Interactive Chatroom Fiction v 1.0
Starring Luna, Godeg, and SimonBob

An icy wind blew over the baren, wind-swept plain. It had begun to snow again. The little family in the middle of nowhere ran to their shelter, and closed the doors. The blizzard began to get worse, and the sky darkened...
"HEY!" yelled a voice. "Stop messing with my damn snowglobe!"
"Sorry," Argon replied, grinning innocently, and placing the globe on the table. "I just can't remember the last time it actually snowed," he complained. "It couldn't have been more than five years ago, I guess..."
"About four, I think," Tara reminisced. She looked at her snowglobe carefully. "You know, all this talk about snow makes me hungry."
"What the heck!" Argon glared at Tara. "You just had a frickin' pizza!"
"Yeah, I know. But still, I have a voracious appetite."
"So... would you like my sausage? They're probably almost done." Argon turned to the stove. The smell of sausages wafted throughout the room.
"You know, I could probably turn that around and make that perverted." Tara grinned widely.
Argon turned his head, tossing his shoulder-length red hair, winking slyly at Tara.
But Tara wasn't even there. Instead, she was eating the sausages from the stove. Argon facefaulted. "I WAS planning to save some of those..." he mumbled glumly.
"If it makes you feel better, they were good."
He sighed, turning back to look out the window. The landscape was dull and brown, just like yesterday.
"Do you feel something?" asked Tara. The entire house was shaking.
"Ahhh, crap." Argon ran outside, holding a hand to shade his eyes as he looked eastwards. His worst fears were confirmed as he caught sight of a large dust cloud moving towards the shack.
Tara ran outside too, but instead of looking towards the east, she looked... westwards. Argon nudged her sharply.

Meanwhile, snickers the cat meowed loudly. He was up, and he wanted food. Preferably sausages. He wandered over to the open door, where noticed the dust cloud and the rumbling. Putting two and two together, he ran back inside and hid under the bed.

"Crap," Argon said again. "That cloud is too big to be the law, and too fast to be bandits."
Tara, being the logical one, went inside, got the gun, and closed the door. "If it's not the law, and it's not bandits, then..."
"It's RVs," Argon finished grimly.
"Uh oh. Maybe we should turn on some music." Tara walked over to the stereo and turned on some Pearl Jam.
"Are you nuts!" Argon ran over and hit the stop button. "Are you going to drive them into a frenzy, or what!"
There was a loud knock on the door!
Tara looked at Argon blankly. "Argon, sit the hell down and shut up! This is thinking music! Oh yeah, I'll get the door."
"Thinking of what?" Argon grumbled. "Our impending deaths?"
Tara opened the door. She was surprised to see that an RV WAS ON THE FRONT PORCH. "Hello, I'm a lost tourist." the man at the door said, smiling benignly. Argon reacted quickly.
"You want a sausage?"
"Nice and crispy," Tara added.
Snickers the cat yowled. the frying pan was definitely bare of sausages.
"Wellllll.... I am a bit peckish!" The tourist took the last sausage from the plate.
The cat was pissed! Somebody took the last sausage! It decided to get revenge.
The tourist bit in, grinning at the succulency. Then he frowned. And choked. As he fell on the floor, the cat ran out from under the bed and ripped up his ankles.
"Are you sure we had to poison the last sausage?" Argon asked, grabbing the cat by the collar. The cat mewed in the affirmative.
"The cat says yes, Argon." Tara laughed an evil laugh. She wrapped her arms around Argon's neck. "I just thought of something you'd like better than sausage, anyway." She closed the door.

A few hours later...

"That steak was delicious!" Argon said, patting his stomach.
"I told you you'd like it better."
"Say, this reminds me of that one time where we had wild wild sex after dinner. Remember, Tara?"
"Nope. I don't."
"Yeah, me neither."
"Neither do I," added the cat silently. His eyes were shifting left and right.
"Okay, Snickers, we can see your eyes. Anyway, let's go to the city!" Tara ran out of the house. Argon packed a grappling hook and followed her. The RV exploded. "Whoops!" Tara ran to the other RV. "I almost forgot that that RV explodes."
Tara jumped into the driver's seat of the non-exploding RV and revved it up, while Snickers attached himself to the passenger seat. Argon frowned at the cat. "GET OUT OF MY SEAT!" The cat frowned back. Its stare was one that seemed to say "no way." It then got out of the seat, and the RV drove on.

"Uh oh." Tara looked around. "Something doesn't seem right."
A HUGE BOX DROPPED FROM THE SKY AND SAMURAI NINJA THIEVES ATTACKED THE RV!
"Damn! I knew it!"
"Yeah, it never fails, huh Tara? Didn't this happen to us on the way to the airport once?"
"No, I think you read that somewhere. Anyway, let's bust these samurai ninja thieves up."
Argon pulled the grappling hook out of his pants.
"What was that doing in there, Argon?"
"Just a handy place to put stuff, y'know. Since I'm not wearing a shirt and all that." He swung at the nearest samurai-ninja, driving the hook through the angry Asian's neck.
"Oh, right," said Tara as she punched out another thug. "These guys distracted me from your sexy chest."
Suddenly, some cowboy western music played, and a horse galloped onto the scene!
"Oh no!" screamed a samurai-ninja in Japanese. "It is Bonanza!" Indeed, the music was in fact the theme from Bonanza.
"Hi ho, Weetabix!" the cowboy yelled, swinging his lasso.
"It's the ultimate weapon!" cried a ninja. "I throw my shuriken at it but they go through!" The evil easterners fled in terror.
Suddenly, it started to rain. One of the ninjas stopped, looked upward, and stretched his arms open as his soul transformed, the evil washing away from his body. Bonanza put a stop to that nonsense with his six-shooter.
Tara looked at Bonanza with interest. "He's hot. If only he was twenty pounds lighter and thirty years younger..."
Argon drove over the rest of the samurai ninja theives, and Bonanza. "C'mon, Tara, only another few miles to the city."

They drove onward, stopping at the top of a cliff overlooking the city.
"El Nazzaro City," Argon announced. "You'll never find a more wretched hive of explosions and cosplayers."
"Ack!" Tara threw her hands up, protecting her face. "Why'd it just explode!"
"Probably another convention war," Argon replied.
A man with spikey hair and an orange gi marched by, and proclaimed he was Goku to the twosome.
"Yeah, sure, and I'm Luke Skywalker," replied Argon before throwing 'Goku' over the edge.
"Worst. Cosplay. Ever." Tara muttered, pouring bleach in her eyes.
Argon dug around in his pants, eventually producing a pair of yellow Digimon ears and a tail. "Wear these," he said, tossing them to Tara. "They'll make an excellent disguise."
A small mob swarmed up to Tara and Argon, who had just assembled his own disguise (a red robe, a pair of dog-ears, and a big freakin' sword.)
A man stepped forward, and introduced himself.
"Hi, my name's Falcon, and I like manporn and bondage."
Another person stepped up, and adjusted his glasses. "My name... is Cyan683. I have a lot of honour."
Tara wasn't sure about the validity of this statement; people with honour didn't usually salivate as they leered at Digi-girl cosplayers. But she decided to play along.
"Hi, I'm Marlene Tarlessen the Third, and this is my compatriot John Aragorn Fernhandle. We're looking for your seat of government."
"Why, right this way!" said Falcon, forcing himself to tear his gaze from Argon's slightly open robe.
Cyan tried to slow down his pace so he could get behind Tara, but she insisted that he lead the way, with an amusing "Ladies first!" comment that went over his head.

While being lead by the crowd of strange people, headed by one Falcon and Cyan, several Pikachus danced by. Argon gave the dancing Pokemon a withering glare.
A severly deformed kodama walked by and clicked its head. "The Mononoke sub was horrible." Argon said bitterly.
"Yeah, thank goodness the dub was excellent," Tara replied.
"Indeed."
Falcon and Cyan pointed triumphantly to a tall grey building. "There it is, the seat of government!"
"Thanks so much!" Tara blew Cyan a kiss, causing him to faint. Argon just hit Falcon over the head.
"So what's so important about the seat of government?" Argon asked.
"Nothing, silly." Tara grinned. "But from here, I can find the way to the weather control station."
While the two walked away, Falcon, who had recovered from his blow, was using cyan's faint to his advantage. And there we shall draw a curtain on their activities in the street.

Argon glanced around nervously as Tara led him into the WCS. "Are you sure their security is on low priority right now?"
"Yeah, it's only on high during festivals and stuff." Tara led Argon down a few corridors, then up a few more, getting him thoroughly lost.
Another man dressed as Goku danced by, pretending to shoot kamehamehas at everything he came in contact with. He bumped busily into Tara and danced in a circle before running off.
The two adventurers had reached their wits end. The bad cosplay was abundant, and the passages many. They had already stumbled into one too many hentai rooms, and felt sure they would be scarred for life, when they reached a set of huge oak doors.
"I wonder who's in here?" Argon said.
They pushed open the door...
"Woah!!" Argon was instantly hypnotized like a fanboy by the sight he saw. Tara didn't get it until she saw the nameplate on the desk in front of the woman:

LUNA

As Argon went to join the other fanboys in silent worship, Tara tightened her grip on the katana she only just remembered having now.
"Oh, so you're the one they call Luna?" Tara unsheathed her katana.
Luna waved happily at the two.
"Your waving won't stop me from YELLING LOUDLY!!!" Tara yelled loudly.
Suddenly a mysterious figure swooped from the ceiling! "Ahaha! Luna! Your days of denying the world its snow are OVER!"
"Oh, really?" Luna cast her intoxicating gaze at the newcomer, but he simply laughed mockingly.
"Your hypnotism won't work on possessors of the mystic flannel!"
"Damnit! I should have known it was you, Anthadd!"
Drool dripped off of Argon's lip.
Tara smacked Argon.
"Not now! I'm busy staring!" He continued to stare as Luna picked up a paperweight and threw it at Anthadd, who dodged deftly.
Tara smacked Argon again.
"Damn your dodging! Damn it to hell!" Luna shouted.
"Look at her!" Tara pleaded. "Not when she's trying to look sexy, but now, when she's being a psycho!"
Argon looked. "..Oh, okay." He snapped out of the hypnotism.
Anthadd glanced over at Argon and Tara, who were carefully sneaking into the back room where the snow controls were. He'd have to distract Luna somehow...
"Come here and get me," he said.
Luna stood up to full height, dressed in a a revealing Lum costume, and kicked at Anthadd. He flew backwards into the oak doors, but somehow got up and walked over to a conveniently placed table. "Leave me be, it's tea time."
Clarence the Wolf wandered in. Anthadd said "Greetings, Clar-OWW!!" as Clarence bit him on the ankle. Anthadd hopped on one foot as he held his ankle in his hands. Ever since taking that kick, his timing was off..

Meanwhile, Argon and Tara sneaked into the snow room. "Okay," said Argon. "Reach into my pants and get the bomb."
Tara waved the bomb in front of Argon's nose. "You mean this bomb?"
"What? I thought it was in my pants."
"You think I'd trust you with it in there? I stuffed it in between my breasts."
"Oh yeah, nobody was gonna look there," Argon replied sarcastically. "Especially not that Cyan guy."
"Hah! You thought you could get away with giving snow to this barren world, eh!?" Luna's form was silloueted in the doorway. "Uhoh! She's back!" Tara began to reach for her katana again, but another figure leapt in front of her.
"Oh no!" shouted Luna. "Who are you?!"
The girl grinned. "I'm foxy NeoPaula and I'm a whole lotta woman!"
Literally pronouncing "wtf," Luna lept forward at Neo. Neo leapt up as well, and they met in midair, falling in a heap to the floor.
"Neo, getoff!"
"You first, hobag!"
In the meantime, Argon had completely lost his mind between the two hotties writhing on the floor, while Tara set the bomb up. Luna and Neo continued screaming obscenities at each other.
Having set the bomb, Tara grabbed Argon by the ear and dragged him outside.
A few minutes later, the bomb exploded, launching Luna and NeoPaula into the desert.
They landed at the feet of another flannel-clad Canadian. "Looks like it's my lucky day," said SimonBob, raising his eyebrows.

Aaaand now we shall return to the protagonists yet again.

Argon and Tara looked up in the sky. Clouds were forming. Soon, precipitation was falling down, cold and white.
"Yay! It's snowing again!" They embraced and joined together in a long, romantic kiss.
Then they went inside because it was getting really really cold outside.

THE END...?