So Misunderstood…

Copyright 2008-10-28

SuzieB

Disclaimer: This is fan fiction and is in no way connected with StarGate StarGate Atlantis, MGM or Joe Flanigan who portrays the delectable Colonel John Sheppard. I just like to play in their universe.

“Sheppard, I tell you! I can’t get it in!”

“You managed to get it in last night! Now, come on, just give it to me…see? I got it in. All I had to do was turn it around.”

“Alright, smarty pants. If you’re so smart stick this up there.”

“Stick it up there yourself, Rodney. Besides, I can’t reach it.”

“Bull!” There was the sound of something scraping across the floor.

“Oh, shut up, Rodney! If you’re not going to do anything else then hold this for me.”

“What do you mean hold it?” Rodney asked. “What is that thing anyway?”

“It’s my stick. Now, come on, I need you to hold it…no, Rodney. That’s the wrong hole. Put it in that one.”

“It’s not going to go in, it’s too soft.”

“My stick is not too soft. See? It’s just hard enough. Now hold it right there so I can hammer it in.”

“Dammit!” Rodney yelled.

“What the hell is wrong with you now?”

“You almost hit my hand! And look…you just knocked my balls in the floor.”

“Then quit holding it so tight. What are you trying to do anyway? Break it off? And get your damned balls off the floor before somebody trips over ‘em.”

“I’ll get them up as soon as you get your damned pipe out of my way.”

“Did you blow it?”

“Did I blow what?”

“My pipe? Did you blow it?”

“Of course I blew it! It’s clean! You were standing right there…sheesh. But I tell you that pipe is not gonna fit either. It’s too big.”

“My pipe will fit just fine. Besides it’s not the size of the pipe that matters it’s how good I can hammer it in there. And if you put it in like this then you can turn it which ever way you want to. Come on, feel it. See how easy that just slides right in?”

"Yeah, I can feel it but what did you paint your pipe red for anyway? Won't it stick out?”

“So I’ll know where it is, Rodney. See? I painted it with that red glow in the dark stuff so that I’d know which end I needed to hammer. And once I get it in nice and straight you won't even be able to see that end of it. Now get your damned balls out of the way so I can get this thing in...damn, give me a hand would ya? I didn't realize it was this heavy...”

“Stop!”

“What now?”

“You broke it, smart ass. Now, your pipe is sticking half way out of it.”

“Oh, forget it,” Sheppard snorted and dropped his hammer on the floor. “That's the last time I ask you to help me install a stereo on the Jumper!”