faq

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

1 - Why is your site called DRAINS DON'T LAUGH ?

I dislike crass generalisations. The classic example of this is, Everybody knows/does that. Oh no they don't. What it usually means is, Quite a lot of people in my opinion/experience know/do that. But that's never good enough, it never has the same emphasis.
Another thing is bad description. I know I said I won't discuss women, but the adjectival descriptions, curvy, shapely and so on are just so over-used as to be meaningless. Anything from a teacup to a speedboat is curvy. And almost ANYTHING has a shape. What's wrong with equally mundane yet more relevant adjectives such as pretty, beautiful and the like?
But the all-time petty loathing is addressed as a follow-on from the others. The phrase laughed like a drain is too used to be ignored, and, oh boy, it drives me mad, every single time. Is it supposed to be an acceptable description? Is laughed like Mr Punch too insulting? How about laughed like a policeman? Or laughed like a clown? No, it's always ruddy laughed like a drain. Which prompts the rejoinder, but DRAINS DON'T LAUGH. They just don't. No, I won't let it pass. Yes, it does matter.
Go and look at my guestbook. See what has prompted the most people to comment. What is wrong with you people? Why is it not so damn obvious?
I actually thought about changing it to something more appropriate, such as SICK AND TIRED. But no, I've started this now, and I shall not cease from mental fight until I have won. And you wouldn't believe how long I am prepared to wait.

2 - What are you doing here?

This is a common question in everyday life, and every time, it makes me wonder how stupid the asker is. As if you can't cope with seeing people out of your own frame of reference. If you met the Pope in your local cinema, you might be tempted to ask this question. If the reply was "Same as you, to watch this film, now do be quiet, you're spoiling it for everyone else", you'd be stumped, wouldn't you?

3 - How are you finding it?

Another classic, although this is at least an attempt at being well-meaning. The person asking is rarely interested in the answer, whether it's detailed or curt. The possibilities for a flippant response give this one some perspective.