January 29th 2001

Ouch what a day. School sucked big time, I got tested in Chemistry although I was sick the last class, and the class prior. Of course I didn't know a thing about what my teacher wanted to ask me about. He asked me something about the basics of our current topic when he realized I didn't know a thing, obviously, and seemed angry when I'd not known the right answer either. Of course I kept complaining and telling him that I was treated unfairly. How am I supposed to know something that was talked about when I was not present? I hadn't had the time to revise it yet. Stupid person. Actually it is forbidden to test students that were sick the class prior. But no, I seem to be an exception. I told him he'd had half a year to test me, and now he wanted to test me the day although I'd not been at school the class prior. That does upset me, and I didn't get tired to defend myself. It wasn't only me who felt she was done wrong, Flo later told me what an asshole that teacher was too. Heh. I was treated unfairly, really. I doubt it was legal anyway to test me today. But ok. It does upset me, I admit it, I am extremely angry about that.

My Economy test went ok I guess, I won't pass with flying colors but I don't think it was all that bad. Economy is something you can do easily by using your brain, everything is logical.
Kathrin, Olivia and Julia were all sick today, so I was lucky enough to sit next to Saskia today. She made some stupid comments which she seemed to find funny and stopped them for a while when she realized I wasn't reacting on them in any way. She's one fake, immature girl. Nobody likes her but she thinks they do. She doesn't even realize what people talk about her behind her back. Moreover she thinks that she's incredibly sexy and good looking. That always makes me grin real big, and I have to remember Jos� when he told me in all details why Saskia was the last girl he'd go out with. O-kay. So much about school.

When I came home, my dad was home of course. Next week he'll go to work again, thank God. The problem is, when he is at home all day, he can sleep in, and is then in a very good mood and jokes around and whatnot. When I come home from school, I want to be left alone, and I don't want to hear too many jokes that get really annoying after a while. And when he then throws socks at me, it may happen easily that I am angry. Because I want to be left alone.
Something was wrong with our internet provider this afternoon so I was in an even worse mood. I just plain hate it when I come home from school and can't check my mail.
When my brother and I were gone, I heard him talk loud, and as I was told later, he complained about my brother and me never doing any work in the household. That is not true. Who does he think irons his shirts and pants? And who goes to the basement to get his beer and my mom's mineral water? And who takes his packages and letters to the post office? Definitely not him. It was weird. The fight didn't touch me a lot. Not much later he got really mad because he wanted to tell my mom how little time he had although he'd been at home all day, and she said she knew what that was like, interrupting him. Oh my. It all turned into a stupid fight about that he'd never say anything again when she knew everything already. God how old is he? He makes out of small things such huge events.
I don't understand him. He never considers to excuse, I doubt he actually thinks it's necessary. It's not fair towards my mom, she does so much for him. Today I remembered clearly the reasons I want to move out. Such meaningless fights about little, meaningless things nag you after a while. And when he fights with me, it hurts after a while too.

<<<