Memories flash through my mind,
the pictures that haunt me
a smile here
a laugh there
past happiness digs the pain deeper
and suddenly my view spins and inverts itself,
showing the other side of the story,
what I wished to forget
Restless nights
and worried cries
all waiting for your call
my inner screams at what I saw but I still held on
worry gave through to sorrow,
mingled with despair
I was the fool
I believed you cared
and I paid the price in blood,
you left me bleeding
left me for dead
to decay and rot in an empty universe
I foresaw that fate
yet surprise filled me still
I defended my heart with superiority
I thought I deserved more
but what goes up must come down
and I faced my own fallibility
I lied to myself
I told myself you threw me away because
I wasn't attractive enough,
I wasn't smart enough,
I was too weak to wait days for your call,
When I was promised it would be later that night,
and I wasn't good enough.
Time flickered
memories ran together
as my mind looked to fit the pieces together
suddenly chaotic thoughts slammed together,
and reality became clear
a gasp escaped my lips
and my eyes widened
my dismissal wasn't based on my lack of strength
but on your weakness
You hadn't counted on my strength,
nor my sense of will.
But had you considered my loyalty?
My character?
Or did you see it as everything you lacked
and I desired?
