Title - Getting Away 1/14
Author - Lena
Pairing - Harry/Ron, Harry/various OC's (slash and het), Ron/OC (slash)
Rating - this chapter - PG-13
Feedback - [email protected]
For warnings, disclaimers, etc. please see chapter 0/14
This chapter is a bit of a rehash, catching everyone up on the first story “Getting Away”.
Chapter One - Home
The postman had wandered the countryside for a bit, before he found the Burrow. He had a very confused look on his face. Mr. Weasley had been home, luckily, and had answered the door.
The postman stood there with one letter in his hand and asked, “Um, is this the ‘Burrow’?
“Why, yes, may I help you?” Mr. Weasley asked.
“Is there a Harry Potter here? I have a letter for him.” The postman said.
“Oh, really? Who are you?” Mr. Weasley said.
The postman looked startled. Then said, “I am an officer with the Royal Mail and I have a letter for Mr. Harry Potter.”
Mr. Weasley clapped his hands and said, “How wonderful! May I ask you a few questions?”
“I supposed…” The postman said.
“Let me get Harry first though.” Mr. Weasley called out, “Harry! Harry!”
Harry came downstairs in a hurry. “Yes, Mr. Weasley?”
“You have a letter from the Royal Mail!!” Mr. Weasley said, excitedly.
Harry hoped it was from Ron, but he figured it must not be, if Mr. and Mrs. Weasley hadn’t said anything about where it was from. He walked to the door and took it from the postman. “Thank you.” He looked at it and it was a letter from Laura. He was pleased, nonetheless.
Mr. Weasley said to the postman, “Would you like to come in for some tea?”
“I shouldn‘t. I have more mail to deliver.” He gestured to the sack of mail over his shoulder.
“You have more to deliver?” Mr. Weasley stepped towards the postman and asked, “Can I come with you?”
The postman stepped back and said, “Uh, I don‘t think so. See, I have to deliver the mail and…”
Mr. Weasley called back to Mrs. Weasley, “I’ll be back!”
“Don’t be too long, dear!” Mrs. Weasley called.
Mr. Weasley stepped out of the house and shut the door behind him, as he chatted to the postman. Harry chuckled to himself, feeling a bit sorry for the postman.
Harry looked down at his letter and turn it over to open it. He pulled out the two sheets of paper and began to read them. She wrote about her trip back to New York and how she was doing in college. She mentioned how she missed him and looked forward to seeing him again.
Harry smiled and tucked the letter in his pocket. He turned to go upstairs. Mrs. Weasley said, “Nice letter, dear?”
“Yes, it’s from a friend I met in the States.” Harry said.
“That’s nice. Have you or Hermione heard from Ron?” She did not look at him, but just continued fiddling with the breakfast dishes.
“No, we haven’t. Sorry.” Harry said, unhappily.
“Neither have we, as you know. I wish he would contact us somehow.” Harry looked at the back of her head. He knew she was more upset than she was trying to let on, but he didn’t know what to say to her.
He went back upstairs to read his letter again and wonder why Ron had not contacted any of them.
Harry had been home for a few weeks from his and Ron’s vacation and he and Ron had not corresponded in all that time, except for the call Harry had made when he got home. They had never gone this long without talking to one another, except for the time in their fourth year at Hogwarts. Harry sat down on his bed and sighed to himself.
Harry thought about finding a telephone in London or going to the Grangers’ to call Ryan’s house, but he hadn’t got around to it and wasn‘t even sure Ron wanted him to call. Harry knew he could not send Hedwig with a note. It would cause too much attention to have a white owl fly in and out of the home of a famous baseball player and his British boyfriend.
He knew Ron could not call him. He had such trouble with the concept of a telephone, besides there would be no way for Ron to call at the Burrow. But he did wondered why Ron could not ask Ryan to help him mail a letter. Harry wondered if Ryan was keeping Ron from contacting him.
Harry remembered the conversation and had wondered more than once if Ryan had been sitting there when Harry and Ron had said the things they did over the phone. Harry remembered back to the phone call…
The phone rang on the other end a few times, before a man answered. "Hello?"
Harry said, "Ron?"
"No...who is this?" The man sounded apprehensive. Harry thought maybe it was Ryan, but he did not quite sound like himself.
"Uh...it is Harry. Is this Ryan?"
The man sighed in relief. "Oh, Harry. Hi! Yeah, it is Ryan. I am sorry. I just have to be careful."
Harry said, "Oh, I understand. How are you doing?"
Ryan said, "Good. Want to speak to Ron?"
Harry said, "Yes, thank you!" He heard Ryan hand Ron the phone.
Ron said happily, "Hi ya, Harry! Have a good time home?"
Harry said, "Yes, how are you?"
Ron said, "I’m all right." He sounded happy, but then lowered his voice and asked, "How's Mum?"
Harry said, "Um...crying, but she will be okay. do not worry."
Ron said, "'Kay." He was quiet.
Harry continued, "Hey, Hermione is here. Want to talk to her?"
Ron said excitedly, "Yes! Oh, yes!"
Harry handed the phone to Hermione who said into the receiver, "Hi, Ron!"
She looked at Harry and smiled. She murmured in agreement to whatever Ron was saying and she could not really get a word in. Finally she said, "Well, I guess you are doing okay!"
There was another long pause and she then said, "Ron, I am really happy for you."
After another pause, she said, "Good bye, Ron. See you in a few months." She handed the phone back to Harry.
Harry said, "Hey, I got copies of our pictures. Want me to send you copies?"
Ron said, "Oh, yeah, thank you mate!"
Harry said, "Okay." He was quiet and he realized he and Ron were doing the same thing they had done at the airport. Not wanting to say good bye.
Ron cleared his throat. He then said, "Well..."
Harry gulped and said, "Yeah."
Ron said, "Okay..."
Harry's hand shook a little and he said in a quivering voice. "I suppose..."
Ron said, "Yeah. Harry?"
Harry said, "Yeah, Ron?"
Ron's voice got squeaky, as always when he was upset or nervous. "I can’t say it again, Harry. I just can’t say good bye to you!"
Harry said, "I can’t either."
Ron said, "Then what do we do?"
Harry pondered for a second, then said, "Did you say, 'love you' at the airport?"
Ron got quiet, then said, "Yes."
Harry said, "Say it again."
Ron said, "What?"
Harry repeated, "Say it again."
Ron hesitated, but then said, "Okay...Love you..."
Harry said forcefully, "Love you, too, Ron." Harry immediately hung up the phone before either of them could say another word. His heart ached. For a brief second, he thought of calling Ron back and telling him he had made a mistake. That he loved him and wanted him, that he had made a mistake. But Ron was with Ryan and Harry had made his decisions.
Harry knew he loved Ron even if he was not sure he liked other men that way. He knew he had much to sort out and knew he needed to spend a little while doing just that, but that didn‘t stop him missing Ron.
*****
Harry lay in bed the next morning, thinking about when he and Ron said good bye. It had been so obvious to anyone, there was more feelings between he and Ron than just really good friends. Harry wasn’t sure why that happened at the airport. Why had his heart hurt so bad when he left Ron? Or was it that Ron left him?
Then it was all reiterated over the phone when Harry got home. Harry had asked Ron to say it again and he did. To say he loved him. And Harry had said it back. Harry wasn’t sure what it meant. The more Harry would think about it, the more he thought he loved Ron, yet the more confused he was about it.
He and Ron had always been best mates, yet this last vacation, Harry and Ron had had fun, but argued more than usual. Besides Harry liked girls. He loved Ron like a brother, didn’t he? But then he had never had a brother, so Harry was not sure how that was supposed to feel either.
But he knew Ron was happy and Harry…well, he wanted other things. He had been so sure of everything when he came home, though Hermione kept raising her eyebrows at him, claiming he was not as happy as he insisted.
The more time elapsed from his trip, he didn’t know what to think or how to handle the situation and the more he wasn’t sure about his feelings towards Ron and the reasons why, he missed him terribly.
He continued to run these thoughts in his mind over and over until it left him exhausted and upset.
He remembered the first time Ron had been angry at him for his confusion. He and Ron had gone to a party while they were on vacation and Harry has done some things he now regretted.
Harry woke in the morning in an unfamiliar bed. He moaned as he started to remember the night before. He remembered being offered rum punch and then...he moaned again.
He felt like he was being suffocated. He slowly opened his eyes. He saw someone else's arm over his face and he realized he did not have a stitch of clothing on. Uh, oh. He felt something touching him on either side. He looked on one side and saw a girl. Hillary. He looked on the other side and saw a guy. Tommy. Oh, no. What the hell had happened?
He thought about trying not to wake these people, but he had to get out of bed and fast, so he just jumped out of the bed and scrambled to find his clothes on the floor. The people just moaned and moved closer to each other.
Then when he returned to the hotel, he had to deal with an upset Ron.
He opened the door and Ron was sitting on his bed watching television. Ron did not look up at him. He just said, “About fucking time.”
Harry dumped everything on the chair and sat on his own bed. Harry knew he was about to ask a really stupid question, but he asked anyway. He did not want to deal with what he suspected was coming. “Paul said you are mad at me. What did I do?”
Ron said through gritted teeth, “Nothing. You just had a good time, didn’t you?”
Harry said, “ I do not know. I embarrassed you?”
Ron finally looked at him and Harry could tell he was really angry, probably angrier than he had even been. “Harry, what you do is your business.”
“Ron, please...don’t be mad.” Harry pleaded.
Ron yelled, “Harry, you have always told me you are straight. Are you, really?”
Harry’s stomach churned. He said, “Yes, I am. I’m straight. You know that.”
Ron shouted, “Then why were you snogging that guy last night?”
Harry whispered, “I don’t know...I was drunk.”
“Right...you are pathetic.” Ron said, nastily.
Harry was getting angry back now. “Look, I’m straight. I am.”
Ron yelled again, “Quite bloody saying it, okay, I believe you. Look, snogging a guy does not make you queer, okay, so stop worrying!”
Harry yelled back, “I don’t think that. Anyway, if it is no big deal, why are you yelling at me?”
Ron stood up with his fists clenched. He shouted, “Because you stupid git, if you are going to kiss a guy, it should be ME!”
Harry was speechless. Ron stomped across the room and walked out, slamming the door behind him, for at least the third time on their trip.
Harry lay back on his bed, rolled over and curled up in a ball, holding his head. He knew that Ron had always feelings for him, but they had never talked about them. Now, he really did not know what to think or what to say to Ron.
Then when Ron returned, Harry knew he had to start to confront Ron’s feelings for him. And his own for Ron.
Ron finally returned in the late afternoon. As he walked in the room, he tossed a newspaper to Harry. "You said you wanted a paper yesterday. I am sorry, Harry."
Harry had been laying in bed on top of his covers, staring at the television. He lifted himself up in a sitting position and said, "For what? I am the one who should be sorry, Ron." Harry was relieved that Ron wasn’t angry anymore. He didn’t ask why. He guessed Ron just went to cool off, like he always did when he was upset.
Ron swallowed hard and said, "For making you uncomfortable. I just wish I could love you that way, not just as friends, you know."
Harry blurted out nervously, "Ron...I will...kiss you if you want me to." Harry did not want Ron to think that he had liked that idiot Tommy more than him. Ron was worth kissing, just like he had been worth touching years before.
Ron looked surprised and said, " No. I don’t want you to. You really don’t feel that way."
Harry was conflicted with what he wanted, but he knew he did love Ron. "Ron, I care for you."
Ron said, "I know, but you don’t love me."
Harry said quickly, "Yes, I do!" Harry knew he really did.
Ron said, "You know what I mean."
Harry said softly, “Yes, I do.“ Harry got up and walked over to Ron. Harry leaned into him and put his arms around his waist. Harry could feel the apprehension coming from Ron's body.
"Harry, don’t." Ron said, softly.
Harry looked up at him and remembered far back to the few times when they had been very young and had touched each other in curiosity and comfort. It had felt good and felt right. "Ron, it’s okay."
Ron moved his arms around Harry and pressed him close. Harry moved his head up and stared at Ron. Ron looked at him with longing, but hesitation. Ron reached down and moved his lips softly against Harry’s. Harry felt a pang of guilt. He wanted to love Ron just because he was...Ron, but he was suddenly frightened at the prospect of things going too far with Ron, when Harry really wanted other things.
Ron seemed to sense something, because after a moment, he pulled his lips away from Harry. He looked down at him. Ron said, “This isn’t right. We aren’t kids anymore, Harry. We want different things.”
Harry said, “So you think our friendship is changing, too?”
Ron said, “Yeah.”
Harry said, “So do I. I guess because we have grown up.”
Ron looked down and said, “Yeah, but it is too bad. I think we could have been kids a little longer if it hadn’t been for Voldemort.”
Now Harry looked away from Ron, but still held him close. “I suppose, but this conversation was inevitable?”
Ron glanced back up. “You mean, my feelings for you?”
Harry said, “Yeah.” Harry did not really know what to say. He felt he was being a little lame, not admitting some of the things going on in his head.
Ron finally pulled his arms from Harry and looked past him at the wall and said, “I guess.”
Harry was a little upset at himself for not having more courage. He whispered, "Sorry, Ron."
Harry had a feeling there was more to Ron, under the surface, but he felt guilty and didn’t think he wanted to hear what else Ron had to say. So he just stood there quietly, watching Ron’s face.
Ron’s face looked deep in thought, but he just whispered, "It’s okay, mate."
*****
Harry sighed as he heard Mrs. Weasley call him to breakfast. He slowly got up, and only decided to get up because he knew Mrs. Weasley would eventually come upstairs to get him. He got dressed and quickly look at his poster, the one he bought at the art museum. He still loved it as much as when he bought. It still reminded Harry of courage and of Ron. Which lately was making him wonder, more than enjoying the artwork.
He walked downstairs to the kitchen. It was already late, so only Mrs. Weasley was there. Harry slid into a chair at the large table. He looked down at the plate of steaming porridge. He was not very hungry this morning. He felt like going back to bed.
He could feel Mrs. Weasley staring at him. He choked down a few swallows of porridge.
“I miss Ron,” Mrs. Weasley said softly.
Harry’s spoon stopped mid-air towards his mouth. He put it down in the bowl, but did not say anything.
“You miss him, Harry. I can tell.” Mrs. Weasley said.
Harry kept looking into the bowl of porridge. He realized his eyesight was blurry, though he had his glasses on. He sat there until the first tear dripped, catching on the edge of his glasses, then landing on the porridge. He bolted from the table and ran upstairs.
“Harry!” called Mrs. Weasley.
Harry slammed the door and threw himself on the bed. He wasn’t mad at Mrs. Weasley. He was incredibly sad, but he just could not understand why. How could he miss Ron that much?
He remembered when Ron told him he was considering staying in the States with Ryan.
Ron looked down and said softly, “I think so. Harry, we have talked about staying together. You know, me staying here until the baseball season is over...it is only another month...” Ron’s voice tapered off.
Harry said sharply, “Ron! What about your job? And you would have to live with Muggles, not being able to use magic!” Harry was concerned because he just had not really realized how serious the relationship had gotten so fast. Even though Ron had said he loved Ryan, Harry hadn’t really believed it.
Ron said, “So? We haven’t used magic for a week now and anyway...I work for my Dad, Harry, who cares about my job...” Then Ron looked up at Harry and yelled, “And besides, you are the one who introduced us! What did you want to happen? For me to have a fling? To forget you?”
Harry sighed. He said quietly, “I thought we sorted this out. I just thought you two would like each other.” Harry knew they really had not sorted anything out, but, since he hadn’t wanted to deal with Ron and his conflicted feelings, Harry had tried to put it out of his own confused mind.
Harry’s voice got louder, “And I thought maybe you guys could visit each other or something, I don’t know, I didn’t think that far ahead. God, Ron, I didn’t know you were going to fall for someone in record time!!”
Harry knew he was being a little cruel and was thinking about himself and not what was best for Ron. A question floated through his head. Was he jealous that Ron was having a relationship with someone other than him? He quickly dismissed the notion.
Ron yelled, “I can’t help what I feel or when!”
Harry said meanly, “Really? About me or Ryan?”
Ron threw the closest thing he had at Harry and that was only a pair of jeans. They landed at his feet. Ron said, “That is it. I am going to do what I want! Not you or my mother or anyone can tell me what to do anymore!”
Harry yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you? You know you do go on a lot of...dates! Sorry if I can’t be convinced that this will last."
Ron narrowed his eyes and said, "Are you calling me a...slut?"
Harry did not want to come out and say it, because he knew Ron would go over the edge. "Well...no..."
Ron said, "Really, you sound convincing..." He continued sarcastically, "Bloody interesting talk from someone who has been, let’s see, arrested for coming on to a cop and slept with two people in the last week! How many was that, yes, two people at-the-same-time!"
Harry knew when Ron's sarcasm reared its ugly head it could be viscous. Harry did not bother to add that he’d also had sex with some bartender, whose name he never knew. He knew he was being a jerk, but just decided to ignore it, as usual. He said calmly, "God, Ron, you really do hate me for being straight, don’t you?"
Ron did not say anything. Then Ron said, in a voice so low, Harry had to really listen to hear him. "Sometimes. But sometimes, Harry, I don’t believe you are..."
Harry tried to calm himself down further, as he ignored the last comment. He did not want Ron to leave mad like this. Harry said, “You can do what you what, but decide because you really love him and not because you are just trying to get away from me.”
Harry knew he had softened Ron, because his face seemed to crumble. Ron sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. “Harry...” Ron’s voice cracked. “Harry, I am not trying to get away from you. I just have been trying to figure out who I am for so long, between being the youngest son, and your best friend, and trying to figure out my sexuality...and I know...it is the same old boring complaining...I am sick of it myself...”
Harry sat down next to Ron and put his arm around Ron’s shoulder. Ron continued,” With Ryan, he treats me like I am...just me...I am Ron. That’s why I want to tell him, so he knows all about me...”
Ron pulled his hands from his face and looked at Harry, “I don’t want to lose our friendship...but I go back and forth between loving you for being my best friend and wanting more and hating you because of all the crap we had to go through with Voldemort and you not wanting me the same way I’ve wanted you for years...”
Harry whispered, “For years?"
Ron said, “Of course. The times when we were young, I know you did it out of curiosity. As for me, I loved you.“
Harry felt so bad. He knew he was pretty stupid, too. He had been toying with Ron’s feelings for years and did not even realize it or if he had, he had just ignored it, like everything else in his life. Then they had kissed over the weekend and Harry had hoped that would be the end of it, when in reality there was much more under the surface that he was unwilling to deal with. Harry said, “I am sorry.”
Ron said, “You don’t have to be sorry.”
“Ron, I don’t ever want to stop being friends“
Ron said, “Harry, it’s just something I have to sort out.“
Harry said, “But I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t, Harry.” Ron said.
This vacation had brought out feelings and thoughts about themselves and each other, that forced them to realize that growing up meant their friendship was going to be changed forever.