"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal..."

"Attention everyone, this is principal Skinner. I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction. Now let's trash this dump."

"Martin Prince, report to my office at once, and bring that big juicy chess club brain of yours."

"Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. Some student, possibly Bart Simpson, has been circulating candy hearts featuring crude off color sentiments. Valentines Day is no joke..."

"Children, we've just been tipped off that Supt. Chalmers is planning a surprise inspection, so let's clean up this pig styy. On another topic, the following students have won mountain bikes: Bart Simpson, Jimbo Jones, Nelson Muntz. You may pick your bikes up in utility basement B. FOOLS!, ha ha ha....." "....oops, still on."

"Remain calm, there's a dog in the vents."

"Attention, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the principal's office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium."

"Attention students, it's time once again to choose a gym class for the coming term, so let's all prove how adult we can be by filing into the gym in a quiet and orderly manner."

"Students I have an announcement, one of your favorite comic book heroes, Radio Man...strange I should'nt have been able to hear that.....anyway, a hollywood studio has decided to film the radioactive man movie here in Springfield. And they will be holding auditions to find a local youngster to play fallout boy. Oh, and the air conditioner will be fixed this afternoon."

"Attention. This is an emergency broadcast, all is well in the school, my authority as principal is total."

"Yes, go to work with your parents day, tommorrow you will learn by doing, and apply your knowledge of fractions and gym to real world situations."

"...apparently the bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been cancelled due to confusion. Well, that concludes this morning's announcements, I'm Seymour Skinner and stand by to resume learning in 5---4---3---2---1."

"Bart Simpson report to the principal's office immediately"

"Bart Simpson to the principal's office, post haste."

"Attention. All honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archeological dig, conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archeological dig."

"Attention please. I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? Thank you Lisa."

"Lisa Simpson, report to the prinicipal's office to discuss the results of yesterday's quiz."