Author's Note: See Pink1 for warnings, disclaimers, rating, etc.
//I've just got to get through the day//
He hadn't left home when he left school. He took a job with his father. A boring job. The kind that people get when they just want to get through the day and bring home a paycheck. He didn't hate his job, he didn't love it. He just went to work.
It was hard having a different life while living at the Burrow. He would try on makeup in the middle of the night in the loo, because he could never trust the twins not to Apparate in his room at all hours.
<He looked in the mirror, making sure his makeup was how he wanted it. He still like pinks, but had started liking other colors, such as purple, because he thought those were pretty, too. He touched up the shadow on his eyelid to make sure it was even.>
He was able to go into Muggle London occasionally and pick up some of his pretty things. Things that fit. He would tell his mother he was going to visit friends. He never came back with huge packages because his mother would wonder what they were.
<He looked back in the mirror to make sure his mascara wasn't smudged and he had added eyeliner for tonight. He added a little more mascara, which he really didn't need, but he didn't know how much or how little he should put on.>
He had bought things that looked pretty, but he was afraid to ask the counter girl what might look nice on him, so he just pick colors he liked, saying they were for a girlfriend. Sometimes they didn't look good, but he bought women's magazines, trying to figure it out.
He always told the clerks he was buying for a girl, but he often wondered if they believed him. He knew he shouldn't care what they thought, but it unnerved him anyway. He did get a new thrill from his makeup, though, because it was his own.
<He patted the power on a little bit more, to try and cover some of the bigger freckles, but it never seemed to do any good. He brushed his fingers though his hair. He was letting it flow free tonight. He was always happy with his hair.>
He saw Harry occasionally, but since he was an Auror, they didn't get together very often. Hermione was a total career girl at Gringotts, but he saw her too, a little more than Harry.
<He picked up the blush and swirled it around on the brush. He touched his cheeks, but they were already pink with nervousness, so he needed very little.>
He wanted his own apartment and brought it up on more than one occasion to his parents, but his mother wasn't ready for an empty nest and he needed to save more money anyway. He wanted to move to Muggle London, but knew that would raise eyebrows.
What was the point of moving anyway? He'd be watched like a hawk in the Wizarding World and he got to live at home for free.
<Although he bought other colors now, he still loved his plum lipstick. He didn't wear it too often anymore, but he kept buying it, anyway. He put a bronzed-colored lipstick up to his lips and glided it on. He wasn't sure if he looked okay, but knew had to be satisfied.>
He went out to Muggle London just to see if he saw anyone who was like him. He didn't know what he was looking for. He wasn't even sure where to go. He knew he would eventually figure it out. He wasn't shy to talk to strangers, mostly asking questions of young people in stores.
<He walked down the street, looking at the lights on the outside of the club. He had prettied himself up, but had worn jeans, a black t-shirt, and his big black boots. He was nervous, so he stood, standing, staring, wondering if he should go in.>
At the stores, some people ignored him, some were rude, but others were friendly. He never asked obvious questions, but he wore hints of color on his eyes, hoping people would figure it out. He started with regular conversation, like music, then he'd just say that he was new in town and ask if they knew of a club...
<He summoned up all his courage and walked up to the bouncer. This time he was determined to walk inside. He smiled at the bouncer, who was a well-built, good-looking guy. He flipped his hair back in a flirty way. Then he brushed passed the bouncer and walked through the door.>
He'd always been a nervous person, but he pretended to be confident. He was uncertain and scared of his secret life, but he wanted to learn how to live with himself. He missed *him*, but he needed this life more.
//He's beautiful//
The voyeur missed watching *him*. He wanted to so badly, but now life got in the way. Nobody seemed to know what *he* did on weekends. He suspected *his* secret life was continuing. It upset him that he was no longer part of it. But that was his fault and he knew it.
//He's beautiful//