Random Thoughts

These are some random thoughts,
"i" have and will ponder for a week,
how can one love, a single soul,
before it knows who it is to seek?

these are some random thoughts,
that scramble inside my head,
this thing there is no escaping,
it is needed to be said,

these are some random thoughts,
i hope they will make sense to you,
what i can not say,in a normal way,
is that they're just two,

these random thoughts,
are for a friend i share,
she is forever happy,
she's found someone who will always care,

these random thought,
leave a hard thought to question,
can one find love where one isn't looking?
such a simple confession....
***Michelle**Brittny**Torp***

Impact 7/5/04
Indent my life,
as a rubberband indents a wrist,
Change my mind,
like a indepth thought might,
Compact my soul,
as a bat to a ball,
Stablize my walk,
like a new pair of shoes,
Fix my eyes,
as corrective lenses will,
Breakaway my sin,
like the saved souls,
Control my mouth,
as a mussle controls a dog,
Rock my emotions,
like the beat of a drum,
Rob my oldways,
as you have them,
Impact my heart,
like you have this room!
***Michelle**Brittny**Torp***

The Dancer 5/13/04
Tip tip tap tap tap,
over and over again,
the same rutine,
the dancer practices the fenallii,
a great ending for the show,
the time is approching,
its coming soon,
Just about enough nerve for one last time,
Her anxiety grows,
as she waits for the Royal red curtain to pull away,
the music is now cued,
and the beat starts to blow,
her performing face is on,
as she gets caught in the music,
She is now left playing,
Someone not herself,
a perfect lived girl,
is the mask she hides behind,
She no longer just "the dancer",
No, shes the star,
a smile that reins from ear to ear,
and facials that would blow you away,
Tip, tip, tap, tap, tap,
She is an open book,
of love and goodness,
the face she plays,
after to night she knows,
it will always be the same,
She can't forget it,
her purpose is to be what she isn't,
and shows who she would love to be,
She dances there so perfectly and so carefree,
never the less she gives him her all,
and push herself thru out the play,
still hes there with a shaking head,
her attitude pulls her thru,
and she doesn't care,
shes there to dance, giving it her best,
She floats when she leaps, so beauiful at peace,
no room or time for pain, gliding across the floor,
it is coming to the end,
and she jucies it for all it wroth,
Here the part, the Grand Fenallii,
shes there to escape,
there to ...Dance, Dance, Dance,
Tip, tip, tap tap tap,
Now the end is near,
her dream may be over,
back to her reality,
of him and nothing seemingly,
changes for her,
She dances to escape,
the fights and the,
weary scary nights,
Shes going somewhere,
headed to Julieard,
this is her dream,
the one that he has crushed,
as she stops to take her bow,
and her special aclaim,
the look from him,
could have killed her,
right then and there,
she began to dance,
once again,
and everyone stayed to see,
it was only her, The Dancer,
gliding and floating shes escaping,
Shes dancing,
Tip,Tip, tap tap tap,
Alice cones, one after the other,
on and on,
her face so content,
shes intangled with her dance,
He is still disturbed,
with his folded hands,
he knows her sercert,
a simple mistaken to,
make her fall would
be the end of them,
this is her last chance,
her last show to dance,
so she closes the stage with leaps,
and lovely figures,
Shes in another place,
a "lala" land, a fantisy,
She gives a curticy, She smiles to the end,
and leave the stage,
he's angry and he screams,
" You could have lost the babies!"
Tip, tip tap tap tap.
***Michelle**Brittny***Torp***

Butterfly 4/29/04
The only thing wrong ,
with catching butterflies,
in a glass jar is you sufficate them,
cut off their life lines and make them dim,

You may have captured,
their beauty in a clear window,
so you can gock and stare,
but that can only last as long as the air,

They being so beautiful,
is too much to house,
when you do these such things,
they begin to stop fluttering their wings,

You may think of them,
as just another bug,
but they are so much more,
by cagging them they no longer sore,

They've been taken out,
of their comfort zones,
So you could look and see,
could this butterfly be FREE???

***Michelle**Brittny**Torp***

Butterfly Part II 9/11/04

Changed 6/20/04
I looked up from,
the bill of that hat,
and asked...
What are you staring at?

With a shake of your head,
you said "nothing",
But i knew,
it must have been something,

I catch you looking,
into my eyes,
and just turn away,
staring into the overcast skys,

I looked at you before,
but could never really see,
Just how much we've both grown up,
and it changed me.

Such a great friend,
that was in conseal,
and my hidden talent,
that you helped me reveal.
***Michelle **Brittny** Torp***

Eyes of an Ex Boyfriend 6/13/04
Why is it that I must sit and stare,
at him holding you in those strong arms,
when it was I that,
promised I'd forever protect you from harm,

You look so happy now,
I'm glad for you both I am,
I still can't believe just how,
quickly you found another man,

I know those eyes and exactly,
when your falling,
their green at the bottom,
and so I'm balling,

Why I'd give you up?
such a self reasoning,
Why didn't I pay attention
to the words that you'd sing?

You were always so good to me and,
all it was, was my jealousy,
I couldn't let someone,
a girl dare to be better then me,

Never recongizing your inner beauty,
I lost me mind,
even after stating the words your mine,
all you wanted was for me to be kind,

I used you, and abused,
the very thing you didn't want me to,
I can see it all so clearly now,
I miss you,

Now that I've blown my chance,
I will congratulate your new love,
he's twice the man I ever was,
he probably equally loves the one above,

Such a devine butterfly,
why'd I ever treat you the way i did,
wasn't it you that said,
you buy me back with the highest bid?

What a truthful soul,
that i couldn't see,
all you wanted was to be loved,
by a real man, to you that was key,

Funny how life works out,
you found your perfect lover,
and you don't even,
have to put on a mask or cover,

All I can remember now,
is that your "ditziness" was mistaken,
for your prideful genius,
a heart that was completly broken,

You killed me with one look,
those precius(sp) eyes of glass,
oh but they are,
such a beautiful thing of the past,

I remember the night you told me,
its NOW or NEVER,
and it was all up to me,
now that choice has become an endeaver,

Your words cut threw me,
still now even when i read,
they open old wounds,
and make them bleed,

Why didn't I just tell you one last time,
that i'd always care?,
maybe it wouldn't have made a difference,
we were an unthinkible pair,

So many times I had the choice,
how to spend my time,
I gave into the lies,
she's mine, she'll be fine,

well, I see my actions,
following them and this is where i've been lead,
now i'm all alone,
sparlled out on an *empty* bed,

It hurts only to think your name,
but to see it and hear it in everyones speech,
I feel i've jumped into a pond,
and you are thy leech,

I read your words
and only now i understand
all you wanted was love,
happiness and sun setting sands,

I made you fear who you were,
so you changedto be someone you were not,
what was it that you wrote once...
oh its been so long I've forgot,

I wish to make it alright,
but i fear i'm to late,
I heard about your wedding,
tis, your man of fait,

The pictures show,
your hopefilled dream,
a white dress so beautiful,
your perfect scene,

I heard he's all you needed,
he must listen to your rambling
and breaks down in your emotional state,
to just feel your heart beating,

Such a fine women,
you've turned out to be,
so hurt, but glad that,
you didn't chose me,

I would've only made
you a trophy wife,
when all you wanted
was the love for your life,

You needed someone to have you,
for a midhight cuddle,
and conversations that,
made sense and were suddle,

I wonder if you still have,
that raggy old bear?,
I hope yo do,
right next to you, is he there?

God must know what he's doing,
he's granted you all you wished,
in reward for your trusting life
when he made the definition of beauty, you were not missed,

In your wrttings,
I can still tell,
that you love every single sunset,
a rainbow of prefection, as if under a spell,

I just wanted to,
give a congratualtions to you,
cause, you've achieved,
all 100 things, that you were supose to,

So here's to your hopes and,
all your dreams have they come true?,
I won't be like your father,
I'm proud of you,

I may have never said it but,
I couldn't stand your strong willed motivation,
you were making me seem so small,
tightening the tensions,

One last thing before ,
I must dispart,
It was never I,
who catured your heart,

No but it was he,
your beloved friend,
i must be leaving now,
my lady this is the end,

I now put the ,
gun to my head,
and remember all of those,
good things you'd said,

"I've said it once,
and I'll say it once more,
don't seal close,
don't lock this door."

I'm sorry Mrs., but,
I can't escape you, your in my thoughts,
now I tell you what you've always wanted to hear,
I love you forever, and love you lotz,

Oh the angels sang to him ,
such a sweet lullaby,
truth being she had never given up oh him
no matter how hard she'd try,

She couldn't bring herself
to so such a thing,
the funeral soon after,
in late late spring,

Her love he had talked about so much,
was her love for sure,
because, he caught her ever single tear,
he had the cure,

She thought to herself,
for he hurt me so,
have his life not be wasted,
he let me go.

***MICHELLE**BRITTNY**TORP***

After Me 8/23/04
Can no one see me?
My body lying there?
No breath in my lungs,
They said they'd always care.

Oh what great friends,
I've chosen them to be,
built them up in times of need,
and now they can't even see.

Sacraficing my time,
and effort to be there for them,
now I lie motionless on the ground,
invisible, What might have been?

If I didn't love them,
as much as i do,
friendship forever an always,
and it ends with a simple Adu.

I find out they never were,
as high school fades away,
to be the fainstest memory,
why is it leaving, when I want to stay?

Floating, lifting to the heavens,
they've made no place for me now,
Who will speak for this dead child,
As i kneel before my king, and bow?

Not a word spoken,
of me after the fact,
Which lead me to believe,
my friends were just putting on another act.

So now that I'm gone,
I must at least wonder why,
I took their place in front of death,
Why didn't they even cry?

My life was a choice of death,
their thoughts of me, not so nice,
My name means nothing anymore,
Just another bad gamble, "throw of the dice."

They didn't even do,
What i asked of them,
My good works useless to ears unheard,
poetry hidden locked away, and now dim.

My final wishes ment nothing,
and they didn't take me seriously,
all i asked above all was...
publish my poetry.

What great friends I,
made them out to be,
that's just too bad,
that you could careless about me.

***Michelle**Brittny**Torp***

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