Title:  Days of Awe
Author:  Lorien_Eve
Pairing:  Harry/Ron
Rating:  PG
Genre:  Drama/Angst
Archive:  You’re more than welcome, just let me know!
Spoilers:  Just from OotP.
Disclaimer:  They’re all J.K. Rowling’s.  Sadly, not one of them belongs to me.  I promise, the books would have a much different rating if they did!
Feedback:  Yes, please!
Summary: Harry and Ron are separated in a battle against an army of Death Eaters. Harry thinks Ron’s dead. Ron thinks Harry’s not coming back. They find consolation in other people and places. Lives are changed and loves are destroyed when they meet again.

Author’s notes: A huge thanks to Lena, who, only through dedication and a strong stomach, was able to beta some of the later chapters.

Man has places in his heart which do not yet exist, and into them enters suffering in order that they may have existence.
-Leon Bloy



“Hey, Harry, look at this.  They caught another Death Eater.”

Harry looked up from the parchment on his desk.  Ron was leaning against his cubicle, smiling down at him with a paper clutched in his hand.

“Really?  Where?” Harry asked.

“Somewhere in Bristol.  He’s one of the ones Moody’s been trailing,” Ron said, dodging a flying memo that whizzed past his right ear.

“Who was it?”

“Dolohov. Remember him?” Ron laughed bitterly.

Antonin Dolohov had been one of the Death Eaters who had attacked Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna Lovegood in the Department of Mysteries during Harry’s fifth year.

“A little too well,” Harry said blandly, taking the sheet of paper from Ron.

“Well, anyway, I’ve got to get back to work.  Just thought you’d like to know,” Ron said.

He bent down to give Harry a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away.

Harry smiled to himself.  They weren’t supposed to be openly affectionate at work, but Ron always found ways to get around it.

Harry returned to the paper he’d been poring over.  It was a map of Britain, and he had been using every spare moment he had on it.  He was trying to pinpoint potential hotspots based on where they caught the most Death Eaters.  He picked up his quill and added another dot over Bristol.

Dolohov was the third Death Eater they had caught in that area, but from the looks of it, Brighton was crawling with them.  Harry kept up with every report that came through, even the false alarms.  It took hours to go through them all, but if he wasn’t out fighting, he wanted to be doing something to help the cause.  The map wasn’t totally reliable, of course, because large groups of Death Eaters never hung around a certain area for very long.  But Harry thought by keeping track of where they had been, it might help in determining where they were going.

“Potter,” growled a voice in front of him.  He could tell without raising his head that it was Mad-Eye Moody.

“Yes, sir?”

“Anymore leads on Mulciber?” Moody asked in a hoarse voice.

”Not that I’ve heard of,” Harry said honestly.

“Might want to send a few scouts out toward Nottingham.  The Department of Magical Law Enforcement has reason to believe a large group of wizards living there were put under the Imperious Curse.  That was Mulciber’s specialty, if you remember.  Sounds suspicious.”

Harry nodded.  He remembered only too well.  “I’ll send some out as soon as the others get back from Dover.”

Moody grunted in approval before turning awkwardly on his wooden leg and limping heavily off.  Harry returned to his map once again.

Witches and wizards were bustling busily back and forth across the large, cluttered room, sidestepping memos and bowing over cubicles.  It had taken Harry awhile to become accustomed to the fast-paced atmosphere in the Auror office.  It was easily the most hectic center in the Ministry.  After a few weeks though, it became second nature, and he couldn’t imagine working anywhere else.  Any other job would seem wholly mundane.

Harry had no sooner added two dots over Coventry and one dot over Portsmouth when Ron came running up to him, out of breath, and holding his side.

“We just got an anonymous tip that a group of Death Eaters has captured some Muggles right outside Brighton,” he said with a slight bit of anxiety in his voice.

“Is it legit?”

“Can’t tell. We’ve got to go, though, haven’t we?  We can’t ignore a warning.  Remus, Moody, and some others just left.”

“I’ll join you in a minute.”  Harry marked his place in the report, put his quill back in its holder, and jogged to catch up with Ron.

****

This wasn’t some joke or false alarm.  It was a full-blown battle, one of the biggest and loudest Harry had ever been in.  He found himself in a large, open, grassy field with thick, gray, oppressive trees on either side.  Skinny wisps of smoke were rising up off the wet grass, and the air was humid with imminent rain.  In a glance, Harry could see almost forty Death Eaters darting around and hurling curses.  His stomach dropped when he realized there weren’t nearly that many Aurors.

He increased his grip on his wand and looked around, trying to see where he was needed the most.  Ron cast a nervous glance at him, and pressed his hand reassuringly before darting over to the left and out of sight.  Harry went right.

Kingsley Shacklebolt was dueling adequately with two Death Eaters, but there was another one advancing on him from behind.  Harry cast a Blasting Curse, knocking the proceeding Death Eater back at least ten feet, and causing him to land in a heap on the ground.

Another Death Eater came at Harry from the side, and Harry barely had time to shift his weight and shout “Expelliarmus!” before he fell over.

The grass was damp and muddy, and his shoes had trouble finding traction.  He clambered back to his feet just as a flare shot over his head.  He felt the hot air pass over him, and reached his hand up to see if his hair had been singed.

Two more Death Eaters came forward, and spells were sent hurtling past him on both sides.  Harry shouted “Stupefy!” at the closest one, but it went awry by a few inches.  He took off in the opposite direction, hoping to put some distance between himself and the two Death Eaters.

One of them yelled, “Impedimenta!” before Harry had time to turn around and block it.  It hit Harry squarely between his shoulder blades, and he fell face-first into the dirt with a loud grunt.  One of his front teeth bit through his lower lip.  He tasted a warm, metallic tang, and raised his hand to his lip.

The Death Eaters rushed forward, but they had only gotten a few steps when Ron came racing up, standing between them and Harry.  He cast a perfectly aimed “Incendio!” and both Death Eaters’ robes caught fire.

Another one sprinted over, but Ron yelled, “Expelliarmus!”  He caught the wand deftly and broke it over his knee with a sharp snap.  The Death Eater retreated.  Ron hurried over to Harry and saw the blood.  He looked down at him, shaking and concerned.

“You alright, love?” he asked.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Harry told him in a rush.  “Go help the others.”

Ron gave him a determined nod, then ran off again.

Harry scrambled to his feet and jabbed his glasses up the sweaty bridge of his nose.  His robes were heavy with mud and clung to his shoulders.  His attention was abruptly diverted when he spotted Remus, a good distance away, being assaulted by two additional Death Eaters.  He dashed over to join him.

“Harry, I can handle this!  Go back to headquarters, it’s under control!” Remus forced out between hexes.

“Are you crazy?  We’re already out-numbered.  I’m not leaving you here,” Harry said resolutely.  One of the Death Eaters rounded on him.

“Impedimenta!” the Death Eater called.

“Protego!” Harry bellowed only seconds later, and the red jet was sent rebounding to its caster, knocking him off his feet.

The other Death Eater had incapacitated Remus by now, and turned to face Harry.

“Accio wand!” cried the Death Eater.

Harry felt his fingers being pried open by invisible hands.  His wand broke free, but only a few inches, before he threw his arm out and snatched it up again.

He cast another Blasting Curse, but the Death Eater was too quick, and he jumped back to avoid being hit.

“Stupefy!” Harry called.

The Death Eater, still in an awkward position from dodging the previous spell, was caught unawares.  A stunned look stilled his face and he collapsed dumbly.

Harry resumed a defensive stance, prepared to fend off the next onslaught.

And that’s when he heard it—a loud Petrificus Totalus! through the din of the battle.  It rang in his ears, and he jerked his head around.

On the opposite side of the field, a deluge of light hit Ron in the chest, freezing him in mid-charge.  A Death Eater hastened toward him.  There were skirmishes filling the distance between him and Harry, but Harry took off as fast as he could.  Spells were zooming past him, but he dodged them nimbly.  The wind was whipping his hair in his face, and he raked his arm across his head absentmindedly.  He could hear the curses whizzing by on all sides, and he could feel burns through the fabric of his robes.  Bright red sparks scattered around his legs.  He hardly noticed them, though, as his mind was completely fixed on reaching Ron.  He was getting closer, and in a few more minutes, he’d be within distance to cast a spell.  His lungs were tight, and he was out of breath, but he plunged ahead, despite the burning in his legs.  He watched the Death Eater raise his wand.  Harry raised his, too, and said a silent prayer that he was close enough for the spell to reach.

He opened his mouth, but before anything could come out, he was hit heavily in the side.  Someone had grabbed him by the waist and was carrying him off.  The blow had knocked the breath out of him, and at first he was dazed.  When he twisted himself around, he saw that Remus had been the one who seized him.

“What are you doing? Put me down!” Harry yelled furiously.  He was thrashing in Remus’s embrace.

“No, Harry, you’re going to get yourself killed!  I can’t allow that,” Remus said sternly.

Remus was sprinting to the forest, away from the battle.  He cast his head from side to side, ducking spells that came too close.  He wrapped himself around Harry to block any curses that he might not be able to avoid.

Harry felt a cold surge of panic.

“They’ve got Ron!  They’re going to kill him if you don’t let me go!”

“Someone else will help him.  He’ll be alright.  You’ve got to get yourself out of here,” Remus said in a surprisingly steady voice.  Harry was furious that he could speak so calmly.

They had reached the trees now, and Harry readied himself for an escape as soon as Remus’s hold slackened.  Remus had a surprisingly firm grasp on Harry’s arm, though, and try as he might, Harry couldn’t get his hand to budge.

“Let me go!  I’ve got to get to him!” Harry screamed again above the roaring of the wind.

“Harry, don’t.  You can’t save everybody,” Remus said softly.

He had touched a nerve.  Harry didn’t want to save everybody.  He just wanted to save Ron.  At this moment, Harry didn’t give a damn about anyone else.

“I—said—let—me—GO!” Harry’s wrist was writhing in Remus’s hand.  He could feel Remus’s grip weaken slightly, and when he twisted his arm upwards, Remus’s hand was wrenched open.  Harry was free.

He tore off again before Remus could catch up to him.  Sweat was running down into his eyes, causing them to sting, but he never stopped watching Ron.  Ron was still Petrified, but he hadn’t been further attacked.  A few feet away from him, Harry saw that Moody had thankfully distracted the Death Eater with a Binding Curse before he could inflict any more damage on Ron.

Then, Harry saw a figure in long black robes emerge from a thin clump of trees. Not unlike a Dementor, his hood hung so low that Harry couldn’t see his face.  The Death Eater spoke, but Harry was too far away to hear him.  A fountain of light hit Ron forcefully in the shoulder and he fell.  He lay motionless on the ground, and three more Death Eaters rushed on him.  One was apparently the one Ron had assailed early, because Harry couldn’t see a wand. His fist connected with the side of Ron’s face, crushing his jaw with a sickening impact.  The other three raised their wands simultaneously.

“NO!” Harry screamed, but his voice was nullified by the wind.

He jerked his wand up and opened his mouth, ready to cast the first spell that came to mind.  But just as he did, a thick red jet exploded against his ear.  The blast deafened him.  His legs were knocked out from under him, and he hit the ground with a jolt.  A blackness crept into his eyes, and he passed out.