Shandra's Child

"How much farther is this temple of yours, Takira?" Panting and nearly out of breath, Shandra stopped and shifted the heavy pack more evenly across her sore shoulders. "This pack seems to get heavier with every step."

They had been walking since before daylight and even though Takira had given her the lighter pack to carry, Shandra was so tired that she didn't think that she could take another step. She smiled wryly, wishing now that she had let Takira steal a couple of horses from her father's stable like her bond sister had planned but she had been in a hurry to get away. And it was too late for her to be complaining now.

She took another step and had to stop as a stabbing pain cramped her stomach and she winced, rubbing her hands across her swollen belly. Her child was certainly restless today.

"Shandra!" Takira stopped and hurried back to her friend, her bright green eyes filled with worry. "I'm sorry, Sister. It's not far, I promise."

"I hope not." Shandra smiled shakily and pressed her hands down on her belly. "I don't know how much farther I can go on."

"We could have been there sooner, but-"

"Don't remind me, Sister." Shandra smiled crookedly. "I only wish now that I hadn't been so stubborn about it. I could have saved us both a lot of pain."

"The baby?" Takira asked worriedly, eyeing her friend's enormous belly.

Shandra nodded wearily. "She's going to come some time tonight. I can feel her pushing down already."

"But its weeks before your time!" Takira protested a frown on her face. "Are you sure that it will be tonight?"

They didn't have much farther to go but the black clouds gathering in the western sky worried her more than anything else did. More storms were on the way and even though the snow and ice storms had stayed down in the valley the mountain wind had turned colder and there was the scent of ice and snow in the frigid air. In the distance thunder rumbled and Takira shivered despite her heavy cloak. These were mage storms, the worst kind of all. And certainly the most dangerous. She and Shandra needed to get to shelter soon.

"I'm sure, Takira." Shandra smiled tiredly. She'd seen the worried look on her companion's face. Takira knew as well as she did just who was behind the mage storms but there was nothing that she could do about the situation now. What was done was done and she couldn't have changed things even if she tried. With a slight grunt of pain, Shandra eased herself back against a rain-slicked boulder, shivering from the wet chill that ran up her spine. The air was much thinner this high up in the mountains and the pack across her shoulders combined with the extra weight of the baby was starting to put a strain on her. "This child definitely has a mind of her own."

"But still-" Takira brushed back a loose strand of jet-black hair. "It's too soon. It's not natural."

"There is nothing unnatural about my child, Takira." Shandra snapped angrily. "Children choose their own time to be born. We really can't pick the time and place for them."

Takira stepped back and looked guiltily down at her hands. Shandra was having a hard time of it and she above all else should have understood her Sister's pain. And all she was doing was making matters worse.

"I'm sorry, Shandra. I shouldn't have said that but I'm worried about you. After everything that Jezreel and your father did-"Takira didn't like the pale, drawn look on Shandra's face; her dark gray eyes, once so full of life were bleary, bloodshot and ringed by heavy dark circles. Even her thick mane of dark red hair seemed dull and lifeless. This pregnancy seemed to be drawing the very life out of her.

"No." Shandra reached out and gripped her bond sister's hand tightly. "I should be the one to apologize, Takira. I lay too many of my burdens on your shoulders."

"On that you're wrong, my love." Takira gently kissed her and then reached out to ease the pack from her friend's too thin shoulders she added it to her own. "You don't lay enough."

Putting her arm around Shandra's waist, Takira held her close as she helped her to straighten up. "Come on, I'll help you. We'll take the last steps together."

The temple was a small stone building that looked as if it might fall apart any minute and from the look of the leaves and dirt scattered across the cracked stone floor it hadn't been used for a long time. But at least it was shelter from the heavy, slashing rain and ice that had started to pelt the trees and roof of the temple.

Against the dark sky, mage lightening flashed and popped and as she watched, wicked blue tongues of flame licked against the tops of the trees as they bent and twisted in the fierce driving wind. They were looking for her. She could feel their eyes probing through the darkness, searching. Trying to find any trace of a trail that she might have left behind. But the heavy rains had washed away any trace that she might have left behind and her own magic was enough to keep Jezreel or any other mage from finding them.

Shivering, Shandra wrapped the thin blanket Takira had given her more tightly around her shoulders and moved closer to the small fire that Takira had built in the sacrificial bier. The heat from the fire made the little room seem more warm and safe and the flickering light from the flames helped to chase the shadows away. She was glad now that she'd let Takira bring her here. It was so quiet within these walls, so peaceful even though the storms raged just outside the doors. With a tired sigh, she leaned back against the stack of traveling packs that Takira had propped up so that she could rest her back more easily.

Humming softly to herself, she rubbed her swollen belly, trying to soothe the restless stirring of her daughter. Restless, so restless, Shandra thought. Just like her father. Her belly tightened and Shandra frowned, pushing the thought of her daughter's father out of her mind. She wouldn't think about him now. He was the past and the reason that she and Takira had left everything behind them. She rubbed at the healing red cuts on her wrists and shivered. Sometimes she could still feel the bite of the iron chains and she still woke up screaming, trying to fight off the cold touch of his hands as he forced himself on her.

No matter how much she tried to forget him and the life she'd left behind there was one thing that was certain to her. She would kill him if he ever tried to take her daughter away from her. He would never hurt anyone that way again.

Shandra closed her eyes and edged just a little bit closer to the heat of the fire. She was so tired. She and Takira had been traveling for days and even though her bond sister had tried to get her to stop for at least a day to rest, Shandra had refused. She'd wanted to be safe within the walls of the Sanctuary. The one place where she knew that her child's father would never dare to enter.

Takira had told her so much about the Sanctuary and the Sisters that to Shandra it felt like home already. She and Takira had so many plans. Once the child was born she and Takira would go to the Sanctuary and with the aid and teaching of the Sisters she would learn how to make a life of her own and never be beholden to any man for anything.

Outside, the thunder boomed and lightening lit up the sky. Suddenly, Shandra stiffened and sat up with a jerk. She bit down hard on her lip, trying not to cry out as another contraction ripped through her belly. "Oh, Goddess, not now! Please, not now!" She whispered but it was too late and she knew it.

Tears rolling down her face she realized that Takira had been right after all. It was much too early for the child to come. And with each contraction she knew that something was terribly wrong. Another pain lanced through her belly and Shandra moaned as she felt the warm rush of her birth water flow down her legs. Bracing herself against the pain she tried to call out to Takira but the pressure was just too much . . .

But Takira had heard the low moan and she turned quickly from where she'd been kneeling on the floor spreading their sleeping furs out on the floor. In the darkness her face was like that of a pale shadow and she hurried to her bond sister's side.

"It's time." Shandra panted, looking up at her with tear filled eyes. She was trying not to cry but the pain was so intense that she couldn't help it.

"Help me, Takira . . . help me, please . . ."

"Come on, lie down." Takira slipped an arm around her shoulders and helped her to ease down on the sleeping furs. With quick fingers she drew her knife and cut through the heavy sodden breeches Shandra wore and slipped her boots off her feet. "Sorry, Shandra. I'll make you another pair." She laughed and smiled, trying to hide her own fear but she couldn't.

Shandra gasped as the cold air touched her skin and she gripped her friend's arm tightly, her strong fingers clenching Takira's arm in a vise like grip. Breathing hard, she looked up at her companion with wild terrified eyes. "Something's wrong, Takira. I . . . I can feel it."

"Nonsense." Takira gripped her friend's hands tightly in her own. She tried to smile but she was as terrified as Shandra. She had been trained by a mid-wife during her years at the Sanctuary and she had thought that she's seen everything there was to know. But she had never seen a woman with child in as much pain as Shandra. "You're just having first mother fears. That's all. Now relax Shandra. Just go with the pain. Soon it will be all over and you'll be able to hold your beautiful daughter in your arms."

"No." Shandra wailed and started to shake her hear wildly from side to side, tightening her grip on Takira's hands until the woman winced with pain. "I want you to promise me something, Takira. I want you to promise me that you'll take my daughter to the Sisters. I want her to be raised in the home that you were . . . I want . . . I want her to be safe, Takira. Please, take her to your Mother Agra . . . take her to the Sanctuary. Take her where her father can never touch her . . . promise me, Takira . . . promise me . . ."

Takira shook her head. "Shandra, stop talking like that. Your daughter will be safe, here, with us-"

"Promise me, Takira . . ." Shandra demanded harshly. "If you love me as you claim then you'll do what I ask!"

"You know that I love you more than my own life, Sister of my heart." Takira told her fiercely. "I'll take your daughter to the Sisters and I promise that Altan and that bastard Jezreel will never touch her. I would kill them if they ever tried!"

At that Shandra smiled and relaxed enough to lay back against the soft furs, her hands clenching and unclenching as she struggled against the pain. Her face wet with tears, she looked up at her friend. "Thank you, my Sister. Your trust and love mean more to me than you'll ever know."

Takira tried to smile as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Kneeling by Shandra's side she held her lover's hand, lending her strength to her friend as wave after wave of pain swept through her.

Shandra shivered. The fire in the bier had burned low and now the room was cold; the floor beneath her thread bare blanket even colder. She groaned and letting go of Takira's hand, grasped at the thin sheet that covered her sweat drenched body as another pain lanced through her. Crying she clutched at her child-swollen belly and wondered just how much more of this she could take. She was so tired.

"You've got to push, Shandra."

Warm hands lifted the sheet over her knees and pushed her legs apart.

"I can see the baby's head. You've got to push now, Shandra."

"I can't!" Shandra groaned loudly and clenched her teeth against the white-hot pain as salty, stinging tears of sweat ran into her eyes. "Oh, Goddess, please make the pain stop! Make it stop!"

"Then push, Shandra! The pain is not going to stop unless you do!" Takira looked at her friend's pale, contorted face and wanted to cry. There was so much blood! Too much blood that pooled on the blanket and stained the light material a deep crimson red.

Takira wiped the sweat from her face with the sleeve of her tunic and held on tightly to Shandra's hands as she twisted and cried out. She wished that there was something else that she could do; something that she could give Shandra to help her through the pain. She was horribly afraid that if she gave Shandra something now it might hurt her more than help her. Now all that Takira could do was try and help ease her friend through the worst of the pain and pray to the Goddess that both Shandra and her child lived through the night.

Her swollen belly contorted, Shandra bit down hard on her bottom lip, nearly gagging at the coppery taste of blood in her mouth. Desperately, she gripped Takira's hands so tightly that her knuckles turned white from the effort.

Just one more push! Please, Goddess, just one more push . . .

And then just as suddenly, black blood gushed out from between her legs with a foul, evil smelling stench and pooled beneath her pale body.

With a tired sigh, Shandra let go of Takira's hands and fell back against the blanket. Breathing hard she closed her eyes, thankful that the heavy pressure in her belly was finally gone.

Oh, Goddess, forgive me! But I'm going to be sick! Takira thought as she held her breath and tried not to gag as the child emerged from Shandra's womb coated in a thick black slime and lay silently staring up at her. Thinking the child dead, Takira reached down and gently touched a shaking finger the still, small palm.

But as her fingers touched the tiny hand, small fingers tightened around her own and the child looked up at her with the most beautiful green eyes that Takira had ever seen. And in those eyes was reflected the dark storm winds that battered the temple and whistled through the cracks in the worn stone walls.

Her father's eyes, Takira thought, feeling more afraid than she had ever had in her life. Dear Goddess, she has her father's eyes!

"Takira?" Shandra struggled to sit up, reaching out to touch her bond sister's arm. She was so tired. But she had seen the sudden look of terror in Takira's eyes and she knew that she had to see the child; had to hold her precious daughter in her arms if only for a little while.

"She's beautiful, Sister." Takira drew her knife and trying her best to avoid the still, piercing eyes of the child, cut the life cord connecting her to her mother. Ripping a piece of cloth from the hem of her undershirt, she wiped the baby clean as best she could. Then, smiling, she wrapped the shivering child in her cloak and placed her in her mother's arms. "She's beautiful. Just like her mother."

Shandra held the baby tight against her, feeling the soft, strong heart beat of her daughter. The baby whimpered and nuzzled against her breast and Shandra guided the small eager mouth to her nipple. Contented the child began to suckle.

With gentle fingers she caressed her daughter's cheek. There was so much power in this little one. She could feel the energy that passed between them through the mother-daughter bond that they shared. Her daughter was going to be more powerful than either her father or Jezreel had ever imagined. And it was her power that would attract people like them to her and they would try to turn her power to their own use if they could.

She had not said a word to Takira but even before they had escaped to this place she's known that she would never have the time or the knowledge to teach her child what she need to know. She would have to rely on Takira and the Sisters of the Sanctuary to watch over her child. They would have to teach her the things that Shandra knew she never could. And now she so tired and weak that it was becoming a struggle to hold the child to her breast without dropping her. Her thin arms shaking, she held the now sleeping child out to Takira. "Sister, please take her . . . I'm afraid that I might drop her."

"You just need to rest, my love. You've both had a long struggle." Takira told her as she took the child and laid her down in the nest of blankets that Takira had laid out for her.

As Takira touched her, the child opened her eyes. In the darkness, the baby's bright green eyes seemed to glow like tiny emerald flames and Takira felt as if the child understood everything that they were saying. She turned away, uncomfortable with the child's unblinking stare, and picking up the water flask, she offered it to Shandra.

Shandra only pushed the flask away. "No, Takira . . . I need to talk to you while there's still time."

"Shandra, you've got to drink something. You've barely eaten a thing in the last three days. You've got to keep your strength up." Takira protested.

"Takira, will you listen to me?" Shandra exclaimed harshly and at the look on her lover's face, she reached out and gripped Takira's arm with a shaking hand. "I'm sorry, my love. I don't mean to be such a bitch . . ." Frustrated; she ran a hand through her sweat soaked hair. "Takira, I just need to make you . . . I just need for you to listen to me and to understand what I'm trying to tell you."

"There is nothing for me to understand, Shandra." Takira stated angrily. "You're trying to give up and I won't let you."

"Takira-"

"No. You need to eat Shandra. Or at least drink something to build your strength back up. Please, let me make you some broth or maybe some tea. I won't let you starve yourself like this!"

"You don't understand." Shandra shook her head tiredly and laid back against the packs that Takira had propped up behind her. "You just don't understand."

"I understand that you will die if you don't stop this nonsense, Shandra." Takira exclaimed angrily. "You have a daughter now. A daughter that needs you to stay alive!"

"Don't you understand, Takira?" Shandra laughed tiredly. "I was dead before I even left my father's house . . ."

"No!" Takira cried in a choked voice and pressed her blood stained hands to her ears. "I will not listen to this!"

"Takira, if only I could make you understand. If only I could tell you what Altan and Jezreel really did to me."

"Shandra, please! Don't talk like this! You've got to try and get better. Your daughter needs you. You can't give in to them, you can give up. Please, you can't let them win!"

"I never had a chance, my love." Shandra replied tiredly. Her voice was barely more than a whisper and Takira had to lean close to hear her. "Altan and Jezreel . . . don't let them hurt her, Takira. Promise . . . me . . . promise me that you won't let them hurt our daughter!"

"Shandra, please don't do this! I love you, I can't do this without you!"

"You never know until you try, dear heart." Shandra smiled weakly and held up a hand to stop Takira's words of protest. "I love you more than you will ever know but you have to listen to me now, Takira. She's going to need you to watch over her. And with another's help you'll take my place and you will become her mother."

"Shandra, what-" And suddenly she understood what Shandra was trying to tell her and her eyes widened in alarm. "No, you can't do this, Shandra. Please, don't break the bond between us."

"I have to, my sister. There is another one for you, I've seen him . . ."

"Shandra, please don't do this!" Takira cried and gathered her friend's slight body up in her arms. "I'll make you better. Just don't give up on me now . . . please don't leave me now . . . I need you too much." She pressed her cheek against Shandra's sweating forehead and felt the heat pouring out of her. Holding Shandra against her was like embracing the open flames of a fire. A fire that was slowing burning out.

"He . . . can . . ." Shandra whispered and rested her head against Takira's shoulder, closing her eyes. There was so much that she needed to tell Takira, so much that her friend needed to know. But she was tired . . . so very . . . tired . . .

Takira whimpered in the back of her throat, biting back the bitter tears that welled up inside of her and she felt the bond between them dissolve as Shandra's head rolled bonelessly against her shoulder.

And alone in the endless black void left by the broken bond, Takira lifted her head and added her keening cry to the moaning of the wind.

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