See chapter one for warnings, disclaimers, etc.

Title: Missed Chances - 3-4/5
Author: Lena

Summary: Pg. 542 (U.S. edition). It had been only a few weeks, since Christmas and Harry just finished his first Occlumency lesson with Snape at Hogwarts. Ron found Harry on the floor of the dormitory, laughing hysterically, clutching his forehead. After Ron roused Harry, he helped him to his bed, looking at him very worriedly.

“Are you gonna be all right?” Ron said.

Harry closed his eyes for a moment and said, “I dunno.” He clutched his forehead again.

Ron was standing over him, his brow crinkled up in concern. Harry was lying on his bed in his clothes, but he just didn’t have the energy to get up and change. He tried to move his feet to kick off his runners, but was having no success.

“Ron, take off my shoes, please?” Harry was not in any kind of mental state at the moment to be concerned for Ron’s feelings.

He knew Ron was still trying to ignore the vibes that kept passing between them in the last few weeks. Harry knew he had been a bit mean, teasing Ron with touches the last few weeks, after it was obvious Ron liked him...a lot.

Ron didn’t say anything, but Harry felt one foot being lifted up and the runner pulled off.

Harry whispered, “Thanks.” The other shoe was pulled off and Harry heard Ron drop them to the floor.

Harry heard Ron say in a soft, soothing voice, “It’s okay, mate. Do you want help...out of your clothes?”

Harry could hear the hesitation in Ron’s voice. “No, I’ll be fine.”

Ron said, “Yeah...well...I’m glad Hermione made me come check on you.”

Harry said, “Yeah”, and finally pulled his hands away from his forehead. He knew that his eyes were watery because of the pain in his head. He hoped Ron wouldn’t think he was crying.

Ron was still looking at him. He was practically wringing his hands. Harry said, “Don’t worry, Ron.”

Ron turned and paced back and forth beside Harry’s bed. “I don’t care what Hermione says, I don’t like these lessons with Snape. I’ll never trust him!”

Harry tried a half smile, but his headache made his face feel like it was going to split open. Harry said, “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Ron turned back to Harry; his face was pinched in fury. “I just hate this, that you have to go through this, that your head hurts all the time, that...You-Know-Who.... that...I...it...you...” Ron was so angry that he ended up just spitting out nonsensical words.

Harry knew Ron just cared about him, but he was getting more exhausted listening to him. He wished Ron would shut up, lie down next to him and just comfort him.

Ron kept quiet for a moment, reached over and touched Harry’s hand. “I’m sorry, Harry. I’m just...I...er...well...” Harry was amused that Ron seemed to be having trouble with basic language.

Harry still didn’t understand what his crazy hormones were doing and how he could like Cho as well. He was going to Hogsmeade with her and he was looking forward to it. But, what was it about Ron that made him turn into a puddle? It was frustrating, and with his hideous headache, Harry really couldn’t deal with it.

Ron pressed his hand harder on Harry's. Harry shut his eyes. Without letting himself think too much, he scooted over, making room on the bed for Ron, if he wanted to take the hint.

Ron let go of Harry's hand and slipped off his robe, letting it drop to the floor. Ron crawled into bed lying on top of the covers as Harry was. Ron rested his hand on Harry's forehead. His hand felt soft and cool on Harry’s face.

Harry kept his eyes closed, as Ron touched his hair, moving it out of Harry's eyes. Harry's insides were tense and he tried to breath normally to calm himself. Neither Harry nor Ron said a word.

Harry finally started to relax. Ron's touches were making him drowsy. He thought he felt something brush his cheek, but he was falling into unconsciousness. Harry drifted away to thankful sleep.

A few hours later

Unusual that it was, Ron woke up in the middle of the night. He was still lying next to Harry, with his arms wrapped around Harry's shoulders. Harry's face was pressed up against Ron's chest, smothered in his maroon jumper.

Ron wriggled himself a few inches from a still sleeping Harry. He hadn't meant to fall asleep next to Harry, but he wasn't too unhappy that it happened. He was glad he had drawn the bed curtains, though, before he had fallen asleep.

Ron felt a twang of jealousy when Harry had told him that he was going to Hogsmeade with Cho, but since he hadn’t given Harry any reason not to go, Ron just kept quiet. Ron wondered how Harry could obviously have feelings for him, but also for Cho.

Ron knew he had been silly in the last few weeks, ignoring the obvious between Harry and him. He hadn't initiated any conversation about it. Ron kept vacillating between wanting more from Harry, then not, because he knew Harry wasn’t willing to be open about his feelings.

Ron looked down at Harry’s face. His eyes were shut, but Harry’s lips were opened in a slight pout. Ron licked his own lips, unable to pull his eyes away from Harry’s lips. He decided at that moment what he wanted from Harry.

He started to shake a little, so he pulled Harry closer. As he did, Harry’s eyes popped open. Ron saw them at the last second, as he was pulling Harry towards him.

Harry said, “What?”

Ron pushed Harry away so fast, that Ron lost his balance on the edge of the bed and slipped through the curtains, landing on the floor. Harry poked his head through the curtains and stared at Ron, who scrambled to stand up.

Ron looked away from Harry and mumbled, “Sorry.”

Harry pulled the curtains to one side and said, “Sorry for what? Falling asleep? It’s all right. Thanks for staying. I actually got a few hours of sleep.”

Ron whispered, “Oh...good...”

Harry said apprehensively, “Do you want to...go to your own bed now?”

Ron didn't want to go to his own bed and the thought of it upset him. He choked out, “Shush, Harry! The other guys!”

Harry whispered, “Sorry...”

Ron snatched his robe off the floor in frustration, where he left it the few hours before. Ron whispered harshly, “Oh, Harry, just...just...oh, get Cho to comfort you, if she not too busy crying!”

Harry looked at Ron with his mouth hanging open. “But, but...Ron...I...”

Half of him felt bad for being mean to Harry, the other half didn’t care, and he didn't feel like being reasonable.

Ron walked to his own bed and flopped upon it, miserable.

Harry got out of his own bed and followed Ron. Harry grabbed Ron’s arm and whispered, “What is your problem?”

Ron glowered at him. He yanked his arm away from Harry. He was furious at Harry for acting so stupid. “You know damn well what my problem is!”

“Shut up, you want the whole dorm to know?”

“Who cares? This is so stupid!” Ron hissed.

There was a stirring body in a bed across the room. Both boys looked in the direction of the noise.

Harry turned back and whispered, “Look, Ron, we can’t talk here.”

Ron turned his body so he was facing the wall. He was intent on ignoring Harry.

Harry grabbed Ron’s arm again and whispered, “Ron, let’s talk in the loo.”

Ron tried to pull his arm away again, but Harry had a very firm grip on it.

Harry pleaded, “Please.” Ron turned back to Harry and said, “Why should I...”

Harry whispered, “Come on.”

Ron looked at the begging look on Harry’s face and the anger dissolved. Ron was disgusted at how sappy he was for Harry.

Harry kept a hold of Ron’s arm as they walked to the loo. Harry let go of Ron’s arm as they walked in. Ron turned and quietly shut the door.

Both boys started speaking the second the door was closed.

“Ron...”

“Harry...”

Ron stopped and just stared at Harry. He didn’t understand why Harry let him touch and hold him and then push him away. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He heard Harry say, “Ron, look, I’m totally confused. I don’t know what to do.”

Ron kept his eyes closed. “I do.”

Harry sounded a little exasperated. “Ron, I can't.”

Ron’s heart dropped. “Why? Is it Cho?” Ron knew he sounded pathetic.

Harry shook his head no. “It’s not that, exactly. I’m not sure about her either.” Ron’s face fell in disappointed.

Harry continued, “It’s not you, it’s me. I told you, I’m really confused about...”

Ron rolled his eyes. Great, it’s the ‘it’s not you, it’s me' speech.

Harry said, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Ron's emotions were always on the surface and impossible to rein in. Ron didn’t know how he was going to ignore his feelings, but he didn’t want to lose Harry as a friend. He decided the only thing to do was to suppress his emotions once again.

Ron said dully, “Yeah, okay, that’s probably best.” Ron didn't mean what he was saying. He was absolutely crushed. Ron knew Harry was never going to feel the same for him.