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| How Many Sequels Can Disney Squeeze In? | ||||
| I thought that Disney was finally through with sequels. I finally thought that they had milked every last dime out of their existing movies. Nearly every Disney animated movie has had a sequel, or even a threequel (including some movies based off stories that never had sequels). But then, along came Lion King 1 1/2. | ||||
| 1 1/2? What the hell? How can you make half a movie? Oh well, who cares if it's illogical and doesn't sound good? Disney needs gas money, and it'll be damned if it's gonna make something new for once. | ||||
| I wouldn't mind Disney's sequel craze so much if these movies were actually good. Alas, they are not. The plot is always carbon-copied from the original, but with little twists and some new characters thrown in. Disney knows that kids loved the originals, so they put minimal effort into the sequel, so they can get done with it and begin working on the next one. What we, the consumers, are left with, is more animated garbage to waste away a few hours with.. | ||||
| So without further adeiu, here's a list of possible sequels that Disney can begin cranking out: | ||||
| -The Little Mermaid 1 1/4: | ||||
| What happens between the two movies? The mermaid chick has her daughter, of course! Rated R for some steamy sex scenes. | ||||
| -The Jungle Book 1 19/20 | ||||
| This takes place just before Mowgli sets out on his new adventure. It's about five minutes long, and Disney forgot to add sound. | ||||
| -Aladdin 1/2 | ||||
| Tells about Aladdin and Jasmine's childhood. It's on par with Star Wars: Episode One for stupidity and relentless nostalgic references. | ||||
| -Toy Story 2 1/2 | ||||
| This tells about what happens to that miner guy in the second film. Disney's planning a spinoff series, called "That Miner Guy in the Second Film." | ||||
| -Lady and the Tramp 1 179/200 | ||||
| Tramp takes a shit. The songs in this one are somewhat disturbing. | ||||
| -57 Dalmations | ||||
| Roger decided that 102 Dalmations was a bit too many dogs in the house, so he decided to finish a few of them off. A little gory, since he was too stingy to put them all to sleep. | ||||
| What do you think? Will Disney use my ideas for some future fractionquels? I hope so, because sooner or later, Disney will go bankrupt with all the crap it's throwing at us. | ||||