I just watched City of Angels. It's a beautiful movie. Nicolas Cage is an amazing actor, and so is Meg Ryan. They make a great team in the movie I think. There you have prove that it doesn't need countless special effects to make a good movie. I saw the movie for the second time, but I still cried in the end. I want to have the book Seth quotes from when they're in the library, "A Moveable Feast" by Ernest Hemingway. The quotes were beautiful, and I'm curious about the whole book. I'll ask for it for Christmas.

This week was a very nice one. I spent so much time with Tobi. Wednesday we didn't have school, and in the afternoon, Tobi called me on my cell phone and asked if I was home and if I had time. Of course I did, so I picked him up at the tram station half an hour later and we went to my house. We talked for a couple of hours, then he left to spend the night at a friend's because my parents had a problem with him sleeping on the sofa. It's ridiculous, really. They're afraid "something" will happen between Tobi and me, but for one, I'd never sleep with Tobi, and moreover, it's none of their business. It was the same thing today, we wanted to go clubbing tonight, which meant Tobi would have slept at our house tonight because he lives very far in the country, and the last train to where he lives would have left here at 7pm. I asked my mom if it was ok, and she said yes, but my dad was against it. I don't know why he had a problem with it or so, but it made me really mad. Tobi is my best friend, and I want my dad to accept him as a part of my life.
I'll need to have a talk with my parents real soon about certain things anyway, so I'll bring that up then as well. I've never given my parents reason to not trust me, and that's why I want to have the freedom other 18 year olds have. I mean, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't have sex with every other guy. Maybe they'll get my point and see that I deserve much more freedom.

Anyway, yesterday after school, we went to Tobi's house. It was the sixth time in my life I went somewhere by train, hehe. I stayed there all afternoon but had to get the last train that left the station there at 7.30pm. I had to get the bus to the station at 7pm to get the train. Complicated. At 8.30pm I was home then, soaked to the bones. When Tobi and I left his house, it was raining terribly, and we still had to wait 5 minutes in the pouring rain for the bus, well, I had to, and he waited with me. I don't remember what we were talking about, but one moment he suddenly hugged me. It's nothing unnormal, we hug each other whenever we meet and when we say goodbye. But the hug yesterday was different, it meant that he's there for me anytime. I don't know how long we were standing there in the rain, hugging each other,but it felt like quite a while. Tobi's hugs are still the very best, heh.

I got my results of the tests we had in Economy, Social Studies and Child Education back. Economy and Social Studies were both just fine, but in Child Education my result isn't as good as I thought it'd be. It's not bad, but it's not as good as expected..and I don't understand it. I did a really good job on it. However. I got an A for my presentation about John Lennon yesterday. I was quite nervous but it turned out alright, to my surprise I dealt with the nervosity much better than before. My teacher said he'd liked the presentation a lot, and even asked if he could have the papers I had to prepare it. Very cool.
The German exam today went ok. I'd never practiced the kind of essay we had to write before because I didn't find it necessary, and I was proved right. We had 90 minuted for it, and I was finished after 50 minutes. We'll see how it turns out, but I have a good feeling about it.

Today during my Chemistry class, my cell phone rang. I thought I'd turned off the sound, but I obviously hadn't. I switched the cell phone off as fast as I could because I didn't want my teacher to take it away, and unfortunately, I didn't see who was calling. I still don't know who called me because actually, everyone knows I'm at school from 8am on. I asked pretty much everyone who could have called, but I still don't know. My last idea is that it was Manu, who was at work and forgot that I was having classes. We're going grocery shopping tomorrow, I hope I'll see him so that I can ask him about it. He must think I'm really rude for just switching off the cell phone, if it was him anyway. But we'll see.

It's been snowing since yesterday, and it's cold enough so that the snow doesn't melt. This week they decorated the whole town with Christmas lights, and next week our big Christmas market will be opened. With the snow and the lights and everything, it gets obvious that it's slowly getting more and more Christmassy. I like the whole atmosphere that comes with it. I haven't bought any presents yet, but I might start at least thinking about them this weekend.;)

Ris has a beautiful new layout up, you should go visit her. Sharon left very nice comments in my guestbook, thank you!!:)

It's not really late yet, 11pm. I'm going to bed rather soon though, I haven't had much sleep this week and I'm tired. I hope everyone in America had a nice Thanksgiving!!

I spent the whole day yesterday at Armin's house. Tobi had asked me what I'd planned for the afternoon, and when I said nothing, he suggested we go over to Armin's. He was home because it was his day off from work. It was a really nice afternoon, Armin's ex girlfriend came to visit when it was almost 4pm too. I knew her already from a previous visit, her name is Jennie and she's 15 years old. Quite pretty if I may say that, but she has absolutely nothing inside her head. She wanted Armin back and obviously thought she had a chance. However, Tobi has a tendency to make fun of people who just annoy him, and Jennie is one of them. He didn't do it in a very obvious way so most of the time, she didn't get it. When it was getting dark, Armin and I went shopping for something to eat and beverages, and Jennie and Tobi stayed at Armin`s house. Later Toni told me Jennie had tried so hard to convince him to tell Armin to go back to her and whatnot. Good thing she didn't hear the conversation Armin and I had. Anyway, I stayed till 10.30pm, and took a taxi home. I enjoy such afternoons with Armin and Tobi, they are smart and have an extremely good sense of humor. And pretty similar attitudes towards things like me.

I slept almost 7 hours tonight, but I was so terribly tired this morning. I had really difficulties getting out of bed, it felt like if someone had woken me up an hour after I'd fallen asleep. I met my brother on the way to the bathroom, and all he said was 'good morning, you walk like if you were drunk'. Didn't make the day start any better either.
But all in all, it turned out alright. We had a test in Child Education, which first surprised me, but I think I did very well. The first part was only revision of the previous lesson on Monday, the second part was all about our experiences at an institution where children are educated (especially . kindergarten, school). We had to find examples for the cultural, natural, economic and social reasons that influence the child and how education is supposed to react on them, what went wrong, and what there is to do to fix what went wrong. Being an intern at a Waldorf kindergarten, I had to get very involved with Waldorf Education and with that, finding good examples and explaining them properly was not much of a problem. I did really really good, and I'm curious about the result. We'll get it on Thursday.
The stupid thing was that people like Rado who do not intern at a kindergarten or a school, but at a rehab hospital or so, have a whole lot of more thinking to do to find proper examples and to explain them. Yet, I guess it was ok.

Tobi gave his presentation about the Doors today, he did a good job on it. On Thursday it's my turn, mine will be about John Lennon. Most of it is finished already, I just need to find some pictures to use and print them out, and handwrite my notes. I only have them on the computer right now, and I read my handwriting much better than 'computer letters'. I feel more comfortable reading my own handwriting. Basically, I don't think that there's a lot of work left to do on it. There's no school tomorrow, so if I find another thing that I need to add or fix, I can still do it tomorrow.

December 21st will be a project day in school, and all students are supposed to take part in it in some way. Our Music teacher had the idea to make a juggle performance or something, and asked who could juggle. Oh lucky me. Now Daniela and I are supposed to do a 10 minute juggling performance. Juggling is not really difficult to learn but everyone's too lazy. I'm pretty sure someone will make sure that really all students do something for the project day, so at least I'll be able to do something I picked myself, and something that's actually fun.
I haven't juggled for two or three years at least, and since I'd dropped the extra class that consisted of artistic gymnastics, juggling with different things, playing the Diabolo and things like that, I've not done it as hobby anymore either. Which is a pity because it always was a lot of fun. I'm planning to get a bit more active with it again. I can still juggle with two and three balls, and with two balls in my right hand. If I could do it with two balls in the left hand too, I could do 4 balls too, with some practice. I really want to learn some tricks too, there are countless special things you can do with three balls that look really good, but require some practice. However, I'm willing to spend a lot of time on it. Maybe we'll find someone to play the Diabolo as well, that'd be just great.

My dreams have been weird lately. Sometimes I wake up and remember exactly the few moments of the dream before I woke up, and I just want to tun around and fall asleep again because the dream was so wonderful. I usually never wake up at night and also sleep very well, but the past few weeks I've woken up often at night and it took a while till I'd fall asleep again. And I remember big parts of my dreams the next morning, which is rather not normal too.
Two nights ago, I dreamt my brother was sent to Afghanistan, in the army, and I woke up crying. It's totally weird because my brother's 17 years old, so there's no way he'd have anything to do with the war. But I'd never woken up crying before. Oh well.

Manu sent my a sms today, if I wanted to meet up with him tonight and smoke something. I found it very nice of him because this time it was him who mailed me first. I said no though, I am too tired and basically just couldn't handle smoking something tonight. Sooner or later, yes, but not today. I might see him at the grocery store on Friday, hopefully. I already found it very nice that Manu thought of me today and sent me that sms.

Emily has a very beautiful personal domain, paperwingedgirl.net. She seems like a nice and interesting person!! And Ashley's site is very pretty too, go visit!!;)

I'm tired. I don't know, it's a kinda weird feeling I have.

I'm totally pissed at my parents. Three weeks ago they started advertising on tv that City of Angels would be on November 18th. I've been looking forward to seeing it ever since I saw the advertisement for it the first time. I asked my parents yesterday if I could see it, and I asked again this afternoon, and they said yes. Then, at 8pm, the movie started at 8.15pm, my mom tells me that my dad wants to watch some stupid series that is on every Sunday. I was really mad because it was just not fair, but they didn't apologize or ask me if it was ok or anything. They totally went over me. The best thing is that my mom is convinced that it's not her fault, and that I'm the one who's acting wrong. It's ridiculous, she's always like that, no matter when there are arguments, it's never her fault because she expects others to know that she always wants only the best. Which may be true, but though, she needs to be careful and not only say that others are wrong, when it's actually herself. When I'm in the wrong, I know it, and when something's my fault, I accept it too. Man, not fair at all.

I still have to study Chemistry a bit, and I'm supposed to do Math and German homework. Both isn't mandatory, so I'll just look at Chemistry. I need to improve my grade, sine I screwed up the last test extremely. We haven't gotten the results of it yet, but I know I knew nothing. I guess we'll get them tomorrow, oh well. If I get an A in the next test, it'll be all ok. So I hope my teacher will ask me about the previous lesson, and if I'm lucky, I'll get the A I need. The topic was easy, and I doubt that there'll be much of a problem.
I'll have a German exam on Thursday, it'll be ok. German has never been a problem for me. And in two weeks, I'll have exams in Math and Chemistry. In December there are so many exams, it's not even funny anymore. My Psychology exam must be sometime in December too, but I don't know yet on which day it'll be.

My mom says until Wednesday this week I have to know what I want for Christmas, haha. I have Wednesday off, so I'll probably go into town and look. I already know that I want a dark violet sweat jacket, a USA calendar, a few books, a few CD's.. But that's about it. Christmas is my birthday as well, so I have to think of twice as much presents, hehe. But I'm sure I'll find something.;)

I might call Manuel this week. I saw him at the grocery store on Friday, but he was either drunk or high, so there was no way I'd have had a normal conversation with him. Somehow I'm pretty positive about what might eventually work out between the two of us. I don't really know, I have some thinking to do about that topic..

I put up a new layout at beneathmywings.org, only a temporary one though. And there's a new layout at Inner Silence.
Translucence is an amazing personal site, worth the visit!!:) And go visit Ermina, she updated her journal, yay. I love her site and her writing, and she's a good friend as well!!

Why do they have to play Ride Wit me now. They have a tendency to play the best songs at the worst times. When I'm thinking about memories they're sure to play songs that remind me even more of things that I wish hadn't changed. I listened to ride Wit Me when I was in California, with Ryan in his truck. That was April this year, I miss all the people there.. When I came home, I'd listen to rap all the time because that was what I'd gotten used to in California, that was what was playing when I had 2 of the best weeks in my life, and that was what reminded me of the time there. I miss it a whole lot. When I came home, I'd gotten a totally new attitude towards life, I took things easier and I felt so good about my life and myself. It was just amazing, I loved my life. What I hadn't reckoned on was that I wouldn't be able to keep that attitude back in my regular life. I wanted to, and I tried hard, but things were just so different to what they were like in California. I loved that life style, but I guess there was just no chance I could have stuck to it, no matter how much it meant to me, and how much I loved it. Not with my regular life crashing down over me again, and without the support I'd have needed to keep it. But oh well.

I watched Marvin's Room tonight, wonderful movie. I saw it for the first time three or four years ago, when that Titanic hype was going on. They'd brought it back into German theaters to make money with it, once again, since Leonardo DiCaprio is in it. Back then, I didn't understand the end at all, and I complained about what a bad movie it'd been. It's a very abrupt ending and I suppose I didn't get the background. I watched it again tonight because I wanted to see if it really was that bad, and it turned out to be a very well made movie. The story is very good, so are the actors. Meryl Streep, Diane Keaton, Leonardo DiCaprio in an interesting role, he did a good job (I admit it). It's a movie definitely worth seeing.

I finally want my sound card back from my brother. I have mp3's on my computer that I really want to listen to, but no, he actually sold mine when I wasn't home and he needed money. It's not the first time that happens, and he keeps saying I'll get his. I always forget about it though, and when I want it then, he's busy with something else and I have to wait again, and I forget it.*sigh* I'm getting old eh? It's my fault, partly. I won't go that far and say that he forgets about it too, but knowingly. He's not like that. So I'm banned to listening to Loona on the radio, oh lucky lucky me.

Ris has an absolutely amazing new layout up at thalea.org, this looks so incredibly beautiful!! Must be my favorite layout by Ris so far, wow.. You're amazing hon!!:)
Quiet or loud is an outstanding personal site, really nice.
My counter hasn't been counting any hits since yesterday night 8pm. Weird..

I have a headache and I'm so terribly tired. But that's what you get for drinking the night before. I was in the process of putting up a new layout up at the domain, and actually blog again later at night.
But Tobi called me around 4pm that he was in town and if we'd meet. No way I'd have said no, so I picked him up at the tram station and we went to my house. We stayed for a couple of hours and went to Armin's around 8pm. Which was an extremely good idea because not long after us, Armin's friend David came. He's a funny guy, not really too intelligent, but somehow, cute. And so good looking, wow. I haven't often met a guy that looks so good and actually looked a sif he was completely being himself. He was fun. Anyway, my dad said I should make sure to take the tram at 10pm so that he'd still pick me up; 9.50pm I called him I'd take a taxi later since I still wanted to stay. The bad thing was, at that time, he was waiting at the station already. Not good. He was rather mad on the phone, but had calmed down when I came home. I did have a lot of fun, and that's the important thing I guess. I apologized for having called not earlier, and my dad said it was ok. Good.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 5.30am, meaning I still had 45 minutes left to sleep before I had to get up. So, like on Tuesday, I started thinking about skipping the day, and I did. I should have done that project this week, and since I can't do it on a single day, today, I'm staying at home today as well. This week and the whole I'll-stay-two-days-at-home thing kinda sucks because I always miss the point when I need to push myself to get up and really go to work. Now I know it, I doubt it'll happen again. I'll go to the doctor later and tell her that I'm not doing any better since Tuesday, and she actually has to write me an excuse then. I wouldn't be so keen on an excuse if I shouldn't have done that stupid project. I'll just do it next week, and since I hav an excuse signed by a doctor, there's no way I could get into trouble.
Today I look ill anyway, so it shouldn't be too difficult to convince my doctor that I am, haha. I have a headache that isn't funny anymore. And I had to get up at the normal time I get up every day, 6.15am, so that my dad won't know I'm staying at home. My mom knows because I don't want to lie to her, but for my dad it's better that he doesn't know about it.

My mom and I will go grocery shopping this afternoon. I know Manu works till 5pm, so I'll check if I see him somewhere. Hope so. I remember a Saturday morning in May, I'd started working at 7am, had had to get up at 5am, and was so tired. I must have looked like it too, and I was far from being motivated about work, knowing I was almost falling asleep and had to work till 4pm that day. At that time, Manu worked in the department next to mine. I hadn't seen him start working, and when it was 8.30am, I finally saw him. He'd overslept because he'd smoked too much, and he looked like it. He sad I looked rather tired too, and when I said ironically thank you, he said that my eyes still sparkled very brightly. I couldn't help laughing, it was a compliment of course, but such a corny one. Yet, I could it incredibly sweet. We'll see if he tells me this afternoon again that I look tired, hehe.

Oooh it was Denise's birthday yesterday!! Happy birthday sweetie!!:)
Grace has a beautiful new layout up, she's amazing with graphics!! And she left me really sweet comments too!! She thought of me when she was drinking Bacardi Breezer, hehe. It's an inside joke, somehow, one that made me smile when I heard it again.
Lauren is new at acrossthesky.org, welcome!!:) I know I've been to her site at icekandy.net just recently. Lauren's site is really pretty, so you might want to go visit her.
Jermine's site is absolutely beautiful!! I remember her site when it was still on a free server, glad she found such a nice new home! And Spark is an amazing site, wow, I love ocean themes.

It's 8am now, cool. I need to call my doctor for an appointment. And as soon as the woman who cleans our house once a week (on Friday, oh lucky me) is gone again, I'll go back to bed. But no, I won't complain about the headache anymore. That's just the consequence I have to take for last night, haha.

This is unbelievable. Manu, a guy I had a terrible crush on a couple of months ago just called me. He worked with me at the grocery store, and we exchanged cell numbers a couple of times and wanted to meet but it never worked out. On Saturday, I met him at work when I was shopping there with my mom, and he asked me why I hadn't called him. I'd been too shy to call him, somehow, but I replied why he hadn't called me either. Manu said he didn't have my number since he'd got a new cell. His boss was coming around the corner that moment, so I said I'd all him or send him an sms so that he has my number. That's what I did half an hour ago, send him an sms. He called me on my cell phone but the connection was too bad and was disconnected, so he sent me an sms a few minutes later. Manu said he was currently in a town maybe three car hours from here, on a workshop, and how I was doing, and that it was nice of me that I'd written him. Ha! It's been a while since I had a crush on him, but though, I was really nervous and my hands trembled. I mailed him back what was going on here, and if he'd be away all week. I'm still waiting for his reply. We'll see what happens, and when he'll be back. Oh man.

I stayed at home from work today. I woke up a bit earlier today than I'd had to get up, and I pondered if I should go to work or not. Something told me that I'd end up at work anyway, since I'd be too ambitious about the grade I'll get in the end to skip a day. Another thing told me that I should just go ahead and stay at home because I was not their slave, I deserved it, and I'd never missed a day of internship before. I felt not too good, I was very tired, had a headache, basically, just felt bad. Not that that would have been a reason to stay at home but well, I got up, asked my mom if she'd call the kindergarten that I wouldn't come in today, and went to bed again. My brother stayed at home from school too, hehe.
I got up again at 10am, made a doctor appointment for 4.30pm (the one at 11.15am was way too early), and spend the day until then watching tv and on the computer. And did the few chores my mom had told me to do. I actually bad difficulties figuring out what I should tell the doctor so that I get an excuse for as many days as possible, haha. Feeling sick, headache, bad coughing always do it. I have an excuse for tomorrow only though, but we'll see if I'll go Thursday or not. I really don't want to. Tobi is still 'sick' too; he had the flu this weekend and didn't go to work yesterday and today, and he won't go tomorrow either. That's a good moral for work now, isn't it?;)
I'm about to develop a negative attitude towards work and I'm about to get the old 'who cares' attitude again. Not good. It's kinda depressing, and getting depressive again is pretty much the last thing I want and need right now.

The ATS Boards are up now, and they look great! Candice did a really good job on it!!:)

Work at the kindergarten turned out pretty good today. It was St. Martin's Day, and in the afternoon when it was getting dark, at 5pm, all the parents and their kids met at the kindergarten and we took a walk with the lanterns they'd made a couple of weeks ago. They were made out of orange paper, had four corners, and 4 windows. The windows were made out of transparent paper and were decorated with dried leaves in different shapes. They shined very nice and looked cheerful and very pretty, the walk reminded me of the times when I was little and my parents, my brother and I would go on a St Martin's Day walk with the kindergarten, or elementary school later. It was fun for me, and the kids had a good time too. They all had their parents with them, so I didn't have to watch them as intensively as I usually have to. The bad thing about that was that when they did something stupid or were not careful with their lanterns, and their parents didn't tell them off, I couldn't either. There's no way I could tell a kid off whose parent is standing next to them.
All in all, it was an ok day. I really didn't want to go to work this morning, and I was very frustrated till noon, but then it got better. I'm considering calling in sick tomorrow and Wednesday, which I'm rather serious about. I'd go to the doctor tomorrow, complain about my bad flu, and I'd get an excuse signed by her for two or three days. It's not much of a problem, and I'd deserve two days off. I work so many extra hours anyway. 40 hours a week normally make a normal job, and I do the same work the kindergarten teachers do, and I'm not paid anything, so well, I guess two days off would be ok. I've never called in sick before since I started working there, which makes it even better.;) But we'll see, chances are I'll go to work tomorrow, you never know when and if at al I'll start feeling bad about not going, hehe.

Right after the walk with the lanterns, when everyone was still outside in the garden drinking hot tea, my cell phone rang. The volume was very low and I almost didn't hear it. It was Tobi who was at Armin's house, and he asked me if I wanted to come over. I told him I was still at work and didn't know when I'd get off, and that I wouldn't make it tonight. It was a pity because I really wanted to go, but there's no use in going there after work and after I visit my grandma - I'd have been at Armin's not much earlier than 9pm, and that would have been too late because I couldn't have stayed longer than 10.30pm, 11pm at the latest. And with more tomorrow (maybe), I couldn't even have drunken anything, and that would have been rather difficult. But I'd really have wanted to go. It's cool that Tobi asked me to come over! He'd sent me a sms at 4.30pm or so, and when I didn't reply to it (I hadn't checked my sms until Tobi called me), he called me at 6pm.
He has the flu and didn't go to work today, and as far as I know he won't tomorrow and maybe on Wednesday either.
I actually know what I'll do as project; I'll make coins for the 'super market' in our kindergarten group out of branches of a tree. They need to be thick enough and round enough, we'll cut little pieces off, make the surface of them softer and the edges rounder, and eventually carve pictures into them. Sounds nice doesn't it? I like the idea, it sure sounds like fun.

When I was really frustrated this morning, as mentioned earlier, I remembered back last year, when I was in major depression, how I cut my arms to let out the feelings I had inside and that I was unable to express otherwise. I thought about how scars were the only things that could forever remind you of the past and let the past be a part of you anytime. You can change totally, your looks of course anyway, but also your personality when you work on yourself long enough and when you do it knowingly. Scars will always be there, no matter what you do. So, maybe when you share with someone what your scars are from, you share a part of your past with them that is very private because it belongs to your past, a past that is not obvious anymore today.
No one knows what the scars on my arms are from. When I'm asked, I tell them our cat scratched me. When I was in the US this year, I wore a 3/4 sleeved shirt for the very first time in a long long time, my arms were rather pale, and you could see the scars just perfectly. When Connie, a fellow exchange student, saw them, she went 'Oh my God, did you try to commit suicide?'. I said no, because well, why would I cut my arms if I wanted to kill myself? She'd probably have found it much weirder to hear that I hurt myself on purpose than to hear that I'd tried to commit suicide. The cat did it. It was also in California where I got the first sunburn on my arms since I'd started cutting - before that, I'd always covered my arms. Well, the scars faded with the sunburn, which surprised me. But they're still there, and I often hesitate when I want to put on a 3/4 sleeved shirt, or a shirt with short sleeves in general. And you'll hardly ever see me wearing a short sleeved shirt, even when the scars have faded. I guess knowing that they're there is enough.

I love all those who leave me comments.;) Jen has a new layout up and she just rocks because we both fail a class, and because she waves little 'Chrissi' flags.:) Ermina is a sweetie, and even a sweetie with a beautiful website. I hadn't heard from Karla in a long time, glad to see you again!!*waves*
And you can always count on Shae to leave comments, you're amazing!!:)
Hmm..the wonderful Mae plugged me. It makes me feel really weird (in a positive way) to see along with what beautiful sites mine is mentioned sometimes.*sigh* Look at Amy!!

I worked all day on the new layout, and I do like how it turned out. I was afraid it was too simple and it took me long till I decided that I'd out it up though. I think it looks pretty with the MS Trebuchet and the colors. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!! I happen to have a guestbook.;)
There still are some minor things that need to be fixed, but all in all, everything works.:)

Tomorrow till Friday I'll work at the kindergarten again. On Monday I have to work till at least 7pm because it's St. Martin's, and when it's dark, we'll take a walk with the kids with their lanterns. The parents will come along too, but they won't walk with their kids. I can imagine the joy of having to take care of kids that have trouble holding their lanterns, and that even when it's dark. I have to start working at 7.45am, and if I'm unlucky, I'll have a 12 hour day tomorrow. I'm really not looking forward to it. I mean, classmates work 3 hours a day, I was unlucky enough to pick a place for internship with such long working hours.
Moreover, next week I have to do that project for my next report for school. Last week I asked my boss about it and what I could do as a project, and she just said that she didn't know. Now that sure helped me. She didn't lose a word about it anymore, which I did find stupid of her, because I mean, how should I have known what I could do as a project? I have no clue what they have planned or something and after all, she's my boss and should help me with the idea for it. But oh well, I'll ask her again tomorrow. I have some ideas which I'll tell her about, and we'll see what I'll do then as project. I have absolutely no clue how that project will turn out, but I really really want it to be ok. I don't want my final grade to be screwed up because of it. Oh well.

I wish I had school next week. I had three tests on Friday, I screwed up Chemistry and Social Studies, Economy was pretty good though. I know I failed Chemistry, and that got me down quite a bit. It reminded me of the previous years in school because I've never been good at Chemistry, and what my bad Chemistry grades also caused. Though, it's not the only test I'll have this year, and I'll just do better in the next. Social Studies won't be a problem either. I'm not willing to let one grade ruin the positive attitude I have towards school now, I don't want to fall back into old habits.