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Barney Gumble
Full
Name: Barnard Gumble.
Age: 40.
Identity: Drunken barfly.
Occupation: None.
Source of Income: Is a Santa at the mall at Christmas, donates frequently at Springfield Sperm Bank and sucks coins out of the Love Tester machine.
Residence: Lives in a dingy apartment, but spends most of his time at Moe's.
Friends: Homer, Moe, Duff.
Catchphrase: A belch.
Past girlfriends: Philips (the woman Marge shared a cell with), went on a date with Selma Bouvier,Japanese conceptual artist.
Past shames: Dropped his cummerbund in the toilet at high school reunion; mistook a Girls Scout meeting for an AA meeting.
Favourite meal: Peanuts from the garbage can; beer from ashtrays.
Expert on: The sting of mace; cheese omelets; belching.
Previous jobs: Santa Claus at the mall, 'Plow King', member of the B-Sharps, worker at the Bowl-a-rama. Also tried out for a NASA space mission but was beaten by Homer.
Awards won: 1st prize in the Springfield film festival, for his film about his alcoholism entitled 'Pukahontas'.
Other activities: Competing to go into space; singing for big time barbershop groups; passing out.
Funniest Quotes :-
"Hey Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left!"
"David Crosby? You're my hero!"
"When I first heard about the operation, I was against it. But then I thought, if Homer wants to be a woman, so be it."
"Jesus must be spinning in his grave!"
"Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic."
"Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?"
"These fumes aren't as fun as beer. Sure, I'm all dizzy and nauseous, but where's the inflated sense of self-esteem?""
"Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!"
"Uh-Oh, Somebody smells stinky! Whoa, it's me!"
"I don't know where you pixies came from but I sure like your pixie drink!"
"Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something."