It's become fall now and I'm learning what it's like to miss somebody so close to my heart. It was just last night when I realized there wouldn't be highs of 100�F until next summer, and that from now on highs would be days with little rain and without freezing temperature. Nature shows its best and I wonder if you can see the beauty of the leaves in the afternoon sun.

It's cold and foggy, and the air is humid when I leave in the morning. I'm still the only one walking down the street with the few lights, the one with the dark backstreets and the dogs that still are inside the houses in the morning but you can hear tham bark. I still wonder if the people in the trolley actually see me or if it's just an illusion that they stare outside and laugh. If you were here, I'd want them to laugh because that would mean that they don't knwo what special bond we have, what it feels like to belong together. But this way, I feel a little lost each moment, when this trolley passes me. The people at the trolley stop still are the same. There's still the Russian kids that you'll never see alone, and the two girls that talk about me are still there. They probably still talk stuff, seem ridiculous to me.

Without you, I will always feel incomplete and hurt inside. And the pain I feel is killing me. I feel it kill a little part of me each time, and I wish I could come back to me and push me through it, but it's not real. Maybe someday you won't even have the chance anymore to think of me alive. Would you be crying? You would. Yes you would.

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