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| Revaluation N.E. |
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| The exhilarating feeling of the wind rushing past me as I fall down, down, down. The building seems so tall above me. Why did I do it? I ask myself over and over again as my life flashes before my eyes. I�m not ready to die yet, what was I thinking? I haven�t accomplished what I want to yet, but I always figured there was still time. Now that time is gone. I jumped, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but now I�m taking the fall. Seconds seem like hours as I revaluate my life for the last time. My heart skips a beat as I happen upon the Memory, that one time I�ll never forget. Walking over the tracks and waving goodbye to my life, my house, and my mom was the strangest feeling ever. Memories of the life I was leaving behind rushed over me. Mom never even knew I was leaving. I knew it would hurt her too much, so I just left. There were no messy goodbyes filled with ample tears and broken dreams. I wish I could go back, but it�s too late now. It�s all over. I still remember how uncommonly cold it was that winter morning. All I had was the shoes on my feet, the coat on my back, a backpack with enough to live for a week, and the few bucks I had in my pocket. Here goes nothing was my thought as I started my long journey. I knew it would be really different, only being fifteen and going from small-town Iowa to big-city California. I already had the plane tickets. It took me four years of saving to finally have enough. Small jobs here and there and spending hardly anything got me what I needed. Teenagers are cruel and spread lots of rumors, but I knew the truth, and soon they would too. That was all that mattered. I walked the few blocks to Shannon�s house freezing in the below freezing temperatures, but I didn�t feel it. I was too busy thinking. She already had her license, and she had insisted on driving me to the airport. �That�s what best friends are for,� was her reply whenever I would insist on her not driving me. I knew she would get in trouble for it, but she didn�t care because that�s what a best friend is for. On the plane, my heart was beating like a racehorse�s heart does when fighting for first place. If I were old enough to drink, I would have been. My dreams were coming true; I could feel it. I was born to act. People told me that over and over. I had an audition already planned. It wasn�t a big role by any means, but it was a good start. When I got to Los Angeles, it was eight o�clock. I checked into my hotel. It wasn�t anything too impressive, but with my budget, I couldn�t afford anything else. I had three hours until my audition. Just enough time to unpack, take a shower, and get lost three times on the busy city streets; I slept on the plane, so I wasn�t too tired. As I walked into my room at about 3 o�clock, I threw my coat into the closet, sat down on the bed, and cried. I didn�t realize how scared I was until that minute. I was only fifteen, in a strange town without anyone I knew or had even met before, I had no money, and I just lost the opportunity of a lifetime. I only had time to get lost three times, but I got lost four times. I was a half an hour late to my audition, and those big producers didn�t have time for me. I had to get some kind of job if I ever wanted to act. Surprisingly, none of the fast-food restaurants were hiring, so even that was out of the question. I searched and searched until I finally saw an advertisement in the classifieds of the L. A. Times. The job paid well, but it was rather risky. I had to try; I was desperate. I regret even walking out of the door early that winter morning. I should have stayed at home where I would be safe forever, never having to protect myself from the cruel world. As I look down, I can see the ground not so far from where I am. I guess that�s it I think as I imagine the sickening thud as my body crunches on impact. Suddenly, a great cloud of navy canvas engulfs me. My heart stops and I wonder if I�m in Heaven. Henry, who I hope will be my new boss, comes over and asks me, �Are you alright? That was quite a fall, but it was prefect. You�re hired!� I am happy to be alive, but I�m not sure if I want to do this for a living. I do have to admit, though, it was fun. Maybe I could like this whole stunt-double thing, at least until I find something better. I�m going to use my second chance at life. |