Newcomer, Ch. 7

Gil pulled the Tahoe into a skidding stop. He practically jumped from the vehicle, barely remembering to grab his kit on the way out.

�What have we got?� Brass was relieved when he heard the familiar voice. Finally, someone with a cool head. He turned with a soft smile, and barely recognized what he saw. His old friend, and former rival for power in the Crime Lab, coming toward him at a hefty pace, his bad knees barely handling the speed. The look on his face troubled Jim quite a bit, but he seemed just within the boundaries of control that Jim dismissed it. For now.

�Man and woman in a Cadillac going about 70 through a 45 curve, blind turn, semi never saw them coming.� Brass gave his usually gruesome, no-nonsense analysis without his usual sarcasm. Something was definitely wrong with this picture. Gil was just opening his mouth when a thought came to him. Wait. Only two passengers?

�Just a man and a woman? No other passengers?�

�Nope.� Relief threatened to flood him, but he kept it at bay until the last.

�You�re sure?� Again with that really disturbing feeling that something about Gil was not right. Jim sighed deeply, not ready to deal with this so early in the morning.

�Please tell me I have only one CSI freaking out instead of two?� Oh, right. Ecklie had asked for him personally. That meant this was more sensitive than he was willing to deal with scientifically. He wanted to be on the PR end of things, which meant either the Sheriff or Under Sheriff was involved somehow. And Jesse and Sara weren�t. Breathe�

�Was the truck driver injured?� They began moving in the direction of the actual scene, Jim finally feeling better about this whole thing.

�Not yet, but if he gets within twenty feet of Ecklie, that might change.� Gil looked up a moment at that, and Brass could only smile. �Ecklie�s freaking out more than a little. He said you had to handle this because he was too involved.�

�Ecklie turning down a case. I shudder to think.�

�Yeah, well, I�m just glad it isn�t me. He�s tossed his cookies at least twice since I got here.� They walked a moment in silence, but just before crossing the yellow tape, Brass took Gil gently by the arm, his face awash in unmasked concern.

�Hey, you sure you�re all right? I don�t think I�ve ever seen you roll up on a case like this before.�

�And you won�t again, if I can help it.�

Gil approached what was left of the Cadillac, at least somewhat relieved that he�d been wrong. The sun beat down hard as he walked, the soles of his shoes sticking to the lightly melting asphalt. The car looked like a soup can opened the hard way. The hood was completely caved in, and the roof was half peeled away, half flattened well past the bottom line of the windows. All four tires were blown, and rubber mixed with glass littered the roadway from one side to the other. Glitter and dull black. Something like metal and yet not glinted in the sunlight just at the passenger window. Almost like� Gil quickened his pace, the sight of that one shining object catching his attention in a far too familiar way.

He came to the passenger door, where what he could barely identify as an arm dangled from between the door and the roof, crushed. Crushed, but for the hand. Though bloody, it was as pristine as it had ever been. As the last time Gil had seen it. Emerald and amber in gold didn�t dull in blood, he noted with deepening sickness. Marcella, or at least part of her. Jesse. I have to tell her that her mother�

Acid pooled in his throat, and it was all Gil could manage to get far enough away from the crime scene to preserve both it and his dignity. The tumbleweed wasn�t so lucky. Again and again his insides heaved, bringing him to his knees as everything he�d eaten that wasn�t yet dealt with spread across the area, and in its place, only dread remained�

Suddenly something was happening. Gil looked up from his crouch to see Nick pulling him gently to his feet. A handkerchief came out of nowhere and was gently pressed to his mouth as Nick held him steady.

�Grissom! What the hell happened?� Gil looked into those beautiful tawny eyes, and for a moment Gil forgot where he was, forgot the sun, and forgot the acrid smell of burnt rubber and coppery blood. All he could see was Nicky, all he could smell was his shampoo, and sweat, and something so fine it could only be�

�Jesse.�

Nick could have sworn his stomach was trying to become one with the sand.

�What?� Gil shook his head slightly, clearing his thoughts as well as his throat.

�It�s her. It�s�� He was suddenly on his feet, and Nick was an uncomfortable arm�s length away. Just within reach, but those eyes spoke of a distance he could not hope to span just then. He refocused, switching back to the professional. It took a great deal more effort than usual. �The victim. It�s Jesse�s mother.�

�You knew her?�

�Barely, but I�m more worried about�� Damn it. What if Sara hadn�t found Jesse yet? She wasn�t here, so where the hell could she be? He reflexively reached for his phone�which he�d thrown into the console of the Tahoe in his haste to get on site. He�d never picked it back up, even after moving it out of the way to retrieve his ID badge. He looked back to Nick, who was loading a digital camera with a new memory card. �Can I use your phone, Nick? Mine�s in the truck.�

�Your truck? That�s not like you.�

�I�m getting a lot of that today.� Nick tossed him the phone, and he flipped through the phonebook quickly to retrieve Sara�s cell number. He should have it memorized, but he filed that away to do another day as it began ringing.

�Sidle.�

�Sara, it�s Grissom. Don�t speak, just listen to me very carefully�� Nick listened off-handedly as he began taking the crime scene photos. The details relayed over the phone were clipped and quick, something Nick knew meant Grissom was more than a little upset. He wasn�t sure if it meant he should expect Sara to be here in the next five minutes in a major state, or if the two of them had something going on. Goodness knows she wouldn�t have minded that. Nick bit his tongue to keep from fuming too badly. Some chicks have all the luck.

�Oh my God�� Sara sounded almost fearful, and Gil knew well what she was about to do would be difficult for anyone, let alone someone as emotional unprepared as Sara could be.

�Is Jesse with you? Yes or no only, please.� There was a pause, one that Gil hoped meant something bad had not just happened.

�Yes.� Whew. Ok, now the hard part.

�Ok. Tell her what�s happening, gently. If you don�t think you can do that, please say so now.� A sigh, one he wasn�t sure was Sara�s. He closed his eyes a moment, steeling himself to ask later the questions that were breeding inside his head. One thing at a time. One thing at a time�

�I can.�

�Ok, do it. But Sara, please be careful.�

�I will.� The phone clicked off, ending the call. The camera flash was the only sound aside from the wind that came to Gil�s ears as he stared across the road to take in the piles of metallic carnage. All that remained of a life he knew nothing about yet wanted to in the name of morbid fascination. Anything to help him �better understand the criminal mind.� Not to mention that he really didn�t mind seeing the mangled remains of that demon bitch. Gil shook his head. He hadn�t thought himself capable of such thinking anymore. What a difference one soul can make. Speaking of which�

�Nick?� Though Nick looked up at the sound of his name, he didn�t bother boring Gil with the details of his findings. He really wasn�t surprised when Gil didn�t ask.

�Over here.� Doing my job, which is more than I can say for you.

�Thank you for doing that.� Nick could almost pinpoint the second that Grissom shifted out of the personal and back to the professional. It was as efficient as everything else Nick had seen the man do on the job.

�Sure.�

�All right, let�s get this wrapped up. We need to get this stuff back to the lab, and I need to give this to Jesse.� Nick absently looked down at Gil�s hand, and almost joined him in losing his last meal. Was that a ring?

�Why?� It came out before he could think, but thankfully Gil didn�t notice.

�It was her mother�s. She doesn�t have to identify the body, thank goodness, but I think she�ll at least want this.� Relief washed over him in droves. Ok, he could handle this. He had to, this was just part of the job from now on.

�Oh. Ok.�

�You all right?� Nick looked up, the mask falling back into place with a smile.

�Yeah.� At the single raised eyebrow, Nick caved just enough to brush it all away. �Long story.�

�Come on. Let�s get this on the books and get us out of the sun.�

�Hey, nice patch job.� Jesse flexed her hand tentatively, feeling the butterflies stretch but hold. The bandages were just tight enough to keep everything in place, but wouldn�t affect her at work. A damn nice patch job.

�Should be. You taught me that, remember?� She smiled gently as she watched Sara put away her first aid kit. Sara had chided her at first about keeping such an extensive kit in the house, but after the first few uses, she didn�t mind so much any more.

�I did, didn�t I? I do good work, then.� The lid to the kit shut tight, and Sara latched it closed, pleased beyond words that Jesse still kept this kit so well supplied. She just wished she didn�t have to use it so damned often.

�Yeah, well, you always did.�

�Always?� Sara�s remark was going to be quite cynical, but just then her phone rang. Sara answered it, and Jesse decided to put away the kit to give her lover privacy. Lover. The thought of it still seemed foreign. She�d been alone for so, Jesse had thought that she might never find anyone she could trust so much again. Gil had indeed come close, but she�d known better. His heart was not hers for the taking. It belonged to another, and she wished them the best, if either one of them would actually remove their head from their rectum long enough to do something about it. Oh well. It wasn�t her place, especially considering recent events. Repression may not be very healthy, but it�s easy and it worked for a good long time.

�Jesse.� Well, seemed like repression wasn�t going to work this time, she thought as she heard her lover�s voice again. Jesse meandered back into the living room to find her guest still holding her phone, looking just this side of sick. �That was Grissom.�

�What�d he have to say?� Sara paled further, which was a feat considering her complexion. Not to mention the fact that nothing ever fazed Sara anyway. Not good. �Something�s happened, hasn�t it?�

�It�s�� She swallowed hard, and Jesse immediately led them both to the couch. Anything that got Sara this frazzled had to be hailing the apocalypse. �Grissom is with Ecklie. There was a car crash. Marcella��

A single muscle under Jesse�s left eye twitched as all color drained down her neck. Her normally vibrant emerald eyes turned a sickly pale green, her skin rolling over in waves of sour milk. She tried to speak, but it didn�t come out as much more than a gurgle. The whites of her eyes watered into puffy pink balls as her throat fought to produce more than a gasp. The shaking began slowly, starting at her hands, moving and multiplying into the rest of her body, until she was a single human earthquake. A single tear worked its way free as at last her throat figured out how to work again.

�Oh. My. God��

And then she was gone. Sara didn�t have to work hard to catch the suddenly limp figure before her. Jesse was still shaking even as Sara combed back her hair and moved just enough to swing her into her arms. This wasn�t a good place for her. She needed fluids, as well as a good once over by a Doctor. There was only once place that Sara knew of in all of Vegas that could accommodate, and it just might be the best place for Jesse to be just then. Sara leaned down and kissed the sweat dampened forehead as she made her way toward the door.

�That�s it, baby. Sleep now. It�s over.� It�s finally over�

Though they�d taken separate vehicles to the scene, Grissom followed closely behind Nick as they made their way back to the lab with the evidence. It was more a protocol than anything else, but since it was for Ecklie, Gil decided going through the motions for a day wouldn�t kill anyone. Besides, it was a thankfully slow day, paperwork not withstanding. Nick was also inside before Gil was even out of his truck. He didn�t understand Nick�s hurry considering the circumstances-

�Grissom!� Oh, Brother. Literally. Gil turned just in time to see a very disheveled Conrad Ecklie stalking toward him. The Iceman cometh.

�My office. Now.� Grissom groaned aloud. This he was not in the mood for, but he followed just the same, making sure the door was shut tight once safely inside Conrad�s office.

�So, what the story?� There was that tone again. The one that made Gil wonder why he didn�t take the supervisory position just to keep it out of Ecklie�s hands.

�Meaning?�

�This case. Where are we?� Ah yes. Because the entire night staff would have quit by now if Ecklie had his job.

�We�re nowhere. This was a simple accident. The truck driver-�

�Was obviously drunk and needs to be arrested for vehicular manslaughter! So what are you waiting?!� Ecklie sounded downright angry. If Gil didn�t know better he�d say the man actually gave a crap.

�Ecklie, we tested him. He was clean. It was a blind turn-�

�Not with how far he was off the ground! That truck put him ten feet in the air! Damn it, Gil, what the hell is wrong with you?!� Huh.

�Tell me, Ecklie. Why would you morn someone who tortured you for fun? I had no idea you were such a masochist.� To say that the color drained from Ecklie�s face would be untrue. That would imply that there was color to begin with. Conrad ran a stiff hand over the back of his neck, hissing slightly at the pain it caused.

�It�s a long story.�

�Thought so. Let me do my job, Ecklie. You�ll get the report when we�re finished.�

�Sure.� And it was all he could do not to jog out the door. He just wished he hadn�t looked back. Ecklie was slumped in his chair, head in his hands, and unless Gil�s eyes were playing tricks, he was shaking. Ummm� yeah. Memo to myself: send the office shrink to Ecklie when I see her.

Gil worked his way back to his office, watching intently for any signs that Sara had been back recently. He�d been trying Sara by cell for half an hour, and still nothing. Sure enough, he found her in a back exam room, hovering over a lab table. What the heck was she working on? Her case the night before had closed, or so he�d thought.

�Sara?� She looked up, almost stricken despite the forced smile.

�Hey, Grissom.� She didn�t move from her spot, and turned back toward whatever she was concentrating on. She made no mention of Jesse, which worried Gil quite a bit. He moved next to her, and felt his stomach fall away.

Tousled sunset curls lay strew across a thick white drop cloth over the hard metal table. A thick lab coat was folded under her head, another covering her. She was hooked up to an IV of what looked like simple saline. No wonder she hadn�t mentioned anything about her.

�Doc Robbins was here. He checked her out, and gave her the fluids.� She forced a smile again, this time more for her own sake than for his. �You didn�t think I�d hook something like this up, did you?�

�What the hell happened?� The cordial fa�ade dropped away, both of them knowing who had caused this change in their girl.

�It�s a long story.� Boy, was he tired of hearing that today.

�Then give me the Cliff�s Notes.�

�Look, it really isn�t my place-�

�Excuse me, Sara, but I�m a little tired of wading through bullshit today. Now start talking.� He hadn�t meant to be so harsh, but someone was giving him some answers today, damn it!

�I did what you asked. I told Jesse, she freaked out, she fainted, and I brought her here to rest.� Yeah, that much he could see. So what was she leaving out?

�Why here and not the hospital?�

�She hates hospitals. Waking up in one for her would be like waking up in hell.� Sounded like personal experience talking. Gil noticed suddenly the bandaging around Jesse�s hand. It looked homemade, but Doc Robbins had been here, so he would have checked it. If he hadn�t changed it, then it meant Sara�s work had been proper. And practiced. Definitely personal experience talking.

�Why is that?�

�Her stepfather. Her first stepfather.� Stepfather. Overbearing mother. Complete nervous collapse. It all allowed for only one conclusion. A conclusion that felt like molten lead in Gil�s stomach.

�She was abused, wasn�t she?�

�Oh, it�s far worse than that.�

�Tell me.� Sara bit her lip suddenly, something warring behind her eyes. He looked down at Jesse a moment, and swept a single strand of hair from her face.

�Please, Sara. She�s a subordinate, a victim and�a friend. I need to know.� He fought hard not to let it show, but after being up for almost two days and still recovering from being scared out of his mind twice in one day, he just didn�t have it in him to put up the smokescreen anymore.

�For the case?�

�Fuck the case right now.�

�Sit.� Her voice was strained, which kept Gil right where he was. A single hand landed on his arm, and he stared down at it, as if not sure what to do with it. �Trust me, you�re going to want sit down for this.� He leaned against the table edge as she played with a single limp curl.

�Jesse�s mother married Robert Bronte when she was about ten. They were married for about three years. About two and a half years into the marriage, Marcella and Robert started fighting. One night after Marcella had kicked him out of their bed, a very angry and frustrated Robert went into Jesse�s room and�� Her voice never broke. It simply trailed off into nothing, leaving the room as empty of sound as the widening hole forming in Gil�s stomach. It explained so much, but left too many questions unanswered. Gil held his tongue as Sara continued, and tried hard to listen over the pounding in his head.

�It lasted for several months, and Jesse still has most of the scars. He used to put out cigarettes on her skin, and he would hit her if she screamed. Needless to say, she was in the ER getting patched up a lot. Her mother used to pass it off as bullies and tree climbing.� Gil shook his head slowly. Typical, and to think some ER nurses still believed that crap. �When the bastard died of a heart attack, Jesse�s mother remarried right away, and Jesse always feared that this man would be the same.�

�Did her mother know about the abuse?�

�That�s the thing. Marcella knew all along.� Gil�s heart pounded once before stopping. One second. Two, before starting up again, balefully. He could still see that evil woman holding onto Jesse, and thinking that she�d looked like a jealous lover. No, not lover. Predator.

�When Jesse told her about it initially, Marcella told her she�d better not only stick it out, but she�d better be good at it or Marcella would drop Jesse in the nearest child bride whorehouse. She said the same thing again every time she remarried until Jesse left for college when she was 16.�

Sara tried hard not to break the hand within her grasp. She could still taste the tears Jesse had cried so many nights they�d spent together trying so hard to get her over this. She�d even thought they�d succeeded once or twice. But then Marcella had whirled into town like a pyroclastic cloud, bringing with her all the horrid memories and every ounce of pain. Jesse was always so strong until the evil bitch left, and then she would break, as gently as a sapling in a twister. Sara knew good and well that Marcella did it all on purpose. She wasn�t stupid. She knew the power she wielded over Jesse the same power she�d always had.

Not anymore. The words repeated in Sara�s mind like the mantra they were, steeling herself to the task she knew would keep her busy for quite a while but would finally be rewarded in the end. Jesse was free. The past be damned, they were free�

The anger bubbled just below the surface as Gil tried not to destroy the nearest things to him. So Jesse had gone almost her whole life looking over her shoulder, trying to outrun more than just her abuser, but the monster who�d forced one on her. Gil felt his knuckles crack as his grip on the table tightened.

Hands. Reaching out to shaking skin, uncaring. Touching, stroking, heedless to the tiny noises she made. Taking his pleasure, his fill, ignoring her pained cries. Leaving her discarded like some used up toy, left to rot in the only place she had right to call her own. Only to return when it suited him. When his wife would not have him, and his would-be child was ashamedly complacent�

�That�BITCH!� Sara didn�t even flinch at Gil�s outburst, knowing well that rage. She�d let it consume her once too, and she watched as all the emotions she was so familiar with washed over his face like a black tide. For once he was open, and for the first time it didn�t matter to her. Funny what a little redhead could do.

�Now you know why I freaked out earlier.�

�How could she?� Gil was only one step shy of knocking his head against a wall. Repression wasn�t going to work on this on, case or no case. Disassociation wasn�t even coming close. This was more than inhuman. It was sadistic. And to think he�d let Jesse go off with this woman! Sara was right. What the hell was wrong with him? �How could she?�

�Gil, Jesse made me promise I would never tell anyone. Please, don�t say anything.� He met her eyes at last, letting the mask fall back into place. This was not for anyone else�s eyes. He would see to this, but not here. Not so near to Jesse.

�I don�t know if I�ll ever understand people.� Gil reached into his pocket and retrieved the only piece of uncataloged evidence he�d ever taken from a crime scene. He took Sara�s rather clammy hand and placed the ring in it, gently closing her fingers over the precious band. She looked up at him quite puzzled, and he did not have to wonder why. Of course she wouldn�t understand. This was a woman who barely knew her own heart, let alone anyone else�s.

�Stay with her, Sara. Don�t you dare let her be alone.� She gave a tired smile and turned back to her charge.

�I won�t. Not this time.� With that he was gone, in dire need of a quiet place he knew of in a little used part of the lab: the sound booth.

Nick worked his way down the final report of the accident. He wished with every breath that he�d been out at the insane scene by himself, but he knew better. He�d come onto the scrap heap to the sound of horrid retching, and found Gil doubled over in a way Nick thought he would never see the man. He couldn�t have kept his feet from moving if he�d been wearing lead boots. He�d gone to the man he loved without thought or pretense, and brought him back to standing as best he could, trying so hard to ignore the feel of the sweet weight in his arms. He�d tamped down the temptation of those amazing lips with a handkerchief and the knowledge that the man would probably want a toothbrush after something that violently disgusting.

But then Gil had looked up at him with those blue eyes so clouded and full of something Nick couldn�t begin to understand. Something primal and raw and needy. And he�d said her name.

Nick tried hard not to delete the report in front of him just to spite her. Stupid interloping little bitch. Why�d she have to show up anyway? She�d barely been here a month and already the whole lab loved her. Gil was falling all over himself around her, Sara thought she was a god, and Warrick talked about her more than gambling or Catherine. Even Jim was talking about her, and Jim didn�t talk about anyone! Greg seemed to be the only holdout, treating her like any other tech, bless him. A smile touched at Nick�s lips at the thought of his young friend�s immunity to that siren�s charms. Good old Grego�

Gil paced the empty silence of the soundproof room. It had been a welcome addition to the facility after that rather embarrassing incident at the School For The Deaf. Now it was Gil�s private place to think, safe within the confines of his own mind. It helped more often than he cared to admit. As he had slowly lost his hearing, he�d feared being in such a state of near-perfect silence. Yet now, as he paced through the sharp depravation, he savored the lack of distraction, the seamless, chaos-free void.

Once erected, Grissom had forced each of his CSI�s to spend one half hour in the chamber without sound so they would have a better understanding of how it felt to be without hearing, and perhaps gain an insight into his ways of thinking. All had complained, save one. Nick.

He�d come out with a smile of his face, and a secret gleam in his eye that Gil had never understood. So many things about this young man vexed him terribly. So many looks left unanswered. So many sighs and gentle brush offs left without question. So many touches, soft and kind, given and received without thought or reason. Perhaps there had been no need of one at the time, but there was now.

Nick was angry, that much was obvious. He�d been more than simply distant; he�d been downright standoffish. Gil might expect belligerence from the passionate younger man, but this seemed almost� defeatist. As if he had given up on something, a notion he�d kept close to the heart, and now he was angry about his choice. Or was Gil simply imagining it all, seeking some kind of connection when there was none?

A thought that brought his mind squarely back to Jesse. His flowing stride skipped a bit as he mulled briskly over all that Sara had revealed about the young woman. The very thought of it! Her own mother selling her out as little more than a sexual plaything just to keep a husband! How could any woman do such a thing to any child, let alone a daughter! And to threaten her child with molestation if ever a husband of hers demanded it! This was one of the few times in his whole life Gil wished for the invention of a time machine. The image of another man�s hands brutalizing her body and mind for sheer pleasure made him ache�

But she�d survived. Not only survived, but lived on to help others, in her own way. Her mind obviously had not suffered too harshly, for hers was a brilliant, vibrant soul that had brought light for the first time in years to his life. Though that wasn�t quite true, was it? Again his thoughts slipped back to Nick, an interesting kaleidoscope pattern of the two faces interposing across his senses�

Gil shook himself free of the daydream, his focus doubled on the task at hand as his rhythm increased. It just didn�t add up. He kept getting such mixed signals from Jesse, and heaven knew Sara wasn�t about to tell him anything. She was in no state to, and after what she�d already told him over the course of the last twelve hours, he wasn�t about to ask her about her relationship to Jesse.

And Nick was straight, so that was definitely a dead end.

Which left only Jesse herself. What the hell was Sara to her anyway? What was he? The two girls had been roommates, lovers from years ago and obviously close in a way he couldn�t hope to be with anyone any time soon. Yet their relationship had seemed so strained ever since Jesse�s arrival. He�d barely seen them speak, let alone spend any real time together. Yet Sara would have run down the Pope to get to Jesse today. And Jesse had clung to her, even in the deepest sleep. Closer than sisters�

He had to know for certain. He wasn�t about to go out on a limb for this if he wasn�t sure. And there was only one way to know�

Gil emerged from the sound isolation chamber a man on a mission. One that would either lead him to his fantasy, or sentence him to the doom of his heart�

The report printed after a rather lengthy spell check. Nick filed it away in the folder as he was supposed to and hurried off to Gil�s office. Hopefully he wouldn�t be in and Nick could just drop it on his desk without being noticed.

As he passed through the main exam hallway, a wisp of something caught his eye. He looked to see a mass of familiar red curls spilling over the side of a metal exam table and Sara standing just to one side, looking just shy of dead.

�Hey, what happened?� He barely held the concern at bay as Sara�s usually knife sharp eyes rose to meet his, dull and barely focused. Gods above, when was the last time she slept?

�Jesse didn�t take the news of her mother real well. She�s resting.� Nick looked down at the table for the first time, and this time holding anything in failed. His previous thoughts of her seemed out of place against the huddled figure before him. She lay curled slightly to one side, her features so pale they seemed to glow in the harsh light of the single lit lamp. Her freckles became deep shadowed places that crawled across her skin, her delicate hand clasped tight in Sara�s. So nice to know she had so many friends, he thought bitterly.

�Yeah. Listen, I got the report finished. Much as I hate to say it, this one wasn�t hard.� Sara choked out a laugh, one that struck Nick down to the bone. She swept a lock of hair out of Jesse�s face with the care and ease of a sister. Or an old flame, perhaps... Nah! Nick tried not to bust out in giggles at the particular moment. This was Sara, after all. She couldn't hold a boyfriend if he came complete with handles and manual. A girlfriend? Yeah, right. And winged horses will fly out of my ass�

�Great. I�ll let Jesse know when she wakes up.� Sara wasn�t paying him much attention anymore.

�Thanks. You seen Grissom?�

�He was here a little bit ago to look in on Jesse. He didn�t look too good, and he was really wigged out about this whole thing. Knowing him, he�s buried in work somewhere to take his mind off it.� Well didn�t that just figure. Everyone on earth seemed to wig Gil out to the point of insanity, while all he got from the man was a would-be nursemaid trying to alleviate a guilty conscience.

�Yeah. Well, thanks, Sara.�

�Sure.� Nick beat a hasty exit, hoping once again to drop off his report without seeing Grissom. Well at least one good thing was coming out of this whole situation: Nick now knew where he stood. The same place he always had. Some things never change. Maybe they weren�t meant to.

Sara watched Nick all but bolt from the room, and wondered absently if Grissom knew he was so popular. Nick had always idolized him, that was never any big secret. She doubted it, though. Men like him rarely understood� She smiled as she straightened Jesse�s clothes for the third time in ten minutes. To listen to her, someone might think she knew something about-

�Sara?� The grip on her hand had changed, and she hadn�t even felt it. But the glow of those eyes could be seen from space. She watched as a dry, tired smile beamed up at her like a lone moonbeam.

�Hey, sweetheart. How do you feel?�

�Like I got hit with a truck.� Sara held her tongue, not daring to tell her.

�Can I get you anything?� The words were barely out of her mouth before she heard the medical tape rip from Jesse�s arm. She watched in horror and fascination as the IV tube was tossed to one side, and continued to marvel as Jesse sat up with only mild effort.

�Not really. I just want to go back to the DNA lab and get some work done-�

�Not a chance!� Though she couldn�t keep the laughter out of her voice, Sara�s hand still set firmly on her lover�s shoulder as she tried to stand. �You�re not going anywhere right now. There�s already someone taking your place-�

�You of all people know better than that, Sara. I do some of my best work under stress.�

�Still, I�ll stay with you; help out if I can.�

�I have a better idea. Is Comrade still here?� Comrade? Oh, this was either going to be very good, or very, very bad.

�Yeah, why?� And that did it. Behind the mossy colored eyes, beyond the grim puffs of shortened breath was that subterfuge grin. The one that promised every kind of misadventure under the sun, if given the right circumstances. And Sara was always up for one of these magical mystery trips.

�Well, I�ve been thinking, and I wanted to discuss something with you��

Gil walked with slow purpose as he made his way through the lab in search of Jesse. Of course, he�d begun in the exam room where he�d found less than nothing, but instead he found her in the lab, as if nothing had ever gone wrong. Which was more wrong than most things he�d seen today. He watched her a moment as she did the same things she would normally. The slight shaking of her hands troubled him, but he couldn�t blame her. Reliving any traumatic moment was difficult, but this wasn�t a normal circumstance by any stretch. Like anything around here could ever be normal.

�Hey. Feeling any better?� Jesse looked up at him with a very tired smile. She looked so much older, so worn. How he wanted to bring that life back to those eroded eyes.

�Much better, thank you.� He watched as she continued her work, mostly filling out report questionnaires and other paperwork. It was a distraction from reality he was very familiar with, and one he�d always loathed within himself. He�d sunken so deeply into his world before that it had taken weeks to bring himself back out, even just to see that there was nothing to hide from. Now he watched her do the same thing, and wondered just what she was thinking. About Sara. About him. About everything. One way to find out.

�I know this is going to seem forward, but would you object to seeing me in a less professional setting?� The pen she�d been using bounced twice on the counter before she reached to retrieve it, her fingers shaking.

�Grissom� I�m flattered. Truly, but I can�t.� Grissom? Since when did she call him anything but �Gil�? Well, time to sink or swim. Not that he knew how to swim.

�There�s no way I can convince you?� Her already ragged curls seemed to protest her touch as she pushed them over one ear, her face a haunting blank.

�You don�t need to convince me. I simply can�t do this. I�m sorry.� And there it was. Simple. Easy. And nowhere near good enough.

�As am I. I didn�t mean to embarrass you.�

�You didn�t. I just�� The emptiness of her face filled like a rain barrel, her outward calm falling away as his began to slip in its wake.

�Jesse?� He watched as she brought a hand to her face. Her bandaged hand, still badly bruised. �Are you all right?�

�Yes, but�� He reached out to her, but she pulled away almost as if repulsed. She barely steadied herself on her feet before she spoke again, every word a shaking plea. �Gil, please, I can�t do this.�

He tried to keep his breathing steady as his body ran cold. The little black box in his mind that held the monster that was his insecurities popped open, letting emerge every doubt he had about himself. And one brand new one. Is that how she saw him, too? A monstrous demon that would only bend her to his will and then toss her aside like some broken doll?

�You can�t do this with me, or you can�t do this at all?� When her eyes met his, he could have sworn he heard a wave crash within them.

�You don�t get it. I�m not here to stay.� Gil blinked owlishly as the words sank in fully.

�But you love it here.� Not staying? But that was absurd! Sara was here. Her mother was gone, no longer controlling her life. There was nothing holding her back anymore. What more did she need?

�Not for the right reasons. There are things here that I can�t do. What you�re asking of me is one of them.� Gil felt his stomach fall away, the thought of losing Jesse far more worrisome than he�d thought it would be. He had of course counted on a possible open rejection on his own part, but not on hers. He hadn�t prepared for such a blow to his grudgingly unstable ego, and now as it stared him squarely in the face, he wasn�t sure dealing was an option at all, all of Vegas not withstanding.

�Remember when I told you that I was happy to leave San Fran because it would get me back to the mountains?� He nodded dumbly, his logical mind still well controverted by his vaulting emotions.

�I was wrong. I had thought for so long that the mountains were where I belonged. But now I see that I was already where I belonged. I thought the mountains were a part of me, but I see now that my heart belongs to the sea, as it always has.� A thought struck him then, one that burned a hole in his chest as it came into full being.

�This isn�t about Nick.� Liar, I am.

�Yes, it is, and you know it.� Gil looked away a moment, another whole set of red, raw emotion welling within him. She knew. Nick�s anger made a harsh kind of sense in this new blinding light. Nick knew. Jesse knew. He was losing the only two people he�d ever truly cared for, and they both knew it.

�You know he cares for you, and you can�t tell me that you don�t care for him as well.� Her words swam within his mind, clinking nosily with the already aching feelings he had toward the younger man. That man with a smile that could melt a glacier. That man with eyes as deep as the night itself�

�You must go to him, Gil. He needs you.� Gil snapped back to himself, the dormant protector within him coming fully to life once again. Though she didn�t seem so fragile just then, so in need of protecting. She stood fully before him, and though her cheeks had tinged and her eyes shown bright, they held a new kind of strength, one he envied. She knew what she wanted, and she would settle for nothing less. But what?

�What about you?�

�I know my way home, and I know now that it is not here.� She touched his face so gently, and his own hands swooped in to keep her there, something he could not do for his heart.

�Go, Gil, before it�s too late.� He shut his eyes harshly against the tears, not just for what he was losing, but for what he had the potential to gain this night.

�I�ll never forget this, Jesse.� I love you, he didn�t say.

�Then you�ll never forget how much he means to you.� A single kiss to her cheek and he was gone, down the hall and out of sight before her eyes could hope to follow without tearing. I love you, too�

�So?� Sara�s voice was a welcome reprieve as she walked slowly from behind a file cabinet. Jesse smiled into the eyes of her choice, more than content with her decision and all it would entail.

�He�s on his way.�

�And we�?�

�Have an appointment with Comrade.� She slipped an arm around Sara�s waist and her head snuggly against her lover�s neck, glad for the height difference they shared. �Ready for the ride of your life?�

Sara placed an airy kiss to the cinnamon curls before her, a smile she didn�t want to hide anymore filling her face and heart. �I can�t wait to see this!�

Gil pulled up to the building he knew well enough, relieved to find the other Tahoe parked in the drive. His own SUV pulled up close and he all but leapt from the driver�s seat, ready to take on the world if it meant reaching his goal.

As he reached for the door he heard it, a dull thud that sounded too large not to be human. And just behind it, a wail like that of agony given life.

He opened the door with his key as quietly as his shaking strength would allow. After Nigel Crane, Gil had been so flattered that Nick had trusted him with it, and yet he�d never used it until now�

In a moment he was in the back bedroom, though he couldn�t remember getting there. Before him lay a man he knew and yet didn�t, tangled so tightly in the sheets of the king size bed that Gil wondered how he�d managed not to tangle them around his neck. Gil toed off his shoes as he moved forward and slid onto the bed next to the terribly shaking form�

SMACK! Nick reeled from the shock of the blow. He�d expected it, just not so soon. He hadn�t even had a chance to speak, to defend himself before the blow came down, not that he expected any less.

�Pathetic.�

�No�Gil�please�� Gil watched as Nick flailed once, his hand cracking loudly against the wood headboard. The arm swung out again, but Gil caught that twitching limb mid-air and held it gently. Nick�s face scrunched in pain as he tried to pull his hand back.

�Nicky.� Gil took a moment to examine the injured hand. Not serious, just loud. He held that hand to his heart as he watched Nick slowly come back. The clouded eyes opened slowly, and without a thought Gil gathered Nick to him, feeling the taught muscles seize further in his grasp.

Nick fought hard against the haze his mind always dropped him in after that kind of nightmare. But was it? He tried to open his eyes, but it was hard to take a deep breath. Something was wrapped around him. Arms? Yes, strong, and they were holding him up. When at last he thought to he looked just to one side, a mass of dull silver hair meeting his gaze. And that scent. The one that always sent his blood singing in his veins was close enough to enjoy it.

�G-Gil?�

�I�m here, Nicky.� At last, he thought as he pulled in tighter. No more anger, no more yelling. Gil wasn�t mad anymore. Had Nick finally proven himself? Gentle hands and strong arms held him so unprofessionally, caressing him and protecting his very sanity. So unlike Grissom, but it felt so good. So real.

Truth be told, that was the only thing that had kept him in check on these insane nights. The thought that Grissom� Gil� would never really harm him. Nick burrowed further into the hollow of soft throat before he found his voice again.

�What are you doing here?� Gil didn�t answer, he merely stroked across damp, silken skin. His fingers grazed parts of Nick no one had touched in far too long, and he sighed gently into the dark, damp hair before him.

Nick held tighter, every touch feeling as real and as unreal as his dream. Perhaps he had finally conquered his nightmare? What if this was his resolution? His mind finally coming to be at peace with�pain? Yes, he could feel it. His hand hurt. It hadn�t hurt like this since the last time he nearly took out a door jam on a crime scene run. The Collins case. But this was recent. What the hell was happening�?

�I came to see you.� The voice came out of nowhere to his now perked ears, and yet the familiar, aching feelings weren�t vanishing as they always did when he woke up. He was still being held, being touched. Warm breath ran though his hair, smooth skin beneath his hands, a deep, rhythmic pulse to his ear...

�Gil.� He still sounded so lost, exposed. Gil wrapped him all the tighter, trying to shelter this wonderful man, cursing himself for allowing so much harm to come so close. And it was his own damn fault, he knew that now. If he�d only known� but he hadn�t, not until tonight. Then tonight he would make good. Tonight he would do right by the wondrous man in his arms. He pulled back a moment and Nick sat up on his own, his back protesting violently.

�Ow! Aw, man, I feel like hell.�

�You look like you could use a nice hot shower.� Nick met his eyes with a sheepish grin.

�I honestly don�t think I could stand for that long.�

�Who says you have to?� Nick�s eyebrows made a valiant attempt to climb right off his face. Gil could only smile. �Come on. Let�s get you cleaned up a bit.�

Once in the bathroom, Gil sat Nick gently on the commode and switched on the water. Thankfully it was a stall; no awkwardly stepping into a tub. He pulled Nick�s shirt over his head and brushed his fingers over the smooth flesh of his shoulders. �He needs you.� The familiar words came to him unbidden, and yet so true. He stepped back as Nick watched him and began on the buttons of his own shirt. Nick�s eyes followed Gil�s fingers as they attacked one button after another. At last the shirt was free, and beneath it was nothing. The soft cotton slipped to the floor, and Nick barely had time to appreciate what had been revealed before Gil began work on his belt. Socks were toed off, and his pants fell to the floor, leaving only a set of simple satin boxers. Nick wouldn�t have pinned Gil for a �boxers� man, but he didn�t care. He tried to stand, but a hand came to his shoulder, gracefully pushing him back down.

�Let me, Nicky.� When he looked up again, the boxers were gone, revealing his boss� his friend... to his gaze. Who knew that under those baggy, frumpy clothes was such a great body? Well-developed legs and arms, a strong chest. Heck, even the slight �middle-aged spread� made him look like the sexiest thing Nick had ever seen. Not to mention a package big enough to be gift-wrapped all by itself. When he finally met Gil�s knowing gaze, he swallowed hard against that beautiful half smile.

�Glad you approve. Now,� he said reaching out, �let�s get you cleaned up.�

The water felt incredible. He hadn�t thought about anything but getting to bed once he�d gotten home, but just the hot water moving over him felt amazing. But more than that the warmth of skin, Gil�s skin, made him feel complete, whole. Like this was where he belonged. Nick leaned back into the hard body, certain he�d died and gone to heaven. This couldn�t be real, reality couldn�t feel this damn good.

Gil�s hand swept over his chest and stomach, slouching away the soap and mingling his touch with the warm water that washed away more than just the feel of sweat and a hellified day. The two together made him feel cleansed, like the dissonance that was his life before this moment would never touch him again. Like he could sleep at last, knowing he was safe. Knowing Gil was there. He reached back and ran his fingers through waves of gunmetal hair, begging that this could somehow last forever.

But he knew it couldn�t, and he had to smile as the water shut off, Gil barely moving from behind him. They worked their way back out of the shower stall, and Nick was more than happy to be toweled off by the boss. Strong fingers massaged his skin just behind the terrycloth, a softened warmth that left trails of sensation across his heated skin.

Then those fingers were bare and touching him, his neck, his chest, his face. Nick�s eyes opened to find Gil watching him, hawk sharp orbs the deepest blue Nick had ever seen. One hand went to his neck, and he didn�t mind being led�

Their lips met gently, warm and soft and so tingling, but Nick couldn�t help pushing, just a little. He pulled Gil closer, and gasped as he met an arousal as up and coming as his own. Gil took advantage, diving into Nick�s mouth with a tender tenacity. Nick answered him softly, tongues sliding against each other with no thought to time. One lazy kiss moved into another, feeding a latent need for contact. Nick�s fingers swept through iron gray hair, holding him just where he was. Not that Gil wanted to be anywhere else, but he was more than willing to be held so. Nicky needed to know he wouldn�t disappear, and he would gladly demonstrate that for him however he needed to be shown.

Nick broke the kiss a moment, his breathing ragged as he pressed that one step more into Gil�s body. �Stay?�

�Of course.� Nick dove in for seconds, and Gil couldn�t help but smile into Nick�s impetuous kiss, nor could he deny the shudder that ran through him at the tiniest whimpers escaping his young lover. Lover? I do like the sound of that�

They broke apart only enough to move back into the bedroom, Nick�s drawn out yawning punctuating every few steps. Gil sat Nick down on the pulled back sheets, and took the younger man�s face in his hands. He swept the stray hairs from his face, fascinated by how Nick�s outward age seemed to change with the length of his hair. With his head shaven, he seemed so much older, so seasoned. Short, he seemed so fresh, so clean and yet still polished enough to rely on. But with this longer, shaggier look, he seemed so innocent, and how Gil had wanted to reach out and run his fingers through the dark mass every time he�d seen it. Which of course he indulged in now, much to the delight of his young investigator. Nicky leaned into the touch, purring gently as each stroke led into the next until Gil was on his knees before him, their faces touching, soft breath flowing between them without pause.

�Promise you�ll be here in the morning?�

�I promise you, Nicky,� Gil said as he laid Nick gently back against the pillows. Gil slid into the bed next to Nick with a grace he didn�t know he had and pulled the younger man in close. Not that Nick needed the help. He was more than happy to curl as tight as he could around all of Gil. Nick�s arms wound around his chest and nearly squeezed the breath out of him, but he didn�t care. If his breath could give Nick�s mind the rest it needed, he would gladly give it.

Before he knew it, a soft, contented snore met his ears. He smiled against jet-black hair. Jesse was right. She�d been right about so many things, but what about herself? Had her ocean truly called her, away from the mountains she�d longed for all her life? Or was he simply not her mountain? Was he not what she truly needed, and upon being given the chance for it, had she realized that she�d been looking the wrong direction? The ever-changing ocean. Had it brought something new to her door, now that she had the chance to look? He didn�t have to wonder what that might be as he drifted off to sleep.

The sun was well into baking his face as his eyes slowly opened. The curtains had been left askew, leaving a tiny slit just big enough for a sunbeam to peak through. And Nick was really not in the mood to get up right then. He pulled the covers over his head, much happier to stay where it was warm. And it was very warm today�

Too warm. Warm against his back. His back? The last time he�d felt that he hadn�t been alone. The hell?! Nick turned over just in time to get an arm flopped over his chest with a soft sigh. A rather hairy arm. A very manly arm. He looked down at his mystery bed partner, and the night flashed before his eyes. Work. Gil freaked. Report. Jesse freaked. Nightmares. Gil again, in his house. Shower. Shower, kisses, long and slow and deep�

The eyes before him opened, and a smile he�d never seen before spread across the older man�s face.

�Good morning.� The hand that touched his face should have startled him, but it didn�t. He was way too far into shock for that.

�Gil?� How could that one little word come out all wrong? When Gil was touching him like this, pulling him in, letting his head fall against that chest as their legs were suddenly a tangled mess.

�Yes, Nicky.�

�It wasn�t a dream?� Gil placed a single, airy kiss atop the younger man�s head, pulling in a lungful of his scent.

�No, Nicky, it wasn�t a dream.� No. It was a nightmare, and so was this. Nick was out of his bed and across the room in a flash, the sweat slowly beading on his face.

�Nick?� No. This was not happening. This was not really Gil. This was some insane hallucination caused by too much daydreaming, not enough liquor, and not nearly enough sex. That�s it. As soon as he actually woke up today, he was going to finally figure out what he had to do to find a rent boy. Or become one. One or the other. Or both. Maybe that was it. He needed one, he needed to be one, just to get over this insane need he had to be touched by someone, anyone-

Something was holding his arm. Nick looked, and again the image he met was hurting him. Well, wasn�t that always the way, he thought miserably.

�Nicky, please, calm down.� Gil tried his best to sound collected, but Nick wasn�t cooperating. Something was wrong. Another nightmare? But why couldn�t he wake up? Gil reached out to Nick�s face to wipe some of the sweat away, but Nick flew from his grasp as if burned. He stumbled a bit as he held the side of his head.

�Why are you doing this to me?�

�Why do you insist on running away from me?� Open mouth, insert foot. Nice. Gil watched helplessly as Nick turned just enough to shoot him a slicing glance.

�Why are you even here?� Good question, because if looks could kill, he�d be in pieces right about now. Not that he didn�t deserve it after the last few days (weeks, months, Gods years) but now was not the time for that kind of guilt. It was time for honesty, and Nick was more than due his share.

�Because I�m tired of letting you go home alone, and I�m tired of going home to no one every day.�

�How did you know I was even alone?� Nick spat bitterly, pulling just out reach of the warmth he wanted so much. Not that he should be all that surprised. After all, everyone thought he was this pathetic, wide-eyed Texas boy who got lots of tail but never had a stable girlfriend because he had �commitment issues� or some other bullshit. And speaking of girlfriends� �Besides, you�d be leaving someone else alone in the process, wouldn�t you?�

�Nicky, you don�t understand.�

�You�re the one who taught me that the evidence never lies.� And watching you make out with that little hussy was more than enough evidence for me, thank you very much. Ok, that mental image just hurt� �I don�t� want t-to��

�To get between us?� Something violent crackled across Nick�s mind, a barely checked anger he couldn�t hope to hold back.

�That�s one way to say it.� He rose slowly, coming to his full height as what was left of his energy came to the point of a needle, and cut deeply into the only emotion Nick had any control over any more: rage. �Another way is I don�t want her coming to me thinking I�m trying to steal you from her. Or worse that you�re cheating on her, or hell, that you�re cheating on me with her. I don�t need that kind of mess.�

�I�m not here to create problems for you, Nicky.�

�That�s a laugh. Let me ask you, Gil, was Jesse really passed out when you carried her to that back bedroom, or was it all an act so the two of you could find a quiet place to make out?�

�I don�t deserve that.�

�Yeah well, again, the evidence doesn�t lie.�

�No, it doesn�t, as long as it�s interpreted properly.�

�And what exactly could I misinterpret from seeing the two of you sucking face on a bed in a dark room of Catherine�s house? Seems pretty obvious to me.�

�Silk, silk, silk, Nicky.� The leer Nick shot him easily could have registered on the Richter Scale.

�Do not start that again.� Stone cold, and so were those still captivating eyes.

�In this situation, it fits. What did you see exactly?� Ok, he�d bite. If it got this out and then got Gil out of his house, he�d bite one of the bullets of his gun. Still might before the day was over.

�I saw you sitting on the edge of that bed kissing Jesse. Anything else, or would you like to leave now?�

�I�m not going anywhere until we clear the air on this.�

�At this rate, I�m going to need a gas mask.�

�Will you listen for a minute instead of just attacking me?� Gil clenched his jaw shut. No, he couldn�t get angry. Nick had that right; he didn�t. Gil took one deep breath before going on, knowing full well this could be one of the last things he ever said to Nick. �Yes, I kissed her, I admit that. I kissed her on the forehead, and she was completely passed out. Haven�t you ever done something like that for a sleeping child before?�

�Sure, but not if she was an adult and taken, and not if I was really interested in someone else.� Point.

�What I did was try to ensure that she was ok before I left her to sleep. She was drunk and exhausted and I didn�t want her to wake up not knowing where she was or thinking something untoward had happened.� Nick swept a hand through his hair as an acrid grin made a home beneath his nose.

�Right, you were just trying to help her. It only took that little bitch a month to catch your eye, and I�ve been here how long?�

�First of all, you caught my eye the first moment I saw you.� Gil had barely said three words before Nick started pacing, every muscle Gil could see pulled taught and straining. Gil might say he did a good impression of a caged animal if it didn�t scare him so damn badly.

�And secondly, the only thing that�s happened between �that little bitch� and I is that she showed me that caring about you just might be the most important thing in my life.� Nick halted mid-step and changed direction coming to the wall just in time to give it a half-hearted punch. His head gave a much more resounding thump when it hit.

�She likes you, Gil. A lot. And she�s a lot better for you than I ever could be�� His voice broke a moment, but he refused to let it happen again. He was done crying over this. He wouldn�t withstand doing it again, and he almost succeeded. Almost. �I won�t get between you. I want you two to be happy.�

Deflated. Defeated. A host of d-words came to mind as Nick thumped his head against the wall a second time. Everything from his chest to his knees felt like it was falling apart with every step Gil took toward the hurting figure before him. And it was his fault. He�d laid this burden on those broad shoulders, but they hadn�t held. They were buckling before his very eyes, and it was high time he took back that pain, even if he had to bear it himself for the rest of his life.

�Then it�s only fair to tell you,� he said as he took Nick gently by the arm, �that there�s no �us� to get between.� Lies, all lies. I can�t let him do this to me again. Even as that thought went through his mind, the younger man turned and met Gil�s gaze, his own shining so bright it was blinding. Gil reached up and cupped that beautiful face, ready to catch whatever Nick might throw at him.

�But there is an �us� for you to be a part of, if you�d like, Nicky.� Nick seemed to crumble, and he wrapped his arms around the younger man�s waist to keep him on his feet, just in case.

�What are you saying?� Nick held on tight as his voice broke apart completely, his eyes shining like amber sunbeams. Such exposed hope Gil could never shatter. And he would see to it that no one ever dared such a thing again.

�This.� Gil�s voice was so thick and dark and layered Nick could peel it like an onion for days. And then it was gone. The doubt, the pain, everything that Nick had stuffed between himself and the man he loved vanished in the instant their lips touched. Nick�s arms slipped around the older man�s shoulders of their own accord, and it was all he could do not to melt away. All the memories of the night before came to him in an almost violent rush of warm water and feeling. The kiss was gentle and soft, meant more to soothe than arouse. But it managed both.

Gil pulled back, Nick�s head fuzzy over the lack of oxygen. Not that he cared much.

�Nicky-�

�Shut up, Gil.� Gil was obviously startled, which was good. Much better than chatty. �For once in your life, just shut up and kiss me.� The grin across his face ran down to his toes as Gil happily obliged.

They made it into the lab on time, which took quite an effort all things considered. Nick and Gil arrived in separate cars, just to make sure no one suspected. Keeping things low key had been Nick�s preference, but Gil didn�t mind. Whatever he could do to make this work, he would.

They arrived to a very empty lab, and Catherine stood by and looked forlornly through the glass to a cleared off desk in the DNA.

�Hey, where�s Jesse?�

�You didn�t hear?� Catherine leaned lightly against the doorframe, a sad smile across her face. �Jesse quit last night. Sara too, matter of fact.�

�Quit?� Catherine looked like she�d just lost her favorite pet. Gil couldn�t help thinking that perhaps that�s what they all were to her some days, but the thought didn�t pan out well. Catherine cared far too much about people for that, and perhaps that was her only true fault. �Just like that?�

�Yup. Told Ecklie where he could stick this job in front of God and everybody. Apparently, they�re both going back to San Francisco. Said something about missing the ocean.�

�I�ll bet they did,� Grissom said just loud enough for Nick to hear something.

�What�d you say?� Catherine asked, but it was Nick�s question, and Gil could see that clearly.

�Nothing.� Nick gave him the look. The one he hated. The one he always managed to succumb to at the most inopportune moments. �I just said I hope they end up ok.�

�Me, too.� She seemed as at a loss for words as anyone, which was a feat considering it was Catherine. She rose from her perch and moved gently past them. �Well, I have some paperwork to wrap up.�

�Hey, Cat, what�s up?�

�Warrick, hey.� She looked back a moment, but Gil and Nick were both gone. She turned to her lover, and without thinking touched the arm closest to her. �Jesse and Sara left last night.�

�Left? What do you mean they left?�

�This job, this city, this state. They both went back to San Francisco according to rumor.� Warrick did a remarkable impression of fresh fish as Catherine tried not to smile too big.

�Wow. Together?�

�Looks like it.� That was new. Warrick made a mental note to keep up with office gossip better after this. But just then, with the one woman that mattered most so close, he didn�t care much. Not to say he didn�t care at all.

�Hope they do all right.� Catherine sighed heavily, and at that moment all he wanted was to lift that burden from her shoulders, even if it meant he would have to bear it for her. He would bear them all if it would make her happy. That thought was more than a little scary, especially for him, but he didn�t mind so much. And that scared him most of all.

�Honestly? If Sara can find someone to build a life with, I think there�s hope for all of us.� Warrick flashed his signature grin, the one that turned Catherine into a puddle every time. That alongside those amazing eyes could make the Mona Lisa blush.

�You really mean that?�

�Enough to ask you to move in with me.� The words were out before she realized she�d taken a breath. Out and irrevocable and completely honest for the first time in a long time.

�What?!� That turned more than one head, but as the shock in his eyes gave way to more, more joy, more hope, and more love than Catherine could ever hope to be worthy of, she could only smile.

�Relax. We�ll talk after we get off.�

�So what�d you really say?� Doesn�t waste any time, does he? I could learn a few things from him. More than a few, if he was lucky. Gil pulled Nick gently into the currently empty DNA lab and regarded his younger cohort happily.

�I�ll tell you tonight, Nicky. Now, come on. I need to get assignments out, and we need to get shift over with.� So we can go back home.

�Sounds good, love.� Gil couldn�t hold in a smile at the glint in his young lover�s eye.

�Love?� Feelings of marvelous inadequacy bubbled to the surface, just to pop unheeded under the deep amber light of Nick�s gaze. Who was he to question? He had no right. No right to any of this, really, but he wasn�t about to turn it down.

�Wouldn�t settle for anything less.� Gil didn�t bother to look before he swooped in to take those sweet lips in a fierce kiss.

�Then I�ll make sure you never have to.� The two of them walked off side by side, never noticing the two figures standing in the shadows, drinking very, very strong cups of coffee, one sweet, one creamy.

The steam from his cup billowed under his nose as he took a sip. Greg assumed that being the slightly grizzled cop that he was, Jim Brass was used to doing such a thing. Greg usually liked to at least let his coffee cool for a bit before burning the inside of his mouth.

�They look happy, all of them.�

Greg grinned, knowing full well Brass knew this whole thing would work out from the start. �Yeah. Took them long enough.�

�Amen to that.� Another searing sip, but all Greg could do was stare into those razor blade eyes. They were truly the only things that could ever betray emotion in the man, but he�d seen the level of emotion the wondrous man had within him, and he didn�t mind the tough outside. The inside was well worth the effort it took to get there. But that didn�t mean Greg couldn�t still mess with him.

�Think we should tell them about us?� Brass glanced over a moment, a mischievous glint in his eye that made Greg�s heart bounce.

�Nah. I think this apple cart has been upset enough for quite a while.�

Disclaimer: The characters, names, and references made herein belong to CBS inc, Jerry Bruckheimer, etc. No copyright infringement intended. For fun, not profit.

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