Why did it always have to happen to him?

He felt so exposed standing there with his pants down and the wind whistling under his shorts.

John sighed and looked down at the dark head of the woman on the ground beside him. Why did she have to be so damned attractive too? He twitched slightly. God, he should have been a briefs man. Maybe then he wouldn't be having the feeling that she was getting a good view of Christmas and New Year too.

“Damn it, Colonel.” She looked up at him and frowned. “Stop squirming.”

“It hurts.” He said through gritted teeth.

“Then maybe you should watch where you're walking next time.”

He felt her fingers on the back of his leg. Jesus! He rolled his eyes and looked up at the quickly darkening sky. “How much longer is this gonna take? That storm is gonna be here soon.”

“You should have thought about that before you decided to go storming through a thicket of thorns.”

“And I wouldn't have if you hadn't fallen in that stream.” He snorted and shook his head. “The way you were yelling...I thought you were drowning. And what do I find? You sitting on your behind in a foot of water because your foot slipped on a rock.”

“Hey!” He yelled when she dug the tweezer's into the back of his knee.

She held the tweezer's up, showing him him the thin barbed looking thing she'd just pulled out of his leg. “Want me to leave the rest of them in there?”

“Just hurry up.” He growled and quickly looked away. His eyes scanned the cliff side above them, his eyes lighting on a dark shape that was hopefully an entrance to a cave. Off in the distance thunder rumbled ominously.

“Look-I am cold and I am wet and I certainly didn't expect to end up being your nurse maid.”

“So am I!” He jerked again. “And I didn't think I was going to end up having to baby sit you.” He shook his head in disgust. “Jesus! You damned scientist's...can't you learn to stay in one fucking place? No! You've got to wander off and then I end up having to go and look for you!”

She plucked out another of the wicked looking things with a little more force than she'd needed too.

“Shit!” He yelled and tried to pull away from her. “God damn! What don't you yank out a hunk of flesh while you're at it?”

“Sorry.”

But he could tell from the way she chuckled when she said it that she didn't mean it.

Her fingers tightened around his leg as she pulled out the next one. She was a little more gentle but not by much.

“There. I think that was the last one.”

“About fucking time.” He yanked his pants up, wincing as the rough cloth scraped over is sensitive skin.

She got to her feet and glared up at him. All five feet of her was practically shaking like a tuning fork. Despite the pain, he laughed to himself. Any minute he expected smoke to come pouring out of her pert little ears.

She cocked her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You think this is funny?”

“I'm not laughing.”

“Yeah, I believe that.” She snarled.

“Oh, just shut up.” He reached for his gun. He jerked a thumb at the path leading up to the narrow ledge above. “We need to get up there and out of this wind before before that storm hit's this valley. Do you think that you can follow behind me without getting lost?”

She snatched up her pack, slung it over her shoulder and gave him a dirty look. “Maybe I should hold onto your belt.”

“I'd tie you to my damn back if I thought it would help.” He grabbed her wrist and gave her a jerk. “Now, shut up and come on.”

~

Why did this always have to happen to her?

Piper Devlin leaned back against the cave wall. Glumly, she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes.. Her teeth chattered. She was so cold.

She brushed a lank strand of hair back from her face and shook her head. “I'm freezing.” She shook again. “Any chance of getting that fire started any time soon?”

“Not with this crap.” He snorted. His eyes scanned around the edges of the cave. Sticks and leaves littered the rocky floor but most of it smelled like wet and mold. John Sheppard though was a persistant man.

He searched every inch that he could, finally resorting to using his flashlight and a stick to probe into the darkest corners. Thank goodness that the cave had seemed to be abandoned. Piper didn't especially like the idea of ending up some animal's snack but she barely had the strength to move.

“Ha!” Sheppard finally gave a cry of triumph. He rummaged around for a few minutes and then came straggling back, a load of wood in his arms.

Within a few minutes, tendril's of smoke curled into the air and Piper sneezed and then started to cough. She groaned and put her hands over her face. “Now you're trying to suffocate me.”

John gave her a cold look as he blew gently across the smoldering leaves and the sparks that were trying to flame to life. “If I had a pillow, I would.”

“You're so funny, Colonel.” She sneered.

“And I would be safe and warm back in Atlantis right now it it weren't for you.”

“Oh, just stick it.”

He murmured something.

“What did you say?”

“Believe me, you don't want to know.” Finally, the leaves caught fire. Steadily, he fed wood into the flames and didn't look at her again until he had a nice little fire going. “You're gonna have to get out of those clothes, you know.”

“Not on your life.” Her words were sharp but there was no way she could hide the sudden flush in her cheeks. She rubbed at her face, praying just a little that it was the start of a fever and not the way the man was looking at her.

“Look, I'm not exactly thrilled about seeing you naked either.” Liar! A little voice niggled at the back of his mind. “But I don't think Doctor Weir would like it very much if I let you die from hypothermia.”

“Trust me. I'm not going to die.” She hugged herself tighter and closed her eyes. At least I hope not.

“Sheesh.” He sighed. “Why do I always get stuck with the hard headed ones?” Reaching back, he pulled his pack toward him and pulled out a blanket. Getting to his feet he walked toward her. “Here.”

Something draped over her shoulders. She opened her eyes long enough to see that Sheppard had laid the blanket across her shoulders. Not about to argue, she snuggled into it.

“Thank you.” She finally managed to chatter out.

“Huh, you need to get up.” She felt a tug on her arm as he knelt down beside her. “Even with the blanket you're not going to get warm sitting way over here.”

“I'm fine.”

“No.” He tugged on her arm again. “You're not. And that's not why I gave you the blanket.”

“I told you, I'm fine.”

“No. You're not.” His hand slid under her elbow, his fingers lightly brushing against her breast as he hauled her to her feet. John tried to hide a grin. She was so short that she barely reached the middle of his chest. He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up so that she had to look at him. “I'll hold the blanket so that you can strip off those wet things.” He grinned wryly. “I promise. I won't look.”