Weekend • August 9, 2003

2. A national football team that wins

3. Penthouse/Playboy magazines

4. Silence (does construction EVER stop in Singapore?)

5. $1.99 shops with 90% discount

6. All food outlets to get 24hr licences

7. Professional queue- standers for hire

8. The opening of Buangkok station

9. Odour-free durians

10. DVDs from JB

11. Bra-less movement to catch on

12. Free parking, everywhere!

13. Central air-con, on the streets

10 things Singaporeans DON'T want for their birthday:

1. Another Sars rap (or rap of any kind, ever)

2. CPF cuts

3. Retrenchments (from companies still making HUGE profits)

4. Out-of-tune buskers

5. Orchard Road polls/surveys/credit card pitches etc

6. Cat killing

7. Another golf course

8. Loud ring tones that massacre EVERY classic tune

9. 'Foreign' that isn't 'talent'

10. NTU statisticians who can't count

10 things Singaporeans get for their birthday whether they want them or not:

1. Repeats of Mr Bean

2. 10 renditions of the national anthem

3. Two-hour speeches

4. Interviews with National Day babies

5. Movie blockbusters on TV that we saw on Aug 9 last year

6. Government campaigns for litter, courtesy, spitting, cats, crows, etc

7. Local artistes performing heart-wrenching songs of love and patriotism

8. Grainy black and white footage of Singapore in the 60s

9. Singaporean/Malaysian ads on the water issue

10. Columns promising 38 gifts, but only giving 33 because they've run out of ideas

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