course not." Tells her what happened outside earlier.
"She probably won't be mad at you. Not unless you avoid her when she's upset."
"Do you think it's too soon to go talk to her?"
"It's not too soon to offer to help with dinner," Joannie says. "If she wants to talk, she'll talk, and if not, at least dinner will be on the table faster."
"Good idea, thanks Joannie." She goes into the kitchen. "Hi Abby, do you need help with dinner?"
"Oh, um, sure," Abby says, wiping her eyes. "The usual--peeling vegetables."
"Ok." Nancy starts peeling the vegetables.
"Um, Nancy," Abby says, a little hesitant. "I was kind of rough on you outside there. I'm sorry--you sort of got caught in the crossfire."
"It's ok, I shouldn't have put myself in the middle if I wasn't ready to take a little flak."
"Why is this beginning to sound more like a battlefield than a family?" Joannie mutters.
Nancy doesn't know how to reply to that one.
"There's a reason it's called 'the battle of the sexes,' Joannie," Abby says.
"Yeah, but I didn't think it would be this literal."
"Sometimes men aren't worth the trouble."
"Come on, girls. Men are adorable. When they're asleep."
Nancy laughs.
"But they'll get pretty ugly if we don't get this dinner on the table," Abby adds.
They finish making dinner and get it on the table and then everyone sits down to eat a very silent meal.
"Is it always this quiet?" Katherine asks.
"Only when Dad is being a baby." Elizabeth whispers.
"I'll assume it isn't as frequent as Sandra Sue made it out to be today," Katherine whispers back.
"Well it's not all the time."
"That's good." Out loud Katherine says, "So, Tom, how does your family celebrate the holiday?"
"We a big dinner on Chri, and then in the morning we drink orange juice before opening presents. Fresh squeezed."
"And some people are going to find great big lumps of coal in their stockings," Abby mutters.
Tom gulps.
Katherine looks around the table, hoping one of the kids knows how to carry on a civilized conversation better than her own daughter does.
After dinner is cleaned up, Abby goes upstairs to study. She considers locking the door, but knows that's going too far.
Soon Tom enters. "I just have to get my pillow and a blanket." He says.
"Fine." Abby reaches over. "Here's your pillow. The extra blankets are in the linen closet, but I'd think Sam would be enough to keep you warm in the doghouse."
"Fine." He takes the pillow and then stops before leaving the room. "Abby we can't go to bed angry."
Abby puts her book on the nightstand and lays down. "We can't? Watch me."
"Abby I already apologized as much as I hate the fact that we are fighting I'm not going to apologize over and over."
"I don't want your apology. I hate apologies."
"Then what do you want?"
"Nothing now. What I wanted at lunch was for you to listen," Abby says. "Even if I did take a while to get to the point."
"It didn't sound like you were getting to the point it sounded like you were pointing out my faults."
"What? When? I wasn't talking about you, as amazing as it may seem to you that someone could actually have a different topic of conversation."
"Weren't talking about me. Well of course you weren't because Abby is perfect and never does anything wrong it's always Tom's fault. Abby can say anything she pleases but if Tom says the slightest thing wrong all hell breaks loose. Well I have news for you lady: marriage is a two way street. It can't always be one person doing the compromising."
"Compromising? Like you'd know anything about that. Tom Bradford with his perfect life, just this one empty slot to be filled, and along I come to fit right in. I don't notice that you spent two weeks sick as a dog for my convenience."
"I've compromised and you know I have, and do you think I wanted you to be sick what kind of monster do you think I am? Hell I'll probably never know what you were sick from. And did it ever occur to you that maybe I was scared that whatever your sick from might be very serious if it wasn't pregnancy. Oh of course it didn't occur to you because Tom is a oblivious fool without sensitivity." Tears well in his eyes. "Abby I don't want to fight anymore tonight." He leaves the room.
Abby rushes to the door and throws it open. "Tom Bradford, you get back in here!"
Meanwhile in Nancy and Elizabeth's room.
"Elizabeth get your ear away from the door."
"But it's so fun."
"Elizabeth!!"
"All right geez."
Back to the hallway.
"Why?" Tom asks.
"Because first of all, I'm not done yelling at you," Abby says, "and second of all, I *never* called you a fool."
"Well I'm done being yelled at for the night. There's only so much one person can take."
"Fine. Then maybe you just come in, sit down, shut up and listen for a change."
"Fine." He goes back into the bedroom.
"You need anything? Once I start talking, I don't want you to say anything until I'm done. Want a drink? A snack? Some duct tape for your mouth?"
"Duct tape would probably be best."
"I'll have to see if I can find any," Abby smiles.
Tom returns the smile having calmed down a bit after his rant.
Abby sits down on the bed, waiting for a signal to start, that Tom's ready to sit down and shut up.
Tom sits there and promises himself he won't interrupt, that he'll wait till she's done.
"Well, we discussed that we didn't want kids, at least not right away, but we never did discuss the practicalities, you know? And it seemed like you kind of expected that I'd just take care of things, and even your kids expected that, or at least Joannie and Elizabeth did, and Nancy, too, I guess, so I did. See, it really wasn't something I was much concerned about the past decade or so, so when I went to the doctor, I just went with what everyone else uses--I mean, even your girls do, right? So I went on the pill, which I hadn't ever before. And everything was fine, I thought, until we went away and I forgot them. When we came home and I started getting tired I thought it was the change in schedule or overwork, and then I worried that I might be pregnant, but then I saw that that couldn't be it, so I went to Hilda, and she's been running these tests, see, and it's really pretty funny."
Tom takes it all in and waits for her to continue.
"This great medical breakthrough that's supposed to liberate women everywhere--and I'm allergic to it."
"You were afraid to tell me that your allergic to the pill?" Tom laughs and shakes his head. "So I'll buy condoms regularly from now on or get a vasectomy."
"I wasn't afraid," Abby says. "See, I knew you'd over-react. It's just a little strange--I'm not used to discussing this sort of thing with anyone but my doctor. And I think your going in for surgery is a little drastic, don't you?"
"Well it's better than you getting your tubes tied at least a vasectomy can be undone if we change our minds later."
"Tom, you are really something. There are other options," Abby says, shaking her head. "Now I know why you have so many kids..."
"And they are?"
"Don't tell me--for all your carping about the contraceptive you can use, you took care of things before there was the pill?" Abby asks.
"And as you can see none of the methods worked."
Abby laughs. "There's always abstinence."
"Surely you can't be serious."
"It's better than a house full of babies or surgery, at least for a while, isn't it?"
"But, but..."
"And it's not like we haven't already been doing that. I mean--I went off the pill a week after we came home and I've been waiting for a reason to tell you, but I haven't needed to."
"Well it wasn't by choice. We haven't been able to be alone long enough to do anything."
"Maybe we install an intercom; this way instead of their knocking on the door we can just ignore their buzzing."
Tom laughs.
"Look, it won't be forever. Hilda's sending me to some specialists--maybe it's just the brand or the dosage. We'll also talk about other methods. Just hope I don't go developing any other negative reactions."
"Is that what you want to do?"
"See, no one is allergic to the pill--but I am. So they may say that surgery is reversible, but what if it isn't and someday I do want a baby?"
"You have a good point there."
"I mean, you seemed so excited about the idea of a baby when you suggested it the other day."
Tom smiles at the thought. "A baby would be very nice but only when both of us are ready for one."
"Ready for one? That's never stopped you before."
"True."
"Tom?" Abby asks, "what if we're both ready, but not at the same time? I mean, even if I had been, you know, pregnant, by the time the baby would have been out of the house, you'd have been retired. If we wait until we're both ready at the same time, I might be retired before it's grown."
"If a baby arrives before I'm ready it won't bother me in the least bit."
"Well, it might bother me, so I guess I'll just keep taking responsibility for that part of our lives. After all, if the past few weeks are what it's like to be pregnant, you can keep it," Abby makes a face.
"Abby if you want me to wear condoms I will."
"And which of your kids can we attribute to the failure of that method?"
"Susan."
"Uh huh. Given your track record and mine, thanks, but no thanks. It won't be all that long--a week, maybe two. Three at the most, Hilda said."
~Three weeks, three whole weeks?~ "Ok I can tough it out but it won't be easy."
"You lasted longer than that while we were dating--at your own insistence, if I recall correctly."
"You're right but still."
"Poor Tom," Abby gets up and perches on the arm of Tom's chair. "You're so cute when you're flustered."
"Thank you." He says. He looks up at her and gently strokes her cheek. "No you didn't say I was a fool, but I was. Because only a fool would have yelled at you like I did today."
"If you insist," Abby teases and then kisses the top of his head. "So, wfriends again?"
"We're definitely fri." He kisses her back.
Abby slides off the arm of the chair and into Tom's lap. "I like being friends," she says and kisses Tom again.
"So do I." He says as he returns the affection.
"Maybe I should lock the door," Abby says between kisses.
"Yes you should they're are plenty of things we can do and still be practicing abstinence."
"This from a man who pretended to know of nothing but the pill and condoms. Should be interesting," Abby says, gives Tom a kiss and goes to lock the door.
"It'll be very interesting that I assure you."
"Just remember--I'm a nice girl, so watch yourself."
"I'll try."
Meanwhile Nancy goes downstairs and outside to check on Sam. "You know I think you're house trained by now you have yet to have an accident. Want to sleep inside for a change."
Sam wags his tail and nudges at her to let him out of the fort. Nancy smiles and takes him inside and comes face to face with a family member.
"Dad and Abby didn't get mad at you before so you're trying again?" Joannie asks.
"That and I think he's ready." Nancy tells her.
"When it comes to pets around here, the question isn't are they ready," Joannie says. "It's," she points upstairs, "are they ready."
"I'll keep him in my room tonight; he won't bother anyone."
"Except Elizabeth, and when he runs out in the morning Dad and Abby, and if you're really lucky he'll bark all night and keep us awake."
"He won't bark all night. If he starts I'll bring him out again."
Sam looks at Joannie with his pitiful feel sorry for me look.
"Don't try it on me, you---you, male you. I have years of experience at turning down guy's pleading looks," Joannie laughs. "Nancy's the one who always says yes."
Nancy laughs also. "Joannie I'm bringing him upstairs to my room."
"I'll be praying for you."
"Thank you, you're a good sister." Nancy kisses her on the cheeks and then takes Sam upstairs.
Joannie follows her and pulls Nancy to a stop at the top of the stairs. "Hey--they're not yelling anymore," she says, pointing at Tom and Abby's door.
"That's good, I'm glad Abby isn't upset anymore. Now Dad he had it coming going to get drunk in a bar like that. You'd think he'd have a little tact when I showed up to take him home at least."
"Dad? Tact? You sure you're talking about the same man I am?"
Nancy laughs. "You're right what was I thinking."
"I wonder if they did stop fighting, or maybe they just stopped talking."
"We can always barge in and ask them." Nancy teases.
"It might be better than another dinner like tonight's."
They hear the front door opening and closing.
"Hey aren't we all home and accounted for?" Nancy frets.
"Us and a few more," Joannie says. "You get the baseball bat, I'll get the rape whistle."
"Who are you?!" Nancy says as she holds the baseball bat ready to strike.
"Relax, I'm your cousin Marvin from Patagonia."
"Never heard of you. Joannie do we have relatives in Patagonia?"
"That we'd admit to? Nancy, I think it's time to barge in on Dad and Abby."
They don't have to; Sam's barking had woken everyone.
"What are you two doing taking on an intruder by yourself?!" Tom then turns to the young intruder. "If you've hurt my daughters."
"I wouldn't hurt my cousins. I'm Marvin from Patagonia." He protests.
"Marvin? Can't be you were just a baby the last time I saw you." Tom says.
Abby comes down the steps a few minutes later, still pulling herself together, and is followed closely by her parents. "Mom, Dad, this is --Tom," she whispers, "who is that?"
"This is my cousin Marvin." Tom tells her. "Marvin why didn't you call? It would have been better than nearly giving me a heart attack." He says still unnerved that Nancy and Joannie confronted him themselves instead of waking him. He makes a mental note to talk to his daughters about it in the morning.
"I didn't want to wake you."
"Why should you be different than any other Bradford," Abby mutters.
They get Marvin settled on the sun porch and everyone starts drifting back to bed.
Later in Tom and Abby's room.
"He'll be headed for Frisco in the morning." Tom says and then grows upset. "What were Joannie and Nancy thinking."
"Joannie and Nancy think?" Abby says, still upset about a lot of things when it comes to those two girls.
"Abby I'm serious what if it would have been a dangerous criminal."
"You would have been able to protect us all?" Abby scoffs.
"Yes I would have." He boasts.
Abby doubles over laughing. "You are such a chauvinist."
"I am not."
"Right. Look, Maybe Joannie and Nancy couldn't have taken on a criminal, but I'd bet Susan could as well as you, if not better."
"Yeah right."
"You willing to put your money where your mouth is, mister?"
"Sure am."
"All right, I'll talk to Susan in the morning. In the meantime, I think we were interrupted, weren't we?"
"That we were." They return to what they were doing before they were so rudely interrupted.
The next morning Tom corners Joannie and Nancy and orders them into the study.
"So what do you two think? That you're wonder woman, Charlie's Angels maybe?"
"Come on Dad we knew what we were doing." Nancy says.
"We had him outnumbered," Joannie reasons.
"And Sam was with us."
"Sam wouldn't have been able to do anything and neither would you two if he have had a weapon with him."
"If he had a weapon with him, none of us would have been able to do anything," Joannie says.
"You're right, but um uh. Hey can you two please tell Abby if she asks that I made you see the error of your ways." Tom pleads.
"I don't know." Nancy teases him.
"You know, I think Abby would rather hear that we made you see the error of your ways. She's not some old stick in the mud," Joannie says.
"You don't understand Abby was scared too. She asked me to talk to you girls."
"Dad careful your nose is growing." Nancy says.
"Yeah, right," Joannie laughs. "Nice try, Dad. Only thing Abby seemed worried about last night was--never mind."
"What?"
"It's OK, Dad," Joannie assures him. "We're all adults; we've all been in that situation a time or two. Nancy probably even more."
"I have not." Suddenly she grows pale. "I have to go." She runs upstairs to the bathroom and loses last nights dinner.
"Poor Nancy; the whole topic makes her sick after her night out with Brad."
Tom's eyes grow wide in terror. "After her night with Brad."
"Oh, come on, Dad, you don't think?" Joannie says. "Nah, she's careful."
"I believe she's careful but she's also... Oh no."
"Dad, cool it. It's probably just stomach trouble. I mean, Abby's been sick a lot, too, lately, and we all know she hasn't been especially careful--unless there's something you're not telling us?" Joannie fishes for information but ends up revealing some of her own.
"Joannie what do you mean she hasn't been especially careful?"
Joannie starts to back towards the door. "Did I say that?"
"Yes you did how would you know either way?"
"While you were away I went into your room looking for--an aspirin. Yeah, that's it, I was looking for an aspirin."
"And you saw that Abby had left her pills behind. I'm sorry Joannie you must have been so worried."
"Hey, what's a few more kids around here, right? We could hang beds from the ceiling or something, right? So--is there any reason to be worried?"
"No there isn't."
"Whew. So why's she been so tired lately, and sick, and cranky, too?"
"If she wants you to know she'll tell you. Don't worry everything is fine."
"But, Dad..."
"Joannie."
"Well, I guess if Nancy has anything to tell you, you'll just have to wait until she volunteers the information, just like I'll have to wait for Abby, huh?"
"That's not fair. Nancy is 18 but in some ways she's still a child."
"She's legally an adult and only has herself to answer to. You and Abby have all of us you're responsible for, so we should know, too. Why's Abby been sick lately?"
"It's nothing serious and if she wants you to know she'll tell you."
"Fine, be like that. You know you can't keep secrets in this house," Joannie pouts.
"Joannie she's my wife and I can't always tell you everything that's going on."
"Hey, it's not like we don't know when you're fighting--or makup."
"Joannie I can't tely." He leaves the study and goes to get coffee.
Abby is passing in the upstairs hallway when she hears the sound of someone being sick. She knocks on the bathroom door. "You all right in there? I mean, obviously you're not all right--need any help?"
Nancy cleans up and rinses her mouth out. "I'm fine just a little upset stomach."
"Well, be careful about that," Abby warns. "Your father is paranoid about upset stomachs."
"Then I don't think I want to go downstairs he was in the same room when I dashed up here."
"It is just an upset stomach, isn't it?" Abby asks.
"Of course it is." Nancy says.
"Ok. Look, if you need to talk, or to see some doctor and you don't want to go to Dr. Maxwell..."
~Oh I'll definitely need to talk if my monthly enemy doesn't arrive by this week and not to Dad.~
"Thanks Abby."
"Hey, we've all been there, Nancy. It helps to talk to someone, no matter how it turns out. Beats worrying alone."
Nancy checks to make sure that no one is listening outside and then closes the door. "Abby, I'm a week late."
"A week isn't conclusive," Abby reassures her. "Are you usually on time?"
"I'm usually either a few days early or a few days late but I've never been this late."
"Ok, but why are you going?" Nancy stops herself. "I'm sorry that's
none of my business."
"I'm not pregnant, if that's what has you worried, OK?" Abby says. "I told you not to worry about that, didn't I?"
"Yes you did but pregnancies aren't the only reason that women go to see the doctor. You're not sick or anything are you? I mean you're not dying."
"Oh, Nancy, no, I'm not dying. You're going to have to put up with me for a good long while," Abby says, avoiding the first part of the question.
Nancy sighs in relief and hugs her.
Abby returns the hug. "Try not to worry. I'm sure it's nothing but stress. And if it's not, we'll deal with that when we know, OK?"
"Ok I'll try."
"Hey other people have to use the bathroom too!!" Elizabeth complains.
"So we on for tomorrow?" Abby asks, standing.
"Yeah but I think we better relinquish this place before we get lynched."
Abby laughs. "Besides, we both should get started on our days, shouldn't we?"
Nancy laughs also. "Yeah." They both get out of the bathroom and go finish getting ready before going downstairs.