Xander Quotes
"Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him." -What's My Line? Part 2
"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away." -The Witch
"Calvary's here. Calvary's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here." -to Buffy in Becoming, Part 2
Buffy: Willow, grow
up. Not everything is about kissing.
Xander: Yeah, some things are about groping. *to Buffy* It wasn't about
groping... -"When She Was Bad"
Giles: The more I study the
Judge, the less I like him. His touch can literally burn the humanity out
of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process, no human ever
has.
Xander: So, what's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this thing
and we go for pizza! -"Surprise"
"Cordelia. I don't want to hurt you...some of the time..." -Bad Eggs
Xander: Angel?
Weird? What are the odds?
Willow: Do you think you should maybe tell Giles?
Buffy: I don't want to bug Giles. He's still twitchy about the
subject of Angel.
Xander: Must be that whole Angel-killed-his-girlfriend-and-tortured-him
thing. Giles is petty about stuff like that -"Amends"
"A Slayer? I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm the only one' was just an attention getter." -What's My Line? Part 2
"You don't hide. You're bait! Go act baity!" -to Cordelia in Anne
Cordelia: What's the plan?
Xander: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: Then what?
Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.
-"Anne"
Xander: Basically I got as
far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally.
So I ended up washing dishes at the fabulous Ladies' Night Club for about a
month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. Nobody really
bothered me or even spoke to me there until one night one of the male strippers
called in sick and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that
story. Suffice to say I traded my car for one that wasn't entirely made of
rust and came trundling back home to the arms of my loving parents and
everything was exactly as it was except I sleep in the basement and I have to
pay rent. How's college?
Buffy: Male strippers?
Xander: No power on this earth -"The Freshman"
Xander: I'm not enjoying
this.
Giles: Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish.
Xander: I don't get your crazy system!
Giles: My system? It's called the alphabet
Xander: Huh, would you look at that. -"The Harsh Light of
Day"
Buffy ran into someone after
coming out of Flutie's office. Xander helps her pick up her things.
Xander: Can I have you? Duh...heh... can I help you?
Buffy: *smiles* Thanks
Xander: I don't know you, do I?
Buffy: I'm Buffy, I'm new.
Xander: Xander. Is - is me, hi.
Buffy: Oh, thanks
Xander: Well, uh, maybe I'll see you around. Maybe at school since
we both...go there
Buffy: Great. It was nice to meet you *leaves*
Xander: We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic
-"Welcome to the Hellmouth"
Xander: Hey. Are you guys
busy? Can we interrupt? We're interrupting.
Buffy: Hey.
Jesse: Hey there.
Willow: Buffy, this is Jesse and
that's Xander
Xander: Oh, me and Buffy go way
back, very close. Then there was that period of estrangement where I think
we were both changing as people...but here we are and it's like old times.
I'm quite moved.
Jesse: Is it just me or are you
turning into a babbling idiot?
Xander: Oh, no, it's not you
Buffy: Well, it's nice to meet you
guys. I...think
Jesse: Well, you know, we wanted to
welcome you, make you feel at home...unless you have a scary home
Xander: And to return this *gets
out the stake she dropped in the hall* The only thing I can think is that you're
building a really little fence -"Welcome to the Hellmouth"
"I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good." -The Harvest