Hi, its been awhile. Bree called me last nite. She kinda inspired and reminded me that I kept a secret journal of my own. She is a true writer. My journals are not like hers. I don't write like I'm publishing, but she does.
Anyway, the main reason I'm back is b/c I have a couple of things to jot down. Two nites ago, Tuesday, was the first nite that Mario and I actually stayed on the fone and talked for 4 hrs since we broke up. Well, an hr of it was spent on the fone with Antonio. That's ok. I mention this b/c Mario and I have been sorta fading lately. Our "relationship", if I'm allowed to still call it that, that is. To me Mario is still very important.
Something Antonio said last nite that really hit me tho. He said that I'm "blinded by love". That hit me so hard! I never realized it. He's right. I am. I never thought I would be, but I guess everyone has flaws in one thing or another. It does bother me that I am still so stuck to him. Thank god Bree called last nite or I would not have been able to sleep wondering why Mario didn't call.
To top things off, recently I met a guy name Caesar. He's 22, going on 23 next month. I met him last week in person. We had a good time. At least I thought so. After that day, things have changed a lot. He use to call every other day and always had time for me. No more. I call him and he's too busy. He doesn't call me back. I did it, again. That's usually what happens after I give in on sex, any form of sex. Things go wrong. That's why last nite I told Bree not to go that route. Its not fun. Men are so selfish, uncaring.
Going back to Mario. When I did that so called "b/f, g/f" quiz with him that nite, he had mentioned that he thought of me when thinking of the opposite sex. I was very happy to "hear it", as usual. But something inside me tells me that it was not true. He only said it to make me feel better. Sometimes I really wish he would tell the truth. But then would I realize it is...
Now back to Bree. I really enjoy talking to her. She's a fun girl. She reminds me of a more savvy Kat. Her and Kat are similar in certain things, the artistic portion. But she is definitely different. I like her attitude more than Kat's. She's not as "dominant" as Kat is. Funny thing is, she's pretty open abt sex. Certain things she said last nite made me really think. Maybe its almost time... just maybe...
(11:31AM)