I want to turn this over in my hand
I want a chance to examine this

from far away
from farther away
this is how I'll create forgiveness

I want to close my mind to you
I want to just forget

what's so far away
what's farther away
this is how I'll create my wall

this is how I'll create
this is how I will c.r.e.a.t.e
this is how I will destroy myself.

.....

What You Really Love

this is about an emotionally abusive relationship that this girl is in
and her whole self image is in the process of becoming non-existent, but, his
true colors are becoming clearer and clearer to everyone else--it's becoming
evident that he only cares about himself and he'll use manipulation to get
whatever he wants.

he's waiting
for her
he loves her
just long enough to breathe

he's pacing
thinking
she's worthless
he'll probably just leave

each year
when the ground turns cold
I know
what you really love

she's lonely
with him
she'd tell him
but she doesn't want a scene

she's tired
thinking
she's worthless
she'll probably just leave

each year
when the ground turns cold
I know
what you really love

I know
what you really love

.....

Amazing

Falling over my own two feet
You quickly catch me
Making the same mistakes
But you don't reject me

And I don't
Undertand your grace
From a God so holy
That it would kill me to see your face

Isn't it amazing
That you would even save me
[When] I am so unworthy
You still sent your son for me

Burning inside my soul
I have this thirst
I want to love you so much more
Because you loved me first

And I don't
Understand why you would wait
For me to turn
And realise that you're the only way

Isn't it amazing
That you would even save me
[When] I am so unworthy
You still sent your son for me

Isn't it amazing
That you would even save me
[When] I am so unworthy
You still sent your son for me

.....

It's Not The Same

I feel it on my shoulders
I feel it in my eyes
I feel it in my throat

I feel it in my bedroom
I feel it in the shower
I feel it on my clothes

And it's not the same
from when it started

I feel it in my mind
I feel it in my stomach
I feel it setting in

I feel it in the echo
I feel it in the shadow
I feel it in the wind

And its not the same
from when it started, no

It's not the same
from when it started�

.....

Janelle's Song

this is my cheesy emo love ballad thing. it's not quite as emo as it is
when i just play it on the piano, but you can use your imagination... haha.

I awake again to myself
I'm back again in the same place
I always go again
I always find myself here

I can't bring myself
to lie to you tonight
I can't bring myself
to say I'll be alright
I can't deny this anymore

I sleep again to nightmares
I'm back again in the same dreams
I always dream again
I always find myself here

I can't bring myself
to lie to you tonight
I can't bring myself
to say I'll be alright

But I can't bring myself
to lie to you again
I can't bring myself
to call you just a friend
I can't deny this anymore

I know you'll understand the way the pieces fell
but I'm falling, I've fallen for you

I can't bring myself
to get up off this floor
I can't bring myself
to fake it anymore
I can't bring myself� home.

.....

Channel A

I was just playing around with some guitar samples for another song
when I started this one. I had been listening to a lot of Sigur Ros at the
time, which you can tell from the mellowness. And channel A is the one that
has zero distortion at all, hence the name for a laid back, undistorted song.

.....

Piano Song v.4

I was just starting to learn to use my effects when i made this. I
made a couple different versions of this song, including some remixes that
sound pretty cool too, but i thought i should put more variety on this disc
so i chose this version.

.....

Interlude I

just messing around, i guess. I don't even remember making this.

.....

Exit 294

just a little dance thing...

.....

Interlude II

messing around again. i actually do remember making this one though.

.....

Surfer Rock Mix

everybody seems to think that this would make a good movie song. so,
i'll be expecting all you movie directors to give me a call. there's also
a couple more versons of this song, too.

.....

Interlude III

trance thing. the intro reminds me of bjork.

.....

Interlude IV

cheesy as cheese.

.....

Techno Piano

who knew that an entire beat could be made from the sound of flute tabs
clicking? yeah i was just having fun with this one. oh and the little cello
part in there was crazy cuz i chose to record it while i was making the wav
file just so i wouln't have to listen to the song again, so i only had one chance
to do it right -- no pressure or anything.

.....

Untitled [R+B mix]

there are i think 3 versions of this.. its just a little new age
progression, and i didn't like the beat with it at first, but it grew on me
so i went ahead and added it in there.

.....

The Bayleaf Peddler

When i was little my mom used to go to this tiny store on hwy 98 that
has little homey things--candles and homemade decorative things and they
always played new age piano stuff like this. i probably would never have
played this kind of thing if it wernt for that.

.....

Interlude V

yeah. weird. very bjork-like. i was just messing around with stuff.

.....

Dance in my Pants

excuse the title. heh. yeah, messing around again, i think. there was
one actual melody in there that i had been wanting to use for a while, so my
guess is that the song is just an excuse for that. oh, and with a title like
dance in my pants, i got to use all the beats i would normal consider overboard.
*evil laugh*

.....

Untitled pt. 1

loops..

.....

Untitled pt. 2

..and more loops.

.....

If only love were enough

this song reminds me very much of the ending of the song "Je Crois Toi"
(off of celine's album, S'il Suffisait D'Aimer) where the band sort of jams
really softly and low-key. anyway, sil suffisait d'aimer means 'if only love
were enough' in english. listen to Je Crois Toi: real player or windows media player

.....