Title: Not Necessarily Wanting Me

Author: Lorien_Eve

Pairings: Harry/Ron, Ron/Draco

Disclaimer: All the characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowling. I dirtied them up a bit, but I promise to have them nice and clean when I give them back.

Spoilers: Everything

Rating: PG - NC-17; this chapter is PG.

Feedback: I'd love some!

Summary: Ron's in love with Harry, but he's afraid Harry will never feel the same way. Draco helps him forget - even if it's just for a little bit.

Genre: Romance, a little angst, a little drama

Author's Note: I wrote this story for NaNoWriMo back in November. After I went over my word count of 50,000, I set it aside and worked on some other things. The story isn't finished, but I'm still working on it and I'm a little over halfway done. I wanted to go ahead and post it to hopefully put pressure on myself to finish it. This has *not* been beta-ed. No way would I put my beta through such torture. I've read over it myself, but I know I missed a few things, so please excuse any typos and mistakes. I'm really bad at writing summaries, so don't judge the story by my description of it. It's better than it sounds. Honest.

The following week found Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down the sloping grounds to their Care of Magical Creatures class. The weather was becoming a bit cooler and the wind was picking up, billowing out their robes and blowing Hermione’s bushy hair into her mouth when she talked.

“The fozzies should be spinning their cocoons any day now,” she was saying. “I read in An Encyclopedia of Magical Monsters that their thin skin can’t handle the colder weather, so they make their cocoons and hibernate until spring.”

“Good. Maybe I can use this class to draw up my star charts for Astronomy,” Ron said. “I’ve got three Mercurys but no Neptune.”

“I’ll trade with you,” Harry said. “I’ve got two Neptunes, two Jupiters, but no Earth.”

“No Earth…” Ron said thoughtfully. “Yeah, that’s a problem.”

“Honestly,” Hermione said, “if you two would just use your telescopes and plot correctly with your compasses, you’d see that Neptune is in the Eastern sky when Mercury is in Saturn’s ninth house and Jupiter is in the Western sky when Venus is in Pluto’s twelfth house.”

Harry and Ron both looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language. They had no idea about houses, or numbers, or addresses.

They stopped in front of Hagrid’s hut and stared at the huge tanks that were sitting out in the yard.

“What are those?” Ron asked.

“Gournas!” Hagrid said happily, coming up from behind them. “They’re quaddick!”

“Don’t you mean ‘aquatic’?” Hermione said.

Hagrid’s thick eyebrows bunched up in confusion. “Er, right…”

Gournas were only slightly better than the fozzies. Though they remained in their tanks and didn’t have to be chased around the grounds, they were very active, swimming busily and splashing water all over the students’ robes. Parvati screeched when one of the creatures did a spectacular dive and soaked her from head to toe. Secretly, Ron decided that he liked the gournas after all.

****

Ron had been keeping a close eye on Malfoy throughout the lesson, so when he, Harry, and Hermione were walking back up to the castle, he wasn’t surprised to find that the Slytherin was trailing them closely. Draco’s paces increased until he had passed the trio, then he spun around in front of them, blocking their entrance into the castle. Ron stopped and held his breath, painfully hoping that Malfoy wouldn’t speak too boldly in front of Harry.

“Weasley…” Draco said lazily, “I was perusing the fine assortment of educational literature we have here in the library, and I came across one that you would not only find interesting, but beneficial as well.”

Ron’s eyes narrowed, expecting the usual insult.

“Stephano Stumbler’s Guide to Stopping Stuttering,” Draco continued. “You’ll find it on the bottom row, three shelves down from the section on Magical History. I highly recommend it.”

“Piss off, Malfoy,” Harry spat, stepping forward. “Ron doesn’t stutter.”

“That’s what you think,” Draco said coolly before turning on his heel and walking into the castle.

“What was that all about?” Harry asked, turning to Ron.

“Nothing,” Ron lied. “I’ve got no idea what he’s talking about.”

****

Ron successfully avoided Malfoy until later than evening at dinner. He tried not to look at the Slytherin table, but his eyes were inevitably drawn there, as if some magnet were pulling at his corneas, demanding that he watch.

Towards the end of the meal, Draco's eyes caught his. Draco knew that Weasley had been watching him throughout dinner but he chose to ignore it, wanting to see how desperate the red-headed twit would become when his gaze wasn’t returned. At last Draco locked eyes and gestured to the foyer with a slight move of his blonde head. Ron understood the message immediately, made up some lame excuse, and left the Gryffindor table.

“Has your brainless arse been to the library today?” Draco asked when Ron exited the Great Hall and walked up to him.

Ron looked at him incredulously, like the library would’ve been the last place he’d ever go. “No.”

“Must be the requisite Gryffindor stupidity,” Draco said, almost to himself. Then turning back to Ron, “It’s in your best interest to look at that book, Weasley. Page 536, in particular. I won’t tell you again.” He raised his eyebrows at Ron before turning and walking away.

Ron rushed to the library, not sure why he was actually listening to Malfoy, and kicking himself in the arse for doing so. At least most of the other students were still at dinner and he was unlikely to get caught.

****

Madame Pince eyed him suspiciously when he walked in, but he needed to know where the book was and he didn’t have time to waste looking for it.

“Um, excuse me,” he started, “I was looking for a book on stuttering. Close to the History section, I believe.”

Madame Pince glared at him for a moment through her spectacles, making him feel uncomfortable. But then she spoke and said, “Isle 7, row 13, shelf 22.”

Ron muttered a quick ‘thanks,’ and jutted off, trying to find the mentioned section before the rest of the students came back.

“Isle 5…isle 6…isle 7. Great,” Ron whispered to himself in relief. He scanned the rows until reaching the far end, which ended at ten.

“Fuck,” he muttered, retracing his steps and scanning the opposite row this time.

He found row 13 halfway down the isle, and counted 22 shelves down. There it was, just like Malfoy had told him - Stephano Stumbler’s Guide to Stopping Stuttering.

What page number had Malfoy mentioned? Ron’s head was full of numbers -7, 13, 22, 56, 81, 512, 619, 438 - and he couldn’t remember. He scanned the table of contents, hoping something there would trigger a memory. When nothing struck him, he fanned through the pages, hoping his eyes would catch something.

It wasn’t until he was almost at the end of the book that he found a small, folded piece of parchment. He unfolded it, pressing it against the pages of the book. It was a note, written in a neat, flowing manuscript.

Tonight, twelve o’clock, Astronomy Tower

It was Malfoy’s writing, obviously. Page 536. Ron would have to remember that. He shoved the note into his pocked and strolled out of the library, hoping he’d get out before he ruined his reputation by being seen there.

****

Ron put forth futile attempts at completing his homework in the common room that evening. Harry caught him several times, staring off into space and answering blandly whenever he was asked a question. All he could think about was the meeting he was sure to have with Malfoy. Why that made him so distracted, he couldn’t understand. It was sure to be a trick, something to lure him out late at night, leading to a deduction of points from Gryffindor.

But what if it wasn’t? What if it was something like the previous experiences? The ones that stapled themselves in his mind, causing pricks of pain, forcing him to relive those times so vividly that it almost hurt.

At half past eleven, Ron watched the crowd in common room thin out, most of the students closing their books and giving up homework for the night. Harry, though, was still scribbling a report on newts and what they contributed to potion-making.

“Aren’t you done yet?” asked Ron.

Harry laid his quill down and sighed. “I’ve only got three rolls and Snape wants five. I’ve rewritten it twice already.”

Ron became frustrated, wanting Harry to go upstairs so that he wouldn’t have to explain his abrupt departure.

“You can borrow Hermione’s, can’t you?” he asked.

“She got assigned frog spawn,” said Harry. “Snape’s a git, but he’s not stupid.”

“Oh,” said Ron, forgetting that Snape had delegated specific ingredients to each of them. “But she could probably help you with it.”

“She went upstairs. I wouldn’t catch her until tomorrow, and that’d be too late.”

Ron was frustrated. How was he going to get rid of Harry?

“I think Seamus wanted to talk to you about something,” he said suddenly.

“I saw him earlier, but he didn’t say anything,” said Harry, looking confused. “Got any idea what it was about?”

“No, uh, he didn’t say. Just said it was very important.” Ron hoped he sound sincere.

“I guess I should see what he wants,” mumbled Harry, closing his Potions book and going upstairs to find Seamus.