February 2nd 2001

I skipped PE yesterday, but I'd handed it an excuse. It's so much easier when you can sign excuses yourself. Saskia told me today that my PE teacher had said that I'd have to get excuses signed by my doctor if I don't come to PE class that often. That's not fair, finally I'm 18 and I'll still need someone else to sign my excuses? Where's the fairness here?

I got my Math exam back today, of course I failed it. I was writing something when my teacher put the paper next to me on the table, he said nothing, I took notice that I'd received my paper back but didn't even have to look which grade I'd gotten, it had been clear all the time. I didn't feel sad, down, or depressed because of it, failures in Math have become something normal, more or less like a routine. Nobody said something about it, and nobody asked about my result, it was clear to everyone. I found it a bit unfriendly that nobody asked if I was okay or so, but, what can I expect.

Jojo later asked me about it, and what I was going to do now. He's a real sweetie, he really seemed worried, and kept giving me advice. We only talked about that problem during break, and while Saskia was gone. Jojo had very bad grades in Math himself, but somehow has managed to improve them. However, his have never been as bad as mine. Yet, I have a feeling that he understand me more than others do. He cheered me up and made me feel like if he cared. I think he really does. I noticed him looking over to me quite often all day, and he looked worried. When I talked to Jojo, I also told him not to worry about me, and told him that things would work out alright. I really like Jojo, he's the kind of friend that knows when he's needed, but stays in the background most of the time. But when he's needed, he's there in an instant, and you needn't even say a thing about it. I like it when I needn't explain feelings. He just knows.

Saskia has been extremely annoying, she's been such a stupid immature bitch lately. I told her very clearly to let me alone because I didn't want anything to do with her, but there is no way that she'd ever get it. I told her a couple of times what I don't like about her, I suppose I was being harsh, but she didn't even notice it, or she just didn't care. This poor girl doesn't haave enough social intelligence to realize when she is not needed, and plain and simple, in the wrong place. It almost makes me crazy that she doesn't get it. I hope she'll get that soon, I don't want to have a fight with her at school. She's not worth it.

I felt frustrated yesterday, I was quite aggressive and jumped at everything possible. I sweared like never before and yelled at my brother and whatnot. I can't explain why, it was probably because all of the stress I'd had at school. I got an A in Latin and a pretty good result in a French exam back, but I was confronted with so many other things that I couldn't sort out at the moment they happened. I wanted to be alone yesterday, all day, and since I couldn't be alone, I was very tense. I am no more today.

My subdomain was completed yesterday.:) That means Immortal will be up very soon. I'm still working on the content, but I've got the feeling that I'm getting ahead. I am looking forward to opening it very very much, can't wait.;) It will be an amazing site.

At the moment I'm feeling pretty good, actually, just a little burnt out, like the few days before. I want a break, I need a break. But I can't have one if I don't tell my mom about what's been going on. Life can be such a complicated thing, not good..

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