Computers

• Those who can't write programs, write help files.
• Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error
• Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: It can't be done;it's a hardware problem.
• Linux: Find out what your missing while your rebooting windows NT.
• All programmers are playwritters,and all computers are lousy actors.
• The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
  is by accident, that's were we come in we're computer professionals.
• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build
  bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
  produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
• "The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul
  up there's no law against whacking them around a bit."


• I don't believe his URL allows outside access.




Random Junk

• Man I've cut this board three time now and it's still too short.
• Fortune Cookie says: Dude your doomed.
• You know what? It's really hard to sore like an Eagel, when you hang out with a bunch of trukeys.
• Have ya ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
• If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
• Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
• The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
• Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.



Wives

• My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
  if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Insults

• I'd explain it to you but your brain would explode.
• I like your approach... let's see your departure.
• He forgot to pay his brain bill.
• Hard to believe that he beat out a million other sperm.
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