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SIMPSONS PROFILE : LISA SIMPSON
Name:
Lisa Simpson
Age: 8
Favourite Animals: Ponies
Most likely to say: "Stop
it Bart!"
IQ: Higher than Homer can
count.
Turn-ons: Women who have
resisted domination by the patriarchy
Current reading: 'Non-Threatening
Boys Magazine.'
Description: Lisa is evidently
the most intelligent member of the
Simpson family. She is misunderstood and overlooked, but talented and creative
with it. Her only respite from the toils of daily life, is playing her
saxophone, taught to her by her mentor, "Bleeding Gums" Murphy. She
feels she must have been adopted.
Hobbies: Playing the saxaphone, reading, going to school, and answering questions nobody asked. Some of Lisa's Achievements: Won the regional Reading Digest essay contest. Was briefly crowned "Little Miss Springfield" after the original one got struck by lightning. Co-created a doll named "Lisa Lionheart". Played goalie in pee-wee hockey. Discovered that town founder Jebediah Springfield was really names Hans Sprungfeld, a ruthless pirate. Helped Mr. Burns recover his lost fortune.
Funniest Quotes:-
"I am the Lizard Queen!"
"Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaa!"
"Milhouse, knock him down if he's in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!"
"If cartoons were
meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time."
"Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican."
"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."
"It's naive to think you can change a person--except maybe that boy who works in the library."
"Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!"
"Dad, is it all right to take things from people you don't like?"