| 3rd January 2003 |
| I've got this picture from a friend and he asked me to put on the diary So...here you get it! Anyway...I think it's beautiful and I must say THANK YOU There is something weird happen this lately Ever since I've asked for friends all the time somehow...unexpected friends came back to life A chinese man that I met in a coffee shop one afternoon in about 2 years ago ...called me A german man that I met in Khaosarn Rd in about 3 years ago ...also called me And I have met a friend from the internet ..last week The things is...they all come up with the discussion about life...their and mine Both chinese and german somewhat are in the confusion of life... I couldn't help anything much just listen and let them say what they wanna say at least I think that if they could release it somehow they might feel better About an old friend...gay friends...college friends I still haven't see them much Just meet two of them for dinner yesterday A new friend that I met last week also have a conversation with me about life But not his life ...mine mostly A long serious conversation in order to wake me up from dream... I knew I'm floating in dream...I try to wake up and face with the reality so many times tho But ...as you know...reality is not always beautiful There is no angel and fairies, not even a little magic Life is something complicated...and difficult to understand... I do accept the reality that I'm just an orphane ... just a girl who lost the way in such a big city dreaming for something that impossible Reality is able to accept ..but sometime I don't wanna face with it cause there is so much in the world that 's not beautiful like I dreamt about It's hurt badly to be awake and realise that slowly i saw myself become a pessimist Reality remind me that cinderella never exist...I don't wanna be exist in the real world then The weakest one is also the strongest one for some reason I mostly see myself weak... Cause I was born in the generation that I hardy understand what quality that strong one require? Selfish? Pessimist? Materialistic? I don't wanna be any of that tho Anyway...don't be worry ...I will find the way to be suvive in this world somehow I knew I must be strong and people have to do something that they don't like sometime I've done so many things that I hate before,just to keep myself alive To telling me the truth...you better kill me! Anyway...thanks for your concern and every advise that you gave me THANKS What's life means for you guys? pls send your answers to [email protected] Thank you. |
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