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| 20th July 2003 |
| Oops...! It's a big sapce of time on my journal again. Well... during the time that I'm not around, beleive me I have been thinking a lot till it's too much, then I couldn't come to any conclusion what I should write about. I came to the internet cafe regularly as usual but everytime I took a seat and start to write something, I get stuck. Voices,noises and people that walk in and walk out all the time interrupted my thoughts someway. For hours I could just sit and play game. Time fly fast and became such a waste but I still have to pay, tragedy! So...this one I wrote it at home before I come out to the cafe,should be better this way. I fought with myself a lot this lately, and frequently become a moody woman which I don't like at all. I took a phychologist test on line another day and in the result they said " if you answered yes more than 5 from these questions you should print it out and bring it to a doctor" and my result was... yes to all those 11 questions. Hoestly I did answer the truth. Well... maybe I should see doctor. Fortunately, I get some sleep last night (peacefully) and wake up early this morning, spend my day under clear blue sky, beautiful day. I look at the sky and try to clear out my mind. begin with find something, some kind of thoughts that bothering me. Think of it more carefully till I can see it clearly, try to understand and let it go. Finally I can let it go and I feel great! Hopefully I could stay in a good condition like this untill my birthday. In 4 days I will be 24, of course I feel old but I don't have any magic to stop my age at 20 forever.I wish I could :-) And if I still stay stable in a good mood I think I will have a party under the concept "BE GLITTERING" means everyone who will come to join the party must glittered themself in some way. I also think about game that everybody can join on the table. Since I'm a weird person so...people I know are varieties, but I don't wanna see friends have separate conversations with their own group too much, cause it will make me feel like " this is just another dinner that gather people I know in the same restaurant, it's not my party" Somewhere in town, all us will be glittered. Sound very gay... ha...ha.. I like it! |
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