Funni's
Computers
- Those who can't write programs, write help files.
- Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error
- Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It can't be done;it's a hardware problem.
- Linux: Find out what your missing while your rebooting windows NT.
- All programmers are playwritters,and all computers are lousy actors.
- The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident, that's were we come in we're computer professionals.
- Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build
bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- "The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul
up there's no law against whacking them around a bit."
- I don't believe his URL allows outside access.
Random Junk
- Man I've cut this board three time now and it's still too short.
- Fortune Cookie says: Dude your doomed.
- You know what? It's really hard to sore like an Eagel, when you hang out with a bunch of trukeys.
- Have ya ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
- Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
- The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
- Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
Wives
- My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Insults
- I'd explain it to you but your brain would explode.
- I like your approach... let's see your departure.
- He forgot to pay his brain bill.
- Hard to believe that he beat out a million other sperm.