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| 26th March 2003 |
| I wake up early again today....4am. Don't ask me why...I have no idea why should I wake up that early neither. But I did...and can't go back sleep again. So... I read...write something... do my laundry ...wash my hair ...etc. I wanna have my day under the sunlight tho...but there is not much sun today. Bangkok is grey... dark...with little rain. Too much free time... sleep less... eat less... I feel like I'm going crazy now. Day after day after day... nothing happen...and I'm totally alone. Eat ...sleep...internet...that's all I do for the last 3 weeks. This is bad... I think I will try to sleep at night again tonight...and tomorrow morning ...maybe I will go to the park ...watching old chinese people dance slowly... sound nonsense ...but those pictures can make me smile and inspire me someway. Or maybe go see some friends....thinking about friends... some of them make me really tried... I thought the relationship of friends are give and take but some of my friends they just take... A book that I read last night is about a 16yrs old girl who die with cancer. She was a good tennis player... she was a good daugther and sister ...she was very beautiful... unfortunately she got cancer and she realise that when it's too late. She decided to die quietly when doctors had tried everyway they could to help her.Before she die...she wrote many letters to people that she loved ... and now she waiting for them at her paradise. I didn't cry when I read that book tho... maybe I have been thinking too much about life and death...and can look at it with a very normal feeling now. I will cry when I read the book that people get hurt... cause I can symphathise on it more than die.... what do you think? "We will see each other again ... at my paradise" ( name of the book) |
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