"Well ok."  Tom undresses and gets dressed again.

"That's better," Abby says with a smile. Then she grabs her clothing and
goes off to get dressed out of Tom's eyesight.

"Hey what about me?!"  He pouts.

"I thought you wanted to go out for dinner," Abby answers.

"I do, but you got to watch."

"That's because I could trust myself to go get dressed afterwards," Abby
laughs.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Hey, I'm getting dressed, aren't I?"

After Abby's finished they go out to dinner.  While at home Jason and
the kids replace what was damaged the day before, clean up, and throw
another party.

The Bradford doorbell rings.

Nancy answers the door.  "Hi Auntie V."  She hugs her.

"Nancy!" V hugs her. "How are you doing? I thought you could use some
fun, now that you're recovered. What's going on here? A party? In the
middle of the day? Has your father finally taken leave of his senses?"

"I'm doing good, and er um Dad and Abby aren't here.  How are you
doing?"

"Fine. Just stopped by for a few hours; Horst had to go to LA. What do
you mean they're not here. Do you always throw parties when they go to
work?"

"Actually you're going to love this.  They're on their honeymoon."
Nancy grins.

"I don't believe it," Vivian smiles. "I thought they'd never go. Why
didn't he call me? Who's supervising you?" She looks around the house.
"From the looks of it, no one is."

"Mary is."

"And as you can see, I lost the battle."  Mary says "Hi Auntie V."

"Hey, sweetie," Vivian greets her. "Don't tell me you were fighting too
hard."

"Well....." she says.

"Oh, come on," Vivian insists. "I saw all those handsome men out
there,"  she  gestures towards the living room. "You don't have your
head stuck in a book  all the time."

"I hate it when Dad puts me in charge,"

Vivian laughs so hard she has to sit down.

"Mary's a responsible person.  This isn't her fault."  Nancy says.

"Why isn't David in charge?" her aunt asks. "Or me. I did offer."

"Uh....." Mary says looking for her siblings support.

"We'll let Dad answer that."  Nancy says also refusing to be the one to
have to answer for their father.

"Wait--don't tell me," Vivian interrupts her. "Let me guess." She puts
her fingertips to her temples, closes her eyes, and intones. "I see one
stuck in the mud brother who thinks his sister will shake up the house
too much and show his kids too good a time."

Nancy laughs.  "Exactly."

Mary doesn't say anything.

"Mary? What's wrong? You're always serious, but right now you look
downright grim."

"Nothing's wrong; except I better plan my funeral before Dad and Abby
see this mess."

"No, you're not going to take all the credit."  Nancy tells her. "You're
not the only Bradford child here today."

"Then maybe we better plan a double or more funeral."

"Yeah."

"They won't be upset with you--at least I don't think Abby will be, and
she'll manage to calm your father down. No one comes back from a
honeymoon and commits murder,," Vivian assures her. "Except for that guy
I went out with back in '64..."

"What?"  she asks.

"What guy did you go out with commit murder?" asks Susan entering the
room  "Hi Auntie V"

"Hi, Susan," Vivian gets up and gives her niece a kiss. "And about three
of them, actually. A girl needs some variety in her life, you know."

Susan mumbles to herself "Three of them?" and then shakes her head

Vivian surveys the damage. "I'd say she's responsible for quite a lot.
When are all of you planning to leave town?"

"Before they get back."

"Good idea. How'd things get so out of hand, anyway?"

"Right before I found out that my ex boyfriend got my ex best friend
pregnant."

"What?" Vivian says. "You're not joking, are you?" She stands and claps
her hands together to get everyone's attention. "If you can get this
place cleaned up in a half hour, I'll take everyone here out to lunch."
She pulls Nancy into the sun porch. "OK, now tell Auntie V all about
it."

"Ray and Cassie were seeing each other.  First behind Jason's back and
then behind mine when they continued to sleep together after Ray and I
had started seeing each other.  Cassie confessed yesterday."

"Did you scratch her eyes out or go shopping?" V asks.

"Shopping, Joannie took me to Frisco, but then we saw Grandpa Wells."
Her face clouds over.

Vivian growls. "You had some day yesterday, didn't you? Sounds like you
need some Auntie V pampering."

Nancy nods.  "Would Uncle Horst be too upset if you stayed a little
while longer?"

"I have ways to make it up to him, dear."

Elizabeth barges in.  "Hey Auntie V it's all clean now."

"OK. Lunch first, then I'm taking Nancy shopping. Elizabeth, you
organize the cars. Get cabs if you kids have been hitting your father's
liquor supply, ok?"

"Ok,"  She goes to do this.

"Nancy, you pick where we're eating and what we're doing afterwards,"
Vivian tells her.

"Thanks Auntie V, I'm really glad you're here."

"So am I, especially since your stuffy old father isn't."

Nancy laughs and soon everyone leaves for lunch.

During dinner, Abby says to Tom, "You know, we've been here two whole
days and haven't had a fight yet. I think we're losing our edge."

"No we're not losing our edge, don't be silly Abby." Tom teases.

"Oh, yeah? Just try to give me an argument. I dare you."

"No, you come up with an argument."

"Why do I always have to do all the work in this relationship?" Abby
complains. "You're the one who's supposed to be the creative one in the
family."

"Hey I'm the one who found things to complain about with you first."

"That's what you think. You don't know what I said about your house
after the first day I stepped foot in it."

"What did you say about our house?"

"Why should I tell you?" Abby teases.

"Because we're trying to have an argument and having another thing to
argue about will help."  He teases.

"You're still making me do all the work," Abby teases back. "Why don't
you tell me what you complained about me before we started going out?"

"Well before I actually met you I thought you'd be some old cranky
strict lady."

"And I thought you were some over-indulgent parent who threw money at
his kids instead of attention," Abby tells him.

Tom laughs.  "What made you think that?"

"Your house. Tommy being an underachiever. Your neighborhood. The chaos.
Why wouldn't I think it?"

"Hmm, I wonder if others get that impression?"

"Does it matter? I mean, your boss thinks you're a  sexual deviant. What
does it matter what your kids' teachers think of you?"

"Please don't remind me. I don't want to think about Elliot Randolph
right now."

"All I'm saying is that you've got bigger problems than what I *used* to
think about you."

"I do not."

"No? So I guess you don't care what I say about you now."

"Of course I care."

"But you're not worried, is that it?"

"What gave you that idea?"

"You don't sound too worried. You ought to be, though," Abby says.

"I refuse to worry about it on our honeymoon."

"So what are you going to worry about on our honeymoon?"

Tom gazes at her provocatively.

"That makes you worry?" Abby laughs. "Don't worry. I'll let you sleep,
now and then."

Tom laughs.

"You know what worries me?" Abby says.

"What worries you?"

"You know that feeling you get when you leave home--that you've
forgotten something? I can't think what, but I'm sure I left something I
need at home. Oh, well."

"Hmm, well you brought your toothbrush, your makeup, your clothes."

"Well, some clothes. Didn't think I'd need much," Abby says and gives
Tom a kiss.

He returns the kiss.  "And you remembered your pills right?"

"Pills?" Abby asks, not really paying attention to what Tom's saying.
"Of cour...pills?" she asks again, her tone rising. "Pills. I don't
believe this. I do not believe I could be so stupid. Pills."

"Oh no."  Tom goes pale.

Abby tries to think. "I took one yesterday before we left. I must have
left them in the bathroom." She shakes her head. "It's only been one
day, Tom. I'm sure it'll be OK."

"Abby, Nancy is a result of Joan forgetting a pill."

"Look, I said I was sorry! You know, you could take some responsibility,
too. You're the one who's already got eight kids. Why's it my job to
make sure you don't have more?"

"But I hate wearing those things."

"Every man says that."

"And we say it for a reason."

"Hmph. And women just love messing with our hormones for your
convenience," Abby says.

"I guess this means you want me to go and purchase some of those
things."

"We could get separate hotel rooms for the rest of this honeymoon," Abby
tells him.

"That won't be necessary, I'll buy condoms."  Tom tells her.

"You're such a good husband," Abby gives him a kiss.

Tom returns the kiss.  "Well you're having a good affect on me."

"Maybe after dinner and after you go shopping I'll give you a reward for
being such a good student."

"That I'm looking forward to."

"You ought to be," Abby flirts. "I've never had complaints before."

After dinner, Tom buys the condoms and then they head back to the hotel
room.

~I am not going to worry if this is locking the barn door after the
horse is out~ Abby decides. She circles Tom. Now what am I going to do
with you?"

"Anything you want I hope."

"Anything I want?" Abby asks, caressing Tom.

"Yep anything."

Abby considers this. "Bring any of those toys you have hidden in your
nightstand? And don't think I didn't notice them, Tom. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself," she teases.

"Oh those."  He blushes.  "No I didn't bring any."

I just want to know where you collected all of those," Abby says. "You
certainly don't seem the type."

"Joan bought them for me."

"And you just kept them--as a momentum?" Abby asks, a little jealous.

"Actually I forgot they existed."

"Right. Want to tell me another story?"

"Abby I'm telling the truth.  Why would I lie at this point?"

"I'm not sure," Abby admits. "But give me a few minutes and I'll come up
with a reason."

Tom sighs in frustration.  "Believe what you want to believe."

Abby walks away from him. "Well, you sure know how to kill a mood."

"Well you're the one who insists on trying to find something to be mad
at me about."

"Only because making up is so much fun. But if you're going to be like
this..."

Tom promptly goes to her, wraps his arms around her, and kisses her.

"Sure, that's what you say now..." Abby grumbles.

"I love you Abby."  He smiles.

Abby smiles back and kisses him. "You never actually used that stuff,
did you?" she asks, unable to reconcile her image of her husband with
the stash she'd found hidden.

"Well no."  He confesses.

"Good," Abby says and begins to seriously kiss him. "Then there still is
something I can teach you."

"Too bad I left the toys at home." He says as he returns the kiss.

"That's OK. I think I can improvise," Abby promises him.

Tom smiles.

Abby grabs his hand and leads his towards the bedroom. "Come with me,
my..." she stops when she sees the broken bed. "Or maybe not..."

"Maybe it's time to call the front desk and request a new bed."

"And wait half the night for them to replace it?" Abby sighs. "The floor
didn't seem to bother you before," she teases.

"Good point."

"Oh, I've got lots of good points," Abby says.

"I'm sure you do."

Abby starts unbuttoning Tom's shirt. "And do you have any good points?"

"Yes."

"Such as?"

"I'm very good in bed.  I can beat Max at golf."  Tom goes on to lists
his good points.

"And you're so modest," Abby laughs. "Good in bed, huh? Says who?"

"Says you I hope."

"It's been such a long time," Abby pretends to pout. "Hours and hours.
Maybe you ought to remind me."

"Gladly."  Tom reminds her of his performance.

"And you claim to be good in bed. Ha," Abby says afterwards.

Tom's ego seriously deflates.

"Now if you'd said you're good on the couch..." Abby smiles at him. "I
wonder how you are on other pieces of furniture?"

"I'm not saying until we try other pieces of furniture."

"Hope you bought the jumbo economy-sized box..." Abby murmurs.

"I bought three of the jumbo economy-sized boxes."  He boasts.

Abby really laughs at this. "You have to work on that low self-esteem
problem you have, Tom."

"It's not a low esteem problem.  I figured we could use them for the
whole honeymoon and at home.  Just in case."

"You know, there are pharmacies in Sacramento," Abby says, and scopes
out the room, looking for steady pieces of furniture. "Besides," she
whispers in his ear, "I don't think you'll have any left to take
home..."

"Good."  Tom says.

"Tom?"

"Abby."

"Shut up and kiss me."

Tom kisses her.

The next day at the store.  Nancy is there getting stuff for the party
when she runs into Cassie.
She promptly glares at her and walks away.  Cassie goes after her.

"Are you going to throw away 6 years of friendship over one incident?"
Cassie asks.

Nancy turns around to face her.

"Why not you sure were willing to do that over a guy."  Nancy snaps.

"Fine be that way."

"Don't worry I will."

Cassie leaves and Nancy goes to the register to pay for the party
concessions.  She meets up with Jason in the parking lot.

"Ray skipped town and Cassie and I got back together."

Nancy nearly drops the party stuff so she puts it inside the station
wagon and turns to him.

"Have you completely lost your mind.  After what she did to you."

"I still love her."  He says.

"You're just going to wind up getting hurt again."  She gets in the car
and drives home.

Joannie meets her outside. "What took you so long? The crowd is getting
nasty without their munchies."

"I ran into Jason and Cassie."  Nancy tells her.

"Jason and Cassie?" Joannie repeats. "Jason *and* Cassie? As in
together?"

"Yes, he'd rather be with that floozy than with someone he can trust."

"Such as--you?" Joannie asks.

"Yes, such as me."  Nancy says.  "But Cassie has ruined that for me
too."

"You and Jason?" Joannie tries to wrap her mind around the concept.
"Little sister, you need to get better taste in men."

"There's nothing wrong with my taste in men.  I've just been on a run of
bad luck with men lately."

"I think 'bad luck' and 'men' are synonyms," Joannie tells her. "Come on
inside and we'll see if we can find you some new bad luck."

Nancy laughs. "Ok," and gets the party supplies out of the car.

They go inside and Joannie yells to get everyone's attention. "All
available men, over here! Auditions are being held!"

"Joannie."  She puts the party stuff down and tries to keep herself from
dying of embarrassment.  At that point the telephone rings so she
answers it to get out of the situation.  "Hello."

"Hey, Nancy. How are things at home?" Abby asks.

"Things are fine, how are things there?"  Nancy asks thinking about the
pills.

"Good," Abby says, looking over to where Tom's sleeping on the floor.
"Really good. How's the party?"

"Party, what party?"

"Nancy..." Abby chides. "I haven't gone deaf yet. You might want to tell
someone to turn down the stereo, though, or you all will."

Nancy chuckles and tells them to turn it down.  "You won't tell Dad will
you?"

"I think your father has other things to worry about right now," Abby
assures her.

"Yeah about what?"

Abby laughs. "Sightseeing."

"Abby can I ask you a serious question?"

"A serious question? With a party going on in the background?"

"Yeah, how did you know that Dad was a decent guy?"

"That is a serious question. And I don't think the answer will help you
much," Abby says. "I saw how he behaved around you kids--you all loved
him too much for him to be a heel. But I guess you want to know how I
knew he'd be good to me, huh?"

"Yep."

Abby think about this. "He listens," she finally says. "Oh, I'm not
saying he always gives in to me--you know as well as anyone that your
father has his own way of doing things. But--well, I guess it was that
he wanted to be my friend, not just my lover." Abby changes the topic
slightly before she can say anything to embarrass Nancy. "What brings
this up?"

"Cassie's pregnant with Ray's baby.  Ray ran out on her and now Jason
went back to her.  I thought Jason and I would have a chance but he'd
rather be with her.  I thought Ray was a decent guy but nope I was
fooled again."

"Wow. That is a lot to deal with," Abby sympathizes. "Ray had your
father fooled, too, you know, so you're in good company. But Jason and
Cassie have been together a while, haven't they? So you're just back
where you were a month or two ago."

"Yeah but she's going to wind up hurting him again."

"She might," Abby agrees. "Look, Nancy, guys your age--most of them,
anyway--don't really think of the consequences. Or think, period."

"Yeah, so what do I do in the meantime?"

"Keep trying," Abby says. "There are a few good guys out there," ~Like
Frank~ "and a lot of the rest just need a chance to grow up."

"And the trying will be fun, thanks Abby."

"Just don't give your father a heart attack while you're trying, OK?"
Abby pleads.

"I won't."

"So what else is new at home? Mary keeping you all under control?" Abby
asks.

"Yes, Mary is doing a great job of keeping us under control."  Nancy
crosses her fingers.

"That's good," Abby says, not entirely buying Nancy's story. "And no
one's been staying over who doesn't actually live in our house?"

"Auntie V is here, she stopped by yesterday and decided to stay awhile."

"Your aunt is there? Your father's going to love that," Abby says. "When
we finish talking, put her on the line, OK?"

"Ok," they finish talking and soon V comes on.

"How's the honeymoon?"  V asks.

"Well, your brother's asleep," Abby smirks. "When did you get into
town?"

"Good for you."  Vivian says.  "I got in yesterday and decided to stay
for a bit.  There's a broken heart in this house that needed shopping
therapy among other things."

"Nancy, or is there more trouble at home?" Abby asks. "And look, I'm
sorry Tom didn't take you up on your offer to stay with the kids while
we were gone--I guess he figured it was time for Mary to start bearing
her share of the burden."

"I'm talking about Nancy's and don't worry everything is fine here."
Vivian laughs. "Abby you don't have to make excuses for him I know my
brother doesn't think I'm responsible enough to watch the kids."

"Well, I can try," Abby laughs. "And, hey--Vivian? I think Tom's wrong
about that."

"Thanks Abby, and of course he's wrong." Vivian laughs.

Abby sees that Tom's beginning to stir and would rather not hear a
confrontation between the Bradford siblings. "Then prove him wrong while
you're there," she tells Vivian. "Look, I'd better get going and you
have a party to supervise."

"Ok, tell him hi and give him a hug for me and don't worry everything
will be fine here."

Abby agrees. They say goodbye and hang up. She slips back under the
covers and gives Tom a kiss. "Everything is fine at home," she tells
him. "And you have lousy taste in men."

"What do you mean I have lousy taste in men?"  Tom asks in confusion.

"I just spoke to the kids--you know, you might want to consider doing
that at some point," Abby teases. "And you won't believe what that
'nice' boy Ray did." She tells him about Cassie's baby and Ray's running
off. "Next time you like one of the girls' boyfriends, remind me to
worry."

Tom's face clouds with anger.  "He did what?!  Oh wait till I get my
hands on that boy!!  Breaking my daughters heart and getting Cassie
pregnant!!"

"Tom, please. Murder is so messy," Abby says. "Nancy will get over him.
I think she already has--she sounded more upset that Jason is back with
Cassie than about what Ray did."

"And Cassie!!  Some best friend she turned out to be."  He tries to calm
down.

"She's young. She'll grow up--pretty quickly now, I'd say. Babies change
everything." Abby bites on her thumbnail, remembering that she might
find herself in the same situation.

"Yeah I suppose, she really should have thought it through."

"Sometimes these thing just happen, you know."

"If he would have gotten Nancy pregnant.  His slow death would have just
happened to."  He rages.

"Give Nancy some credit. She just started going out with Ray--I don't
think she would have slept with him." ~Oh, I'm just putting my foot in
it, aren't I?~ Abby thinks, remembering how few dates she and Tom had
been on before they almost ended up in bed.

"Well we almost..."  Tom stops himself.

"Yeah," Abby says. "And we may in the same boat as Cassie, too. Maybe
then Nancy's the grown up and we're the teenagers."

"In that case I say we get a motorcycle."

"You know how to drive a motorcycle?" Abby says, surprised.

"I sure do, but it's been awhile."

"I'll bet we could rent one today," Abby suggests. "And then we could
get the bed replaced. You didn't look too comfortable sleeping on the
floor."

"Very good idea, and yep time to face the music."  He calls the front
desk.

Abby goes to shower and dress, sure that she'll hear Tom's embarrassed
screams over the sound of the water.

They bring a new bed and question Tom about how it happened.

"I don't remember how it happened."  Tom lies.

"Yeah right.  Do us a favor, don't get so wild on this bed all right old
man."  They say as they leave.

"I am not an old man!!"

Abby smiles and waits for the door to close behind the hotel staff. She
leans out of the bathroom. "Hey, Tom? Did you know there's almost
nothing you can break in a shower?"

"Is that right."  He says as he walks over to her.

"That's what I've heard, old man," she teases. "But maybe we should
research it."

Tom gets in the shower with her.

A while later there is furious knocking on the door to the suite.

Tom groans, throws his robe on, and answers the door.

A very nervous looking hotel employee is standing at the door. "Mr.--ah,
Bradford, is it? The manager asked if you could come downstairs. He'd
like to have a word with you, sir."

"Can't it wait?"

"He was rather--vehement."

"Abby I'll be back in a bit!!"  He leaves with the employee.

Abby turns off the shower and gets dress.

Downstairs, the manager waits for this Mr. Thomas Bradford of
Sacramento, his fingers drumming against a manila folder.

Tom and the employee finally enter and then the employee leaves them
alone.

"What's the meaning of this?"  Tom asks.

The manager reads from the file. "A broken bed. We had to move the
people staying in the rooms below and next to your to other room because
they complained about the noise levels. And now you've flooded the suite
below yours. Mr. Bradford, I do know that you're staying in the bridal suite,
but still!"

"Now wait a minute if the suite below ours flooded that's your fault.
All we did was shower you might want to have your floors inspected."

"Mr. Bradford," the manager says with a sigh, "showers are not meant to
run for an hour and a half continuously."

"Oh."  Tom sits down.

"Obviously, we will bill you for the damages, but what I really want to
know, Mr. Bradford, is," the manager leans in close. "what's your
secret?"

"No secrets.  I just do what comes natural."  Tom says.

"Your wife must be one happy woman," the manager says, putting away the
file folder.

"I hope she is because I'm very happy.  Are you married?"

"That's what my marriage counselor says."

"Surprise her with something."

"A bunch of roses," the manager smiles. "With thorns."

"Leave out the thorns and you'll have much more fun."

"My wife's idea of fun is maxing out my credit cards," the man
complains.

"So take away the credit cards."

"Easy for you to say--you have a wife who like to break beds and take
long showers."

"Yeah,"  Tom smiles and daydreams about what he and Abby do.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Abby is calling around town to find a motorcycle
for rent.

"Yeah lady we rent motorcycles.  When do you need one?"

"Do you have anything available today?" Abby asks. "In say an hour or
so?"

"We sure do, they go for 5 an hour."

"Great." Abby gives the man her information and takes down the address
and directions, and then waits for Tom to return.

Tom returns some time later.

"Well, that certainly took you long enough," Abby says, kissing him
hello.

He returns the kiss.  "The manager needed some advice."

Abby looks at him, puzzled. "He sent one of the staff up here because he
needed advice? About what?"

"Well not just for that he wanted to discuss damage also and he wanted
to know how I managed it."

"Managed it? You mean the damage? It's not like you didn't have help,"
Abby says.

"No, he wanted to know what my secret was to a good marriage."

"Keeping your wife very, very happy, I hope you told him," Abby says.

"Along those lines."

"Smart man," Abby says, rewarding him with kisses.

"Do you want to test out the new bed?"  Tom asks as he returns the
kisses.

"Later. First I want you to show me how wild you really are," Abby
teases.

"What do you have in mind?"
  Part five