| MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN by Paul Magrs |
| Story 51 Synopsis: Reginald Tyler writes a book called The True History Of Planets, featuring elves, pixies and the like. Enjoying the book, the Doctor takes the TARDIS to a space station where a convention is happening, and the Doctor can listen to a lecture on the book. When he arrives, he lands the TARDIS on top of the lecturer in question. Worse, the book now features a tale of poodle revolution on the Dogworld. Imprisoned for murder, the Doctor and co are unwittingly rescued by Flossie, erstwhile undervalued cook. She takes them to the TARDIS, then stows away. Finding the Dogworld space station's co-ordinates from a footnote in the new version of Tyler's book, the Doctor takes his crew to learn more. There, the BBC TV premiere of the film version of the new book is shown, and the poodles are not happy. So the Doctor decides to hunt down the causes of the shift in time. In 1978 Hollywood, Anji meets FX whizz Ron Von Arnim, who has just been commissioned to make the fx in a film version of the book. In 1960 Las Vegas, Fitz and Flossie fall in with Brenda Soobie, nightclub singer, with a knack for singing songs which aren't released yet. The Doctor visits London 1942, where Tyler is being diverted from his planned tale of elfs & so on, to write about poodles. Tyler is being influenced by William Freer, who is plotting to change history to cause Dogworld revolution, so he can supplant the Royal Family with poodles, at the behest of the poodle Princess Margaret, though she is going to double-cross him, when he has outlived his usefulness. Freer enlists Noel Coward to help him. Noel has been given a set of Pinking Shears, with which he can move through the fabric of time & space, by Brenda, alias Iris Wildthyme. When Noel learns of Freer's true motives, he makes amends. History is recorrected, the film of the book concerns elfs & pixies, and Princess Margaret is killed. |
| Review:- Oh dear. 2002 Doctor Who, which can be anything, including bleeding awful. Am I being personal? Is it jealousy that a man who flaunts his credentials as a lecturer in English Literature and (teeth grind) Creative Writing can get his Who books published, and lauded, for no real obvious reason? OK, let's be positive. It's a pretty easy book to read, it's pretty easy to ascertain which characters are maybe meant to be other people (Fuchas = Lucas), and it's harmless. But oh! WHY DO WE HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS GARBAGE? Brenda is Iris "yes, it's me again, still 1-dimensional, still the antithesis of Doctor Who" Wildthyme, and I sort of enjoyed the book until this revelation. Then Noel Coward appears, and any apparent ingenuity of scripting becomes drowned in a sea of nauseous repetition, by a man who clearly puts Paul Cornell and Andrew Cartmel (oh, and, to be fair, Gary Russell) to shame when it comes to reusing characters for no good reason. Autopilot is the mode and it stinks. The frightening thing is that this book is so easy to read. Fitz and Anji arguably do little, but are well-written. The Doctor is good as per, and even doesn't recognise Iris (three cheers!). The fact that the cruel and neglected poodle aristo is named Princess Margaret provides a joyous moment of vicious irony. So, Paul, still funny, now the real woman's dead? HA HA HA! Interestingly, the latest news (at time of writing) is that BBC DW books will become less frequent as of this Autumn. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm................................................. |
| Disclaimer: I have read the book. |
| Further Comments:- When it was innocently announced that this book would feature a large fluffy pink poodle on its cover, my hackles rose. Oh no. It'll be a posed photo of a poodle at rest, a la Crufts. This will be the final nail in Doctor Who's coffin. I think I'll cry. Actually, it doesn't look that bad. I've nothing against pink. The stupid gold lettering for the logo sucks more, as does that 100th edition crap. Have they not been told that pride comes before a fall? Ah, you say, its meant to be a joke. Well, pardon me, but who's laughing now? |