Kristy stood in front of the mirror, her eyes transfixed on her image in the mirror. There was a party with the record label tonight, and Justin had asked her to go with him. She wouldn't have been able to say no if she'd tried, and she'd wanted to at first, but how could she deny Justin such a small request?
She loved him. And he loved her. She knew he loved her, but she didn't know quite why. She didn't think a special person like him could ever love someone like herself.
'Why do I have to have such big hips?'
She turned to the side, staring at her profile with saddened eyes. 'Oh god. I'm so fat. I look like a fucking fat cow. How could anyone ever love such a fat cow?'
'How could Justin possibly love me?'
She suddenly felt slightly dizzy and gripped the bathroom counter for support. Just as she was about to give in to the dizziness and depression, she heard a door open below her.
"Kristy? Are you home?"
"I'm up here, Justin."
Kristy heard him climb the steps and enter the room. She didn't turn around to meet him, but met his eyes through the mirror. He flashed that little crooked smile of his as his arms linked around her middle.
"I missed you, baby."
"Justin, you were only gone for an hour."
"An hour too long."
She grinned at his reflection. He leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back slightly at the last moment, much to his surprise.
"You're going to mess up my make-up, J. I don't want to look all horrible for the party."
"You always look beautiful. Especially now. Absolutely breath-taking."
She forced a smile, but she knew he was only trying to make her feel better about herself. Her eyes remained fixed on the mirror, on his arms around her waist. The waist that looked far too large for her liking.
After a few moments, he relaxed his hold on her and turned to go back into the bedroom to get changed himself. After throwing on some khakis and a short sleeved button down shirt, he returned to where she stood, immediately noticing that she hadn't moved much since he'd left her side.
She was standing kind of sideways now, smoothing her dress over her flat stomach and staring at the mirror as if it held the secret to life. He looked a little closer and noticed she looked even thinner than usual.
"Is everything ok, Kris?"
Her eyes fluttered upward to meet his in the mirror. "What makes you think something's wrong? I'm perfectly fine."
Justin could tell something was off but decided to let it go. She'd answered with such a casual tone. She certainly didn't seem worried. "No reason. Nevermind."
He allowed his eyes to scan her form once more and just as he was about to turn away, he noticed just how thin she looked. It was almost a sickly look.
She was far too thin to be healthy. Her stomach nearly caved inward.
Justin became suddenly worried. He wondered if there was something seriously wrong with her. But she would tell him if something was wrong...wouldn't she?
Kristy saw his eyes fixed on her waist and panicked. 'Oh no!' her mind screamed out in horror. 'He's thinking about how fat I look! I knew this was too good to be true...I can't lose him. I love him too much to lose him.'
The dizzy feeling came back, but she ignored it. 'I better not eat anything tonight. Eating would only make me look fatter. This dress is snug so as it is.'
Justin forced himself to tear his eyes from her body and moved to fix his hair. The task distracted his hands and his eyes, but not his mind.
'Why haven't I noticed how much weight she's been losing? Should I say something to her?' He thought that over. 'No, she'll just think I thought she was fat before. But she wasn't. She was always beautiful. Now she looks sick, almost like...'
He thought back to last night, when he'd taken her to dinner. He remembered how she'd tensed at the mention of going out to dinner. He remembered her ordering a simple chicken salad, but what scared him the most was the memory of her only actually eating a few bites. She'd played with the fork an awful lot, pushing the food around. But actually eating? She hadn't eaten much at all.
Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember her eating much at all lately. Sure, he was busy with recording the new album and all, but...the only thing he could remember her putting in her mouth over the past few weeks was plain lettuce leaves.
But it wasn't possible...was it? Kristy was so in control and happy, so loving and energetic and beautiful. She couldn't be...no, not his Kristy. She knew better than that.
Justin took a deep breath and assured himself it was crazy. He was imagining things. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
They party was a little boring, like most parties with the label tended to be. Justin didn't really mind though. He loved showing his beautiful girlfriend off to everyone. They all loved her too.
The night had gone fine at first. They'd danced, chatted, mingled. They'd sat down to eat, but despite Justin's watchful eye, Kristy had managed to stick to her resolution and no food had passed her lips.
Justin hadn't wanted to make a scene, so he decided to talk to her after they left the party. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and tried to enjoy himself. She'd been having a good time too. Elise, one of her best friends, was a Jive employee, and the two of them had been having fun talking while their boyfriends joined a discussion about something sports related.
But Kristy wasn't having fun anymore.
She'd made several trips to the ladies room now, each time attempting to stop the dizziness, the weakness that she'd felt all night. She didn't want to worry anyone though, so when a bad dizzy spell came over her, she just retreated out of sight for a moment until it passed.
Elise was getting suspicious, so she wasn't at all surprised when Justin pulled her aside after Kristy had excused herself once more.
"Hey, Lise, have you noticed anything...different about Kris lately?"
Her eyes widened. "Why? Is something wrong?"
"I...don't know."
She lowered her head. "She's been acting a little funny, now that you mention it. And she looks really pale tonight. I don't know what could be wrong."
Justin nodded. "Does she look overly thin to you at all?"
Elise thought about it and then agreed. "You know what, she does. And both times I invited her to lunch, she said she had other plans. Only I don't think she really did because she acted funny about it."
Justin cringed. This affirmed what he had been thinking. "I don't think she's been eating much. At all."
He suddenly became scared for a different reason. "How long has she been gone, Elise? It's been awhile, hasn't it?"
Elise bit her lip and looked towards the doorway. "I'm going to go check on her, ok?"
Justin nodded and watched her go, somehow knowing that something wasn't right.
He nearly fell off his chair when Elise came running back into the room, tears streaming down her face. Everyone in the room turned to look as she collapsed into her boyfriend's arms sobbing, and Justin ran past her, through the door where she had entered. He was followed closely by JC.
They found her lying unconscious on the floor in the hallway. Justin ran to her side and scooped her up in his arms, somewhat relieved when he heard her faint breathing.
"Kris! Wake up, Kris! Please!"
Justin didn't want to leave her side, so he called to JC from his spot on the floor. "Jace, go call an ambulance! Do something! Kristy! She has to be ok! She has to! Kris...Kristy...Baby..."
Tears streamed down his face as he lifted her limp form off the ground and carried her gently towards the building's entrance. The room was filled with silent onlookers as he passed through, looks of shock and terror on their faces. No one could believe that the woman they had talked to only moments earlier was now unconscious in her boyfriend's arms.
Justin didn't even notice them. He only saw the girl in his arms, the girl that he loved. The only thing that kept him going was the need to get her help. It pushed him through the crowds of people, passed the reporters and through the mobs of fans.
He stood holding her in the parking lot as the ambulance pulled up and opened its doors. They refused to let him ride along, despite his screams of protest. JC pulled Justin away from the ambulance and towards his Jeep, as he sobbed and protested.
"I have to go with her! Kristy!"
"Jace! Let go of me! I have to go with her!"
"Please! Somebody! I need to be with Kristy!"
JC wanted to cry himself but knew he had to control himself for Justin's sake. The man was a mess. They came to a stop next to the Jeep. "Justin, look at me. Look! You have done everything you could for her. You got her to that ambulance. Now you have to let them do their job, and we will meet them at the hospital. Do you understand? We'll meet them there."
Justin collapsed into the passenger seat of the car, sobbing uncontrollably. He sobbed the whole way to the hospital, mumbling unintelligibly through his tears.
Justin paced the waiting area, waiting for the chance to see her. He was going crazy. He and JC had arrived hours ago and since then had been joined first by Elise and her boyfriend, then the rest of the guys and their dates, and finally Justin's parents. Kristy's parents lived up north, but were on their way down to Florida. The Sunshine State.
Justin wasn't feeling the sunshine. He was feeling the big black storm clouds. And lots of thunder. Thunder that was about to release itself in the form of him kicking that doctor's scrawny ass for not letting him see Kristy!
JC looked up from where he was sitting and saw Justin's face turning an interesting shade of purplish-red. He bolted from his seat to meet Justin on his way towards the doctor.
"Justin, you have got to calm down man. You'll get to see her soon. Freaking out is not going to help you see her sooner."
"Calm down?! My girlfriend is hurt, and they won't let me see her. They won't even tell me anything for Christ's sake!"
"I will go talk to the doctor. Sit down next to your mother and relax for a second."
Lynn sat him down and ran a hand through his hair comfortingly. "Baby, it's going to be just fine. They'll let you see her as soon as possible."
Justin sighed and sank down lower in the seat, resting his head against his mom's shoulder. "She has to be alright. She just has to. Please, God, let her be alright."
JC returned a few moments later. "You can see her now, Justin. But you have to promise to be calm. She's just waking up now, and you can't go in there all worked up. Ok?"
Justin sprung to his feet immediately, nodding at his friend, promising to remain calm. JC pointed him towards the waiting doctor who ushered him through the corridor to a room marked 106. The doctor opened the door quietly, motioning Justin in and whispering a warning before he left.
"She's very weak. Don't worry, though. She's going to be just fine, but be careful you don't get her all worked up. It's going to be a long recovery. She's lucky to be alive, and to have someone who cares about her so much, too. Now go on in. She's been waiting for you."
As Justin entered the room, his breath caught in his throat and his eyes stung with tears he didn't have left. She looked so small, so fragile, lying on the big white bed. Her eyes were shut, her face so pale that it nearly matching the pillow behind her head. An IV pole stood beside her bed, a long snake of plastic tubing leading a transparent fluid into the back of her hand.
She looked awful, but so completely wonderful all at once. He wanted to leap into the bed with her and throw his arms around her, hold her close, just to be sure she was really there. But he remembered the warnings and took it easy.
He moved to the side of the bed, reaching out a hand to touch the skin of her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered until her chocolate orbs shone up to meet his. He released a breath, he hadn't known he was holding and leaned closer, placing a kiss on her forehead. He pulled a chair up beside the bed and linked his hand with hers, falling in love with her all over again.
She spoke quietly. "Justin..."
It was music to his ears. "Shhh...Don't strain yourself."
She smiled softly. He was always so concerned about her.
"Oh, Kris. I was so worried. You can't even imagine how beautiful you are to me right now."
"I'm...sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Kris. I'm more mad at myself for not noticing something was wrong..."
"Oh, baby. It isn't your fault."
"But if I would have..."
"No, Justin. It isn't you. You're wonderful. I'm just starting to realize that I have a problem. I never thought there was anything wrong with what I was doing. The doctor says I'm lucky to be alive. That I'm going to have to be hospitalized for awhile...and people are going to help me get better." She paused. "I need you to believe that this wasn't your fault. I'm going to need you to help me through this, Justin. You're the only one who can keep me strong..."
"Oh, baby. I'm going to be here for you whenever you need me. Remember that. And if something is ever bothering you, just tell me. I'll do anything in my power to help you."
She smiled. "Thank you."
"You should try to sleep now. You need to rest."
"Ok. Will you stay here until I fall asleep?"
He grinned. "Nothing could keep me away."
Justin held her hand as she fell asleep, praying that one day she would be better, and all of this would be behind them. But for now, he was content to know that she was still there, that she was alive, and that she loved him.
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