Sung to "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

On the first day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
A party with a stripper.

On the second day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Two turtlenecks
And a party with a stripper.

On the third day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the fourth day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the fifth day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the sixth day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the seventh day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Seven Snapes a stroking,
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the eighth day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Eight males a mingling,
Seven Snapes a stroking,
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the ninth day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Nine lads a downing,
Eight males a mingling,
Seven Snapes a stroking,
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the tenth day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Ten lovers licking,
Nine lads a downing,
Eight males a mingling,
Seven Snapes a stroking,
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the eleventh day at Hogwarts my roommate gave to me
Eleven Padfoots pimping,
Ten lovers licking,
Nine lads a downing,
Eight males a mingling,
Seven Snapes a stroking,
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper.

On the twelfth day at Hogwarts my roommmate gave to me
Twelve Dracos dripping,
Eleven Padfoots pimping,
Ten lovers licking,
Nine lads a downing,
Eight males a mingling,
Seven Snapes a stroking,
Six guys a laying,
Five gold cock rings!
Four choir boys,
Three French ticklers,
Two turtlenecks,
And a party with a stripper!