Nosophoros

All characters of StarGate and StarGate Atlantis belong to their respective writers and MGM. This is a work of fan fiction. I just want to play with them for awhile.

Chapter 10

John was lost and he really didn't care. For hours now he'd been flying around aimlessly. What he was looking for, he didn't know but from what he could see, there really wasn't much of anything at all.

The one town down below, if you could even call it that, was the only thing that he'd even seen besides the trees. But he wasn't about to even go near that temptation. No matter what the thing screaming inside of him was telling to do.

He would stick to the grass plains that stretched out down below him. They seemed empty and lifeless enough.

At least that was a good thing, he grimaced. As far as he could tell, there wasn't anyone out here that he could hurt except for his own self.

This world seemed like nothing more than some little backwater planet and he wondered why the Ancients had even had it listed in their data base. Or why he'd been so drawn to it that he would have choked someone to get it.

He closed his eyes and tried to force the image of his fingers wrapped around Chuck's throat out of his mind. It was better to just add it to the rest of the mistakes he would soon atone for.

And it was already too damn long of a list.

“Deal with it later, dumbass.” He grumbled to himself.

He sighed and looked out at the clouds looming dark and gray in the distance. Already he could see lightning flashing through the clouds and knew that soon afterward there would be thunder.

Thinking, he shrugged slightly. Maybe if he flew the Jumper straight into the storm?

That storm looked like it was going to be a big one. A little bit of hope surged through him. A sudden flash of energy from a stray bolt of electricity would hopefully be enough to fry him.

But then he felt a nagging touch of doubt and he spit out a curse. The shields on the Jumper would prevent his seat at the controls from being turned into an electric chair.

There had to be another way.

He leaned forward slightly and looked out the viewport. Maybe if he landed in one of those empty fields. But that probably wouldn't work either. With his luck, the storm would blow out and he'd be left standing there dripping wet and still angry with himself.

Shit.

He shook his head, pulled the Jumper into a wide circle and headed back the way he had come. After a few minutes he saw the 'Gate and a sudden thought came to him.

What if he dialed a random address into the DHD? The best thing he could hope for was that the worm hole would open up into some fiery pit. Maybe then he'd finally be rid of this guilt that was eating him up inside. Away from the thing that was trying to force him to its will. Away from the thing he was terrified of becoming.

Maybe it was the one thing he could do to kill the Beast inside him.

It would be the best damn thing that could happen to him right now anyway, he thought angrily. A smoldering hole in Hell would be the best place for him. Especially after what he'd done.

God seemed to have totally forgotten him so maybe it was the only way that he could truly say that he was sorry.

He reached out, ready to start dialing in an address when an alarm starting going off inside the Jumper's cabin.

“Damn it!” He had strayed off course and now a wall of trees suddenly loomed up in front of him.

For a split second he hesitated and the Beast slipped out of his control. He felt it rear it's ugly head. He tried to stop it but before he could, his mind cried out in fear and his hand pulled back on the controls.

The Jumper pulled up, barely managing to skim the top of tallest ones before the ship levelled out again.

He swore angrily. That was a fucking stupid thing to do. He should have plowed right into them. If he'd angled it just right, the Jumper would have made a spectacular nose dive right into that jagged rock face just on the other side of the trees.

Even if Rodney had been able to track where he'd gone, the fireball from the Jumper crashing would have been enough to take him out. There wouldn't have even been enough left of him that dental records could even identify.

Before the thing inside of him could get loose again, he closed his eyes and willed his brain not to think.

But it was hard. He could feel it there inside of him, growling hungrily and getting stronger by the minute. The Beast was fighting him but he was finally able to force it to be quiet and he could feel it there, just waiting for the chance to break free.

He knew that the Beast didn't want to die.

But John didn't want it to live.

His mouth set into a determined line. “You're not going to win, you son of a bitch.” His hand tightened on the controls and he heard the whine of the engines as he willed them into full power. “I won't let you.”

He flipped the Jumper around and headed back for the towering line of trees.

“Where did you find him?” Alyssa Nyx looked at the pale haired girl standing next to her and frowned.

Shia gave her a timid look. “Out beyond the forest, Mistress.” She raised her hand and a dreamy look came over her face. Her fingers reached out and she brushed back a lock of dark hair from the stranger's forehead.

The frown on Alyssa's face deepened.

“Don't touch him.” She let out a hiss of anger and pushed the girl's hand away. Shia jerked back, holding her hand to her chest as if she'd been burned. She looked up at Alyssa, a terrified look on her face and then she quickly lowered her head.

“Go and bring me the salve from the storage room.” When the girl hesitated, Alyssa took a step toward her. That seemed to break the girl from her trance and she darted away, disappearing out the door like a startled rabbit.

Alyssa waited until the girl's footsteps had faded away and then she let out a deep breath. She looked down at the man stretched out on her bed. It was no wonder that Shia had been so taken with him. He was a handsome enough thing. But why did the girl have to bring every stray she found home to her?

And especially one like this?

Gently, she turned the man's head. He groaned softly when he felt the touch of her finger's on his face but other than that he made no other sound. She waited a few moments but when she touched him again, he lay still and made no move at all.

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