| 23rd December 2002 |
Thinking about 2002 There is so many things happen as usual. It's seem to be normal for my life that so many things happen in a very short time and life is up and down like I'm always in the roller coaster. Sometime I wish I could get out of the roller coaster and take a break. Ask me...am I happy today? The answer could be only NO...I'm so sad today Cause I spend lots of time with myself and all what I do is think and think and think. Think about what I have done with life. Think about my childhood. Think about friends and family. I found so many mistake I''ve done. Maybe...I think too much. Of course ...everybody must did something wrong before , cause nobody perfect. I know...I try to tell myself that I'm not so difference from others and I'm not that bad. Most of all...I miss you so much...Andrew! Hmm...sound like I don't know what I'm talking about today. Messy head, messy mind. Maybe ....I think my period is coming in a few days. I really don't understand why it's so effective with the emotion. If I can choose ...I will choose to born as a man and be gay. That's very good mixed. If I was born in another place maybe my opinion might be a little bit difference. But lucky that I was born in Thailand. Gay=Happy And it's really mean that way. :-) Bangkojk is a heaven of Gay...Chaing mai is home for ladyboys. Phuket and Pattaya are the place that they can make money happily with the lips-sing show OK....I know now...what I'm trying to say is...I'm so sad now. Cause I wanna go out and parties with my friends but they are all busy. And I cried a lot lately. I though about the last birthday of mine. I cried all day too for some reason. 2002 might not be the year that i like so much. 2001 maybe more fun...I had many bad time that year but also had many good time too. 2000 is the real roller coaster...best and worst in the same year. What will happen in 2003? Who knows? One thing I know is only it will be difference from this year ... from all the year that passed by. I will have mylife in another place...another society ...another world. It would be better cause I will be with the one that I love and together we will build up everything ...make a great future together. It's.........a........dream.......so.........far.......... Love is something beautiful when it could inspire you to do so many things... even something that really hard. With love ...you will make it happen somehow. I met some stranger this lately..cause my friends is not around. Some is interesting...some is very boring. Finally I go back home and have a conversation with myself. Seem like the girl in the mirror is only one who could be the best friend in the moment. Poor...Sin_derella! Don't you know that it's just a fairy tales...glass slipper is not exist ... and you will never become a princess. |