| THE PIRATE PLANET by Douglas Adams |
| Story 99 Synopsis: The Doctor tries to land on Calufrax, where the 2nd segment is located, but fails. Romana lands them on Zanak. The tracer seems to be haywire. They try to ask for help, but get nowhere. Romana is arrested and taken to the Bridge, where the Captain rules over the planet. The Doctor makes his way there via stolen aircar. He and Romana realise that Zanak jumps through space, surrounding planets, plundering the minerals and killing all the people there. Zanak's people just take the benefits. The Captain plans a next trip, to Earth. The Doctor finds that a by-product of the released energy is the telepathic awakening of Mentiads. Also, some energy goes to power Time Dams, which are keeping former ruler Queen Xanxia in perpetual near-death. The Captain tries to kill the Doctor, but fails. The Doctor used a projection of himself, just as the Captain has a Nurse who is a projection of Xanxia. She believes she is almost complete, but the Doctor tells her there'll never be enough energy in the universe to allow her the immortality she craves. The Doctor uses the Mentiads to put a spanner in the works, and jams Zanak when it tries to materialise around Earth by blocking it with the TARDIS. The Captain dies, and the Nurse is vaporised. Zanak will have to stay where it is. The Doctor uses the remains of the shrunken planets to fill up the hollow centre of Zanak, making sure to grab hold of Calufrax, which is the 2nd segment. The Bridge is blown up. |
| Review:- From Ribos, to Calufrax - or at least, in theory. For the failure to reach Calufrax is just the tip of the iceberg in the search for the next segment of the Key To Time... The first thing that might as well be said about this story is that it marked the first major connection of Douglas Adams to the worlds of Doctor Who. The later creator of the phenomenal Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy here gives us a galaxy-hopping tale of greed and silliness. Unusually, it is highly thought-provoking; less surprisingly, it has a predilection for smug humour that rather cheapens the series. Dominating the story is the Captain, a part-robotic bully who runs a tight ship, has a robot parrot, and is not above making people walk the plank. Whilst slightly too silly, he is at least a genuine pirate, inasmuch as it is his engineering that allows Zanak to jump from planet to planet, plundering them as it goes. Whilst bearing a distracting resemblance to Tommy Cooper, the Captain is allowed to develop when he is later revealed as subservient after all, and his grief for the late Mr Fibuli does wonders for his character. Fibuli is also a welcome character, given the brief nature of his role in proceedings. Of the "goodies", Kimus shines out, probably because we get to spend time with him, and seeing his disaffection for the state of Zanak. He proves a welcome ally. The same can scarcely be said for Mula or Balaton, and the rather dreary Mentiads fail to engage interest as soon as the Doctor has worked out how their power derives. Equally, the Nurse/Xanxia is quite bland and never convinces as a villain. The guards are all pretty dull, too, given their inability to shoot effectively. Of the regular characters, K-9 gets a good run-out, flying an aircar, battling the Polyphase Avitron and tracking the Mentiads. Romana also does well, leading the attack of the Mentiads in the last episode, showing off her weaponry skills and saving her life through her knowledge when she first arrives on the Bridge. The Doctor does well in handling the scope of the science, emphasising the mass destruction wreaked on planets like Bandraginus V, not to mention dealing with precious minerals, and creating copies of himself. But if anything really lets this story down, it's the conclusion. Using the TARDIS to thwart Zanak's jump to Earth isn't too bad, although the emphasis on the Doctor and Romana's race against time to get from the Bridge seems a little silly. Putting the TARDIS at extreme risk isn't too bad, either. But the Doctor focusing on the Mentiads and getting them to levitate a spanner to disable Zanak's engines is a sequence that shreds all credibility. To top this, the Doctor and Romana blow up the bridge with a handy detonator, and make only partial reference to collecting the 2nd segment (and after so much emphasis with the strange tracer readings earlier in the story, this seems to be almost a tacit admittance of the lack of coherent narrative construction). I did like the bold use of primary colours in the set design of the Bridge. There are lots of little things to like. But there are also some big faults that should be borne in mind, too. This ought to have been better. |
| Disclaimer: I have seen the video. |